Adoption how would you know?

Question

If you were adopted when you were young how would you find out when you where older ? besides the obvious your parents telling you. what happens to your original birth certificate ? who has access to the original birth certificate ?

Answer 1

If your parent chose not to tell you that you were adopted then there is no way to find out until they passed away and you found the adoption paper, if they kept them. Once you are adopted a birth certificate is issued with your adoptive parents names on it. There are people out there trying to change the laws but right now the only way to access your birth certificate or any information about your biological family would be to petition a family court judge to open your records. The problem with that is may biological parents signed a waiver stating they did not want the records ever opened except in the case of a severe medical emergency and then only the families medical history will be accessable. Sometimes if you are lucky you can get a biological parent to change their mind when the court notifies them that you have petitioned but if they do not want the records opened then there is nothing you can do about it. This is unfortunate for children who would like to get to know their biological families especially if the biological mother has passed away because then it makes it even harder to get the necessary permission to open the records.

Just to clarify something I read in an earlier answer, the birth certificate issued after the adoption is not "forged". It is a legal birth certificate that lists your adoptive parents instead of your biological. The purpose of a birth certificate is to prove a live birth occured, the date of occurance and who the legal parental gaurdians are. If a child was adopted by a grandparent or other relative due to the death of the biological parents and had the birth certificate modified to reflect that they were now the childs legal gaurdian would you consider that a forgery as well?

Some parents choose to tell their children at a very young age that they were adopted. Others choose to wait until the child is older and can better understand the reasoning behind the adoption. Yes there are some parents out there that never tell their children but there is nothing that can be done about that. Honestly I wish that my parents had not told me that I was adopted. Once I was old enough to understand what adoption was I wanted to find my biological family. Mainly because I was an only child and wanted to know if I had any biological brothers or sisters. When I found out that my biological mother wanted nothing to do with me and that because of that I would never know my biological family I was devistated. I believe that a child should be told but only when they are old enough to understand and to handle the burden that knowing you are adopted sometimes carries.

Answer 2

I concur, my amended birth certificates doesn't have my weight/height on it. Everything else is there. HOWEVER it was filed a year after I was born. Even though I tried to put a letter in my "file" to be contacted, it was sent back to be because the records were sealed. However I was born on a US Territory.

Answer 3

It depends where you are adopted from. Once I was adopted a new birth certificate was created as there were no originals from where I was.  I got them from my parents.   If you live in the US which ever state they were processed in (most likely the state you first lived, if you have since moved) you should be able to obtain them once you become of legal adult.

Answer 4

Hi Kekt,

Here are some ways to help you determine if you may have been adopted, and also some information on birth certificates.  First off, have you asked your parents?  Go by not only what they tell you, but also their body language and your gut instincts.    Do you resemble anyone on either side of your family?  Do you share any talents, interests, and medical conditions with them?

If you think you may have been adopted, look at the birth certificate you do have.  Is it missing vital pieces of information on it?  Adoptee's amended birth certificates are usually missing everything except child's name, date of birth, & adopted parent's names and their dates of births.  Your weight/height will not be on it, the hospital and doctor are often omitted.  Signatures are frequently typed in where they should be signed.  You will notice on there that there is a date that it was filed.  Usually that date will be only a few days after your actual date of birth if you are not adopted.  If you are adopted, that date can be months or even years later than when you were actually born.

That is not a foolproof way to know, but it is a very good indication since it takes time to finalize the adoption.  The only way to know for sure would be DNA testing.  There are some other simple genetic indicators that can exclude parentage but not determine it, for example, 2 blue-eyed parents can never have a brown-eyed child.  Different blood types can only produce certain other blood types.  

Other clues:  It's likely there will be other, older family members in the adoptive family who know of the adoption, or longtime family friends.  Even if they do not give you the facts, you might be able to gage something is up by any unusual reactions to your request for information.  Are there any pictures that exist of you during birth or right after birth?  Have you ever asked your mother to tell you the story of the day you were born?  Most mothers would be delighted to talk about what they were doing before they went into labor, how long labor lasted, regular birth or c-section, what your weight and height were at birth, how long the 2 of you stayed in the hospital, who your doctor was, which hospital, etc.  Do you have a baby book that details your mother's pregnancy and your childhood?  Does it contain your hospital bracelet or baby footprint?  Do you know if your mother had a baby shower?  Were you a breastfed baby?  Ask her if she craved any specific foods when she was pregnant with you.  Ask her if she gained a lot of weight with you.  Are there any pictures of her pregnant with you?  Do you have siblings?  If so, do you remember them being born or is there proof of that?  Did they have you baptized?  Do you know when and where?  Any of these questions individually might not mean much; together it could paint a different picture.

To answer your other question, adoptees & adoptive parents may have access to the amended birth certificate, and natural parents may have a copy of your original one.  In the closed adoptions, those parties usually did not know each others' names.  Even in open adoptions, there are no exceptions made to who may access birth certificates regardless of wishes by either party, without a court order.  

It's possible you could request information pertaining to an adoption decree from your state office of vital statistics.  Even though they will likely not give you identifying information, they may indicate that the records exist if you approach it as assuming that they do have it.

Another thing you could do is register with International Soundex Reunion Registry. (link below)  It's a free, well known & worldwide registry.  You enter in the details of your birth, and if it a match comes up with any natural relatives separated through adoption, you will both be notified.  I've used that and I know it works, if the other person is also registered.

I hope that some of these ideas will help you get to the bottom of this.  Deceiving people about adoption is wrong.  Learning that one is a late-discovery adoptee is quite a shock!  If that turns out to be the case, there is support out there for you or anyone else who thinks they may have been a victim of a secret adoption.  Good luck to you.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Edit for mscrawdad:  The reason why it is so difficult is because most U.S. states (currently 44 of 50) still have outdated laws requiring original birth certificates to be sealed upon the finalization of an adoption.  They have never been available over the internet if the adoption occurred in a state with sealed laws.  Regardless if the adoption is an open or closed one, original birth certificates are required to be permanently sealed, unless a court order is granted by a judge.  It has nothing to do with natural parents' wishes.  Back in the baby scoop era, many adoptive parents wanted to pretend that they had given birth to children they did not, and it was concealed by sealed records.  A birth certificate records the details of a live birth.  The facts of the event never change.  It is not a record of who currently has custody of a child.  It is not an invitation to a reunion.  An adoption decree indicates an adoption later took place and who the legal parents are.  The adoptive parents names are found there.  The only birth certificate available in 44 states today is still the amended one, which many adoptees consider to be a forged document because it inaccurately lists only adoptive parents' names as giving birth to them, which is a lie.

Technically, it is still optional today if adoptive parents care to reveal adoptive status to a child even though professionals are advising to tell children early, and it's common knowledge now that it is the right thing to do.  There are still some adoptive parents that try to keep that fact secret from the adoptees themselves.  Secrets are unhealthy and detrimental to families.  Until the laws are changed, it will continue to be difficult for a person to know for sure that they are adopted if the adoptive parents are insistent upon trying to hide that from them.  I have witnessed firsthand what that does to adoptees who discover later in life, and it shatters their sense of reality.  It's devastating to find out the very people they have trusted the most for their entire lives have been lying to them about something so vital & important to who they are.  It makes people feel like they are living a lie, and why did it happen?  Their parents put their own needs to feel like they gave birth over their child's needs and rights as a human to know who they really are and where they came from.

Edit to address some other misinformation given:  Natural parents have never signed any documents stating they wish to never be contacted, and no such document has ever been produced to that effect.  What is signed is a RELINQUISHMENT paper.  That only states that a parent agrees not to PARENT the child.  There is no mention of never wanting to see their child again nor promises of anonymity.  Relationships are to be decided between individuals, just like they are between any other adults in society.

Answer 5

Usually, the original birth certificate is sealed, and an amended certificate is issued.  Except in six states (in the U.S.) no one has access to the original (unless a judge orders it unsealed).

Answer 6

You know, I've seen similar questions before.  And it confuses me as to why it is so difficult for adoptees to get their original birth certificates now.  I understand if you don't have any information to go on, like bio parents names, but isn't that all you really need is DOB, your birth name, and their names?  I just went on the internet and ordered them online.  When they asked who I was, I put "Mother" in the blank.  I gave them my credit card number and six weeks later they came in the mail.  Is this no longer a viable method for obtaining birth certificates?  I just ordered my adopted daughter 2 more, but with her adopted name on them because she keeps losing hers.  I just filled out the form on the net and when it asked who I was, I put "Mother" in the blank again, just like I did years ago when ordering their originals.  I'm just confused why so many adoptees can't get their OBC's.  Surely, your adoptive parents at least know your birth parents names?  Hmmmm!  This one just floors me.

Edit back to Julie J:  Thanks for the info.  CA must not be one of the states that seals them.  Do you know if it is or not?  And when do they get sealed?  Upon finalization of the adoption?  Perhaps this is a great opportunity to ask adoptive parents to send for one prior to finalization.  I know the fear the adoptive parents have about the child wanting to be reunited with the bio parents.  I've lived through that, but it didn't stop me from doing what I thought best for the children.  And one thing that I knew was best was to have their original birth certificates to make available to them when they turned 18.  They were 3 and 4 and knew they were adopted.  It was a very open discussion in our home.  Heck my birth sons were only 5 and 7 and told people if you want a little sister you just drive to this house and pick some out.  Until they were all old enough to understand we let them think or say whatever they wanted about it to whomever they wanted.

I just knew that if it were me that I would want as much info as I could get.  It was actually the adoptions worker that told me how to apply for their new birth certificate so that I could do it once finalized.  As soon as she told me I went home and ordered their originals, because I asked if I would get a copy of them and she said no.  So, I got my own.  Another thing is that the government is so screwed up and makes so many mistakes.  If you at least attempt to order one, all they can do is say no, right?  I bet a lot of people would get theirs even if it is SUPPOSED to be sealed.  If it were me I would try it anyway.

Thanks again for the info.

Answer 7

If your parents don't tell you, the only way your would know would be via blood test.  The birth certificate is re-issued.  They used to believe that it was better for the child and for the birth mother if they had a closed adoption and tried to pretend it didn't happen.  Not because anyone thought adoption was bad (as someone else wrote), but out of a mis-guided attempt to do what they thought was best for the welfare of all involved.

Answer 8

Not know

But when adoption was a bad things some parents hide it from them

They found out when one or both parents Dies, and go through family papers, and fine adoption papers

Most parents tell the children today

It's not a bad thing