Adoption-i changed my mind,?

Question

ok when my son was 5 monthes old i found myself homeless due to a handicap i had with my eye. i then decided to place him with a christian family in colorado that was 4 weeks ago. the adoption is far form inal and i have a stable job starting next week. becuz i just moved to tennessee...well...i cant stop thinking about my son and i want him back. do u think teh adoption agency would fly me out there to get him? God has opened up the door for me to get him and i want him.

are there any laws preventing me form getting him? how long do u have to go get him beofre it is abandonment i plane on going friday to get him but i cant go now cuz i dont have a ride 1367 miles away. so my questions are...

will teh adoption agency fly me out there to get him?

if not how long ddo i have beofre they call it abandment?

guyz i am n o longer homelss and have peopel to help me with my kids seeing as how now i am legally blind...

its my kids dads fmaily....

Answer 1

Unfortunately, unless they have already said so, the agency is not going to help you. Under CO law, you have 90 days to revoke if your consent have been obtained by fraud or duress. Very hard to prove.

That being said, it is a requirement to get counseling before relinquishment so if you did not receive it , the consents may not be valid. The father of the child is required to consent to the adoption if he has been supporting you financially.

Abandonment only applies if they want to terminate your rights involuntarily.

You are going to have to get an attorney and fight this in court. It will most likely be long and costly.

Good Luck

Answer 2

No, the agency won't fly you out.  The Salvation Army might help you.  Have someone read the forms you signed to consent to adopt.  They will have the number of days to withdraw your consent on them.  

Expect your son to be frazzled if you get him.  To be placed at 5 months, and then get him will be confusing, especially with a cross-country move.  My prayers are with your son.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your circumstances, but do you really think it is fair to pull that child away from people who love him, even if you can take care of him now?  Each time a child is shuffled from home to home causes emotional damage due to bonding issues.  I highly doubt the adoption agency is going to spend money on a flight in any case.

Answer 4

hmm, you said God opened the door, does the family want to give him back?

what kind of paper work did you sign? if you relinquished your rights then it's pretty much over.

you can call the agency and see what your options are

Answer 5

Yes you should be able to get him back if he has only been placed a month, adoption is not been finalized and if it’s within the reclaim period. That’s said you truly should have thought about just putting him in temporary foster care for a bit. Rather then give him to a couple whose hearts will now be broken. If the agency would fly you out I don’t know.

Things are looking up  now but what happens when you hit another rough patch? After all everybody has ups and downs in life. The way I see it you didn’t really need to set up an adoption , temporary guardianship.

Answer 6

so basically you gave up your kid, gave him to a loving family and now you want to rip apart the newly formed family...Gee...maybe you should have thought twice before giving him up.  I think you should learn from your mistake and let the new family be.  Sure, you're gonna have to deal with heartache but you made the decision...Live with it.  If the family is going thru adoption proceedings, you probably won't be able to get him back and why would the adoption agency help you?  They have a hard enough time with funding that they aren't going to send you to get him just because you flip flop more than the shoe with the same name.

Answer 7

it doesnt matter, what you call abandonment. you say you placed him with a family, this means that you have no legal rights. some contracts usualy have a time frame for you to change your mind, however if you legaly gave him up, you may not be able to get him back. have someone read the contract you sigend him over with to you. blessings

Answer 8

It depends on what kind of paperwork you signed. If you signed a relinquishment, your rights were taken away forever the moment you signed the forms.  If you signed other kind of paperwork, you may want to contact an attorney.  I doubt the adoption agency will spend any money at all helping you get your child back. Sorry!  Next time you may want to go to the state and ask for help rather then giving your child away. Most states have welfare, emergency funds, and housing for people in your situation.

Answer 9

Okay, I won't be popular for this, but I don't consider 1 month of bonding more important than a mother who does know her baby, but couldn't care for him.

If things aren't final yet, then maybe it's as simple as telling the PAPs that you changed your mind.

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

If you have not signed final adoption papers, fight like h**l to get your son back.  It is the best thing to do for him because it means he will be with his natural mother and not strangers.

You will have an uphill battle tho'.  What about your son's father?  Has he signed?  If not, his lack of consent may be your best chance of getting your son back.

The sooner you act the better your chances are.  Ask your family and friends to help financially.  You can pay them back later.

Answer 11

You need to contact the agency and probably a lawyer ASAP! Do it tomorrow morning! At 4 weeks you should still have the opportunity to get your son back -especially if the adoption is not final!  There has to be somewhere you can get transportation - ride the bus, check with your local churches, something!

Also contact these folks:

www.keepyourbaby.com

They can help you.

I sincerely hope you get your son back! Best wishes for a happy and healthy future! :)

Answer 12

If the adoption has not been finalized then yes, you can legally get him back.

The adoption agency will absolutely positively NOT fly you out to get him. This is your responsibility.

I don't wish to sound harsh, but if you truly wanted your son back then you would find a way.

Answer 13

well it is the part as it takes 6 months tobecome final and well as to fly you out there no they will tell you getting out there is up to you so you would have to due that on your own happy to see you wanting your child back but i would have ask for assistance and free housing thru the state before i gave my baby up

Answer 14

Okay, just to let you know - I adopted both of my kids when they were under 1 year old, but not newborns.

That said, I think you should absolutely tell the adoption agency that you changed your mind, and that you do not want to go through with the adoption.

You should not worry about how it will make the prospective adoptive familiy feel, and you should not worry about how the agency will feel. You are completely within your rights, and you should do what is right for you and for your child.

Also, while the prospective adoptive family will not be happy, it's better for them to hear this sooner rather than later. The earlier you make this decision, the better for everyone - for you, for the couple who wanted to adopt him, and for your child.

I would want to know if my children's birth parents wanted them back. I would want to know this as soon as possible.

Good luck!

Answer 15

The laws you are held to are the laws in the state you resided in while placing. I see that the baby was placed in Colorado. Is that where you were living when you placed your child?

Abandonment happens after one year of no parenting time and no finacial support of your child (CO. law) but that doesn't have anything to do with this adoption. If you signed relinquishments than you have done so permanently. Many people mistake the adoption not being final with the right to go get their child back. That is not the case. You would have to prove to a court that someone forced you or lied to you about what you signed. This is difficult and expencive. It is rare for a court to overturn an adoption.

So sorry. I am glad to hear you are getting back on your feet again. I hope you have an open adoption.

Also. If you didn't sign proper papers and the adoption can be stopped. You will not be doing any long term dammage to your son. He will be happy to see you.

Answer 16

I'm glad you're back on your feet. Do what the previous poster said and call EVERYONE tomorrow morning. I would follow up with letters and send them registered mail. I would also begin a journal stating briefly and factually everything you've done. The bottom line is, what is the law for that state? Did the father also sign over his rights? The law is the law.

I would think that these good christian people would want what is best for the child. The child is bonded to you. If you had been in an accident and they had to watch him for a month, would they claim him as their property? Even if you've missed the deadline, I would certainly appeal to their good senses.

You were doing what the best you could at the time. No one can sit in judgement of you.

Best wishes.

Answer 17

I agree with Lara & Mama, If you really intend to keep your child no matter the circumstances, then keep looking for a way to get to him ASAP. After all, if you are able to get him back, that doesnt mean h**l be bouncing from home to home. Heel only bounce back into his mothers arms. Just because you made a mistake doesnt mean he shouldnt have a chance to be raised by his real mommy. Just be shure and hurry...Good luck, to you both.

Answer 18

How could you raise your baby for FIVE months and then give him away??? What happens next time you find yourself homeless. You find some other poor sap to "babysit" so you can work it out? This is why there are so many kids in foster care!

Have you ever consider how this is going to affect your child?

He bonded with YOU for five months and now he has bonded with these people for a month. You should think long and hard before causing your child anymore emotional distress.

Answer 19

Whether or not you can change your mind at this point depends on what state you were living in when you gave birth. What state were you in? Even though the adoption is not finalized, most states have a fairly short period of time where you can change your mind after signing the papers. In many states it's just a few days or weeks.

Also, no, even if you are able to regain custody, the adoption agency will not pay to fly you out to get the baby. The courts will assume it you are responsible and financially stable enough to properly care for your child, then you will be able to find a way to get there on your own.