Adoption in the U.S?

Question

I was wondering if anyone knew the adoption process and how hard it is to adopt a baby in the U.S? I really want to, but I just have no idea of what to do.

Answer 1

foster care to adopt.

Answer 2

Adoption laws vary from state to state.  The foster care system has ways to adopt that are relatively inexpensive compared to traditional agencies.  Research your laws, etc.

Finding a child to adopt is the hard part.  I was introduced to my son's 1st mom by a mutual friend.  By 3 months later, we had the home study completed, the papers signed, and he was in my arms.  That is RARE.  I didn't have any idea when I got into adoption, and Phil has some great suggestions on books to read, and to educate yourself with the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Also, talk to friends that you know that might have been adopted.  Many times, their personal stories aren't nearly as bad as some here.  

I personally don't like agencies, because the women who've placed through them have many times been lied to.  Also, a friend who started filling out paper was told to put that they believed in open adoption, even though they didn't, and was told that it legally couldn't been enforced so they wouldn't have to worry about it.  WRONG.  You worry when your child hates you, because they find out years later, when 1st mom reunites, and tells them horrible stories.  

Also, honesty with your child is best I believe.  If you adopt a child, and try to raise it like you gave birth to it, the truth will come out, and then their entire identity seems to be screwed up.  It's hard on them.  Research everything you can get your hands on, network with friends, and start the foster care courses, which even if you don't become a foster-to-adopt family, it is still an excellent way to learn.  Good luck.

Answer 3

why just a baby?

Answer 4

Some reading to help you in your quest for information:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier