Adoption i need answers?

Question

my adpoted parents are not open about me and my brother's adpotion at all, he doesn't want me to nkow anything and i want to know everything i can get my hands on. being adopted is hard for me because my adopted dad, told me lie's about my real mother. i don't know what to do. meeting my parents would be really good for me because i am missing alot out of my life. i am 17 years old and i want to know if anyone has advice to help me out on how to get in contact with my real mother and father. in north carolina you have to be 21 to see anything about your case and i really can't wait that long, is there anyway to see anything before that age. i really need all the help i can get. please, and thank you

Answer 1

well being adopted myself i am searching for birthparents also,up in your search bar type in adoption registry and go from there.you can search for answers on a few of the sites for free others you have to pay for. also if you know their names you can do a whitepages.com search for them. i hope this helps

Answer 2

I answered your other question as well.  I'm very sorry that your adoptive parents are unwilling to support you in your search.  

Do you think your adoptive parents would be interested in reading about adoption loss and the importance of helping their child search for their original family? There are some great books out there that are about educating, not blaming.  Is there a trusted adult that you could ask for help in mediating?  

Fear and insecurity is best addressed by communication and education.  

Maybe try the book: 20 Things adopted children wished their adoptive parents knew (apologies if I didn't get the title correct).  

Best of luck.

Answer 3

I've answered your other question about the searching.

I'm sorry that your adoptive parents aren't open about things.

Mine weren't either.

It's the WORST.

We didn't ask to be adopted - we just want to learn about our truth.

You are NOT alone.

Too many adoptive parents think that it's about them (when we want to know about our first family) - as if it means we no longer care and love them - when really - it's just about US. Some of us just need to know stuff - and they can't fill in those gaps.

I love my adoptive family with all of my heart - but it's not about that.

I didn't look or act like them - and that was very hard to grow up with.

This is something I had to do.

Check out the forum link I gave in the other answer.

There are also links from there to many adoptees currently blogging on the internet. It's wonderful to know that your not alone.

Search and reunion is an absolute rollercoaster ride - but worth every minute of it - in my opinion.

Finding out my truth - was the best thing I ever did.

I'm finally putting together the pieces of me.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

becareful not all reunions turn out positive just brace yourself if it doesn't turn out the way you want or if she is not wanting a relationship with you. I was adopted my birthmom did contact me but i am not too comfortable dealing with her.

Answer 5

look i know that you wanna meet your "biological" parents, but my mom was adopted by her stepdad and her "actual" dad left when she was 6 months old, so she didn't get to meet her actual dad until she was an adult. it wasn't worth it though, she was very dissapionted in him and he wasn't the man she thought he would be, it would have just been better if she never met him at all.

maybe it's just best if you didn't meet them, look at what you have now, [i don't mean to sound rude, but this is the truth,] i mean, if your parents "really" wanted you, they would have gotten you back or kept you.

good luck on weather you choose to find them or not. chances are that you won't if you do go looking for them. but i hope things work out for you.