Adoption in South Carolina?

Question

My wife and I have been trying to have our own child for over 3 years now... we have had 2 miscarriages and are starting to talk about adoption. I am just looking for some approx. answers.

1. About how much does it cost - beginning to end?

2. About how long does it take?

We are still going to try to have our own and have no problem with adopting and having our own, we are just ready to start a family..

I'm 28 and she is 27 we've been married for 5 years (if that matters). We own our own home.

Answer 1

Social Services should be able to explain everything to you.  I'm glad to hear  that adoption is not just a second choice and that you are willing to give a child in foster care a home in any event

It shouldn't cost much for an ethical adoption of a child who really needs a home (there are about 140,000 waiting for homes so you won't be waiting too long)

If you want a newborn from a private $$$$ adoption agency, I think they are unethical and I can't condone anyone using them.

Answer 2

Costs do vary but I think on average it costs the adoptee a complete sense of self and shatters the ability to love unconditionally, while depleting the stores of trust. It costs feeling acceptance, and having one's natural abilities and traits modeled.

For the mother of adoption loss it can cost her future fertility, confidence, self-esteem. Sometimes it costs her severe depression and lack of trust in others. There is a toll of resentment her family may bear for not helping her keep her baby.

For the adoptive parents, usually it's just a bunch of money. Oh and some paperwork.

Answer 3

I know where you are at.  We have been TTC 8+ years.  One of the best pieces of advice that I received while going thru the adoption process was to "grieve the loss of pregnancy" just as it was a child before proceeding.  It's true.  You don't want to adopt a child to "replace the child you can't have".  

For us, our adoption was unique in that someone we knew had a friend who was making a private adoption plan for a child and was looking for adoptive parents.  They contacted us before we had even started considering adoption seriously.  They asked us if we would consider adopting the child, and we were in shock.  

Because of the situation with the state of NJ and the child's medical disorder, our attorney suggested that we use an adoption agency to proceed with an "identified adoption" to insure that all the paperwork was done legally and so that it would protect the child from being placed into foster care.  Doing the adoption this way cost a bit more than if we had just used attornies, but our overall cost was about $12,000.  

Depending on the type of adoption that you proceed with and your state, agency, or country regulations, your fees will vary.  I would recommend speaking to a local reputable adoption agency in your area to find out more information.  Foster/Adopt is also an idea and the state usually assists with many of the fees associated with the adoption in those cases since these children need permanent homes.

The length of the process can vary tremendously also.  For us, the initial placement process was quick.  We met our son's bio family when he was 3 months and he was home with us by the time he was 6 months old.  However, it then took us over a year until we could finalize the adoption but that was because we were trying to secure him additional assistance due to his medical needs.  An adoption agency can discuss all of the typical time frames with you once you have decided on the type of adoption you wish to proceed with.  

Good luck to you.  Feel free to email me thru my profile if I can offer any other advice.

Answer 4

I live in South Carolina.  I am sorry about your struggles, and pray that you have the child you dream of soon-whether it be by adoption or birth (or both!).

Anyway, you should consult a local adoption lawyer or your local Department of Social Services if you are interested in adopting through the foster care system.  

Private adoptions are quite costly, and can cost around $20,000.  They can also take years in some cases.

Adoption through the foster care system can be complete within months (depending on the ages and conditions you stipulate) and cost next to nothing.

International adoption is another option.  It is costly, as well-we are planning to adopt from China and anticipate the costs to be around $30,000.  Each country has their own costs and timelines.

No matter what option you choose, there is an adoption tax credit of approximately $10,000 available-any allowable expenses associated with teh adoption, up to $10,000, would be deducted from your taxable income for the year in which they were occured, or the year the adoption was finalized.  There are sometimes other ways to offset the expenses associted with the lawyers, agencies, etc.

I wish you the best!

Answer 5

1. Please deal with any issues pertaining to you both not being able to conceive prior to even starting the adoption process - no adoptee needs to be trying to replace the child that could never be. (big boots to fill)

2. Adoption through foster care is by far the cheapest - and these are the children that really need a loving home. Over 130,000 are waiting in foster care in the USA - please don't try to get a baby from a mother that really could parent if she were just given the encouragement. Children grow best when they grow with their bio family - so if family can stay together - please support that - for the sake of the child.

3. Length of time - well - how long is a piece of string?? It varies as to what route you take.

4. Please research thoroughly the losses that adoptees and relinquishing parents go through with adoption - the better educated you are - the better adoptive parents you will one day be.

Here are links to the many blogging adoptees currently online -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Just always keep those eyes and hearts wide open.

I'm so sorry about your losses - and I do hope that you both get to have a successful pregnancy down the track.