Adoption instead of abortion?

Question

when you hear abot someone considering abortion,almost everyone will jump in and reccomend adoption. Because you will "give the baby the chance of having a happy life with a person that really wants a child and cant have one that will love it and care for it". But then you hear about how adoption hurts kids, you think if it is really the happy ending that they make it sound like. What do you think?

Answer 1

My goodness, what is happening to this world?  I never thought that it would come to people wishing that they had been aborted rather than adopted.  Before I get all those thumbs down because my experience as an adopted child and a person that has adopted I will say this- I know that not all experiences were as positive as mine- but I can tell you some biological families aren't all good either.  I am married to a man that was raised in a bio family and his childhood was not one that was wonderful. What do I think?   I think that adoption is been given a bad name today, because people are trying to make abortion ok, and it isnt' ok.

Answer 2

Adoption does not hurt kids. I was adopted and I am perfectly normal and so is my brother. We never even met our birth parents. I don't plan on meeting mine. This is the only thing we've ever known, and we have a wonderful life now. We were both born to young parents who didn't know any better. I am very thankful I am adopted and they chose life for me. They put me up for adoption because they loved me. It is way better that abortion. I am catholic, so obviously I am against abortion. It is taking aways a precious innocent life. It is murder. Abortion should be outlawed because it is such a terrible thing.

Answer 3

To me, adoption is best if you're not going to raise the child yourself.  If you get an abortion, that's killing the baby and all dreams and hopes it would have had.  Wouldn't you think it's best to give the baby a life, instead of killing it?

Answer 4

i think adoption is better because you give the baby a chance at life.. and mostly everyone picks the adoptive couple, and doesn't choose a mean nasty couple. :)

Answer 5

Adoption is definitely better. Imagine yourself as a baby and you wouldn't have the chance to even see outside your mother's womb because of an abortion. It might hurt a child a little to be adopted but at least they got the chance to live.

Answer 6

I'd s***w the Abortion and adoption if I ever got pregnant. I am 15 and some people would say that I'm not responsible enough to care for a child but when they know what I've been through they'd probably think the opposite. Now mind you I've never had s*x nor even thought about it and don't intend to till I'm married.

I don't want to be a teenager with a child on my hands and watching everyone else have fun while I'm stuck at home! Now when I'm older and am married I'll look at it differently but right now I want to have fun and hang out with my friends. I want to be free and explore all my options. :-)

Answer 7

it has to be your decision, as you are the one who has to live with it for the rest of your life.

i can't understand to-days kids who have unwanted pregnancy's when there is so many options.

as far as i am concerned NO ONE should get pregnant unless they really want a child TAKE PRECAUTIONS

Answer 8

I'm not for or against either.

Abortion you will never see your child, Adoption in the US you will never see your child.

If the pro life groups want to stop abortions, get off the cross and  help give birth mothers more support than trying to have them "gift" their child away to the infertile. Its obviously more damaging emotionally for birth mothers and their children.  The corruption created by ambitious adoptive parents has ruined the very nature of adoption.

Bottom line: Its a women right to choose. Live with it. They do.

Answer 9

I've lived it - and I know hundreds of other adoptees.

Being given away by your mother - HURTS.

People wish to believe it's a 'happy ending' - because they have been fed the story that that's the way it is.

Oh - most of those adoptees lead productive and successful lives - myself included - but I've also had to live with a h**l of a lot of pain and confusion - because somehow -

I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO KEEP.

No amount of - 'you were chosen' - 'it was in your best interests' - really make up for that.

Many many adoptees have huge problems dealing with this.

Answer 10

Ok, I'm going to just go ahead and state the obvious here:  WHAT ABOUT PARENTING???

Now that that's out of the way, if it's a choice between adoption and abortion, and parenting is out of the question (I can't imagine why it would be, considering most of the reasons women give their children away are temporary and easily overcome, especially with all the help we have in today's society), then I'd have to say abortion is better.  I disagree with abortion.  I believe it's murder.  But there's this whole thing that I keep hearing over and over again that adoption creates a situation where the child is made to feel grateful to these people who "saved them" for all eternity.

Have you ever heard about that Eastern custom where if you save someone's life, they are indebted to you for the length of their life, unless they save YOUR life?  Well, that's true.  Did you also know that BECAUSE of this custom, it is not considered an option to save a person's life?  They wouldn't subject their loved ones to a life of subservience to another person - a life of gratefulness.  It is considered a kindness to allow the person to simply die, let their life end where nature intended (because they don't believe in killing, and I'd be willing to bet that abortion falls under that category for them...it's nature's way or no way), rather than to spend the remainder of their life a slave to another person.

Speaking of nature's way...let's go back to this idea of parenting.  What a world this would be if WE westerners lived by this philosophy.  If you get pregnant, that's nature's way of telling you that you're ready to be a parent.  And if you're infertile, it's nature's way of telling you that you get to spend your adult years being the cool Aunt that gives all your Mom-friends a break.  And/or you get to be EVERYONE's God-mom, and if someone is unable to parent, then viola, you get to become the parent you always wanted to be - the ethical way.

Man, I really am a crazy hippie chick, aren't I?  All these weird ideas about "it takes a village" and "Eastern customs".  Enough to drive an entitled PAP wild!

Answer 11

My nephew was adopted so obviously I'm 100% pro adoption. =]

Answer 12

I think that there are so many loving and caring people waiting to adopt a healthy newborn child, that it is very rare for a newborn to go up for adoption and not get adopted. Now days, pregnant women are choosing adoptive families before the child is even born. It's almost like a surrogate. I think it is harder for an older child or teen to get adopted because alot of those who adopt are looking to raise a child their own way, but older children's minds have already been molded, to a degree. I think that is where the "horror" stories arise.

Answer 13

How does adoption hurt kids?  All of the adopted kids I've known have lived with very loving families.  I'm sure that some people struggle with issues of abandonment, etc., but everyone has to deal with struggles in their lives.  I'm sure they'd rather be alive.

Answer 14

Adoption doesn't always hurt kids. Sure, there are people here who have chimed in that they have been hurt by adoption, but there are others that have said they are so glad that they are adopted.

Those who dwell on the negatives (I wasn't good enough to keep, I was given away) don't look at the other side of the deal, which is this:

Even though the mother was not able to care for the child, even though she was probably put in a very awkward position, even though it was physically, emotionally and mentally taxing for her, she still loved her baby enough to want for her child to be able to see the light of day. Birthmothers go through a lot of trauma to make sure that you are able to have a chance to live. Don't let the sacrifice that they made for your sake go unnoticed by favoring abortion over adoption.

Choose LIFE. It ROCKS.

Answer 15

I think however a child is separated from his/her mother is going to hurt, weather it's through adoption, abortion, death, emotional separation or any other possible way. It's going to hurt. It's more for some and less for others, some "Get over it" and "move on" (not my words).

My mother relinquished her rights to me when I was 16, and even though I knew it was best, IT STILL HURT. It just seemed so easy for her.

There is no such thing as a guaranteed happy ending, with bio or adoptive homes.

Answer 16

I think adoption because it lets it leave

but if you go with abortion then theres another person in this over populated world.......

but im up for adoption

Answer 17

As much as I detest abortion, I'd never talk another woman out of having one unless I was in a position to parent her child. I am now, but back when the incident I'm referring to happened, I wasn't.  She "raised" the baby, but made many poor choices. He had the potential to be much more than "T's little brother." (big brother "T" is 20, has fathered several children, and the last I heard was in jail for being involved in a shooting)

Oh... and my adopted son has regular visitation with his bio grandparents and aunt. Bio parents are still incarcerated for the reason they lost custody of him.  If and when they return to their home state, they will also have supervised visitation.

Answer 18

i think people should parent their kid!

Answer 19

Hmmm.... grief issues that will have to be dealt with or death.  Hmmm...again...I choose issues that must be dealt with over having the child killed.

I think that the child being given a chance at life is a much happier ending than the child being killed.

Look at all the people who have been adopted and have gone on to make the world a better place because of the strength they got from their situation!  There should be more Dave Thomas' in the world, just for one example!

Answer 20

After I relinquished my son I vowed I would never loose another child in such an inhumane and brutal way.

I chose abortion twice, for very different reasons each time. If I found myself in a crisis pregnancy and didn't want to be PREGNANT or GIVE BIRTH I would choose it again. If I found myself in a crisis pregnancy and wanted carry and deliver the child I would parent. no.matter.what.

I have seen what adoption can do to a person and I refuse to force another child through that. That being said, I would never choose abortion (and never have) to avoid parenting, I have chosen it to avoid pregnancy. I detest being pregnant and have no desire to go through it again but given a supportive partner who would be able to love and nurture his child I would gladly put aside my desires and parent alongside him, regardless of our relationship status.

There are no guarantees in this world unless you are the one playing the game. Once that child is out in the world without you there is zero certainty as to how that child fares. The ONLY way to ensure that your children are brought up how you want them to be is to put on your big girl panties and do it yourself, no matter how hard it may be.

Answer 21

Really?

Huh, when someone mentions adoption, I jump in with abortion!

Answer 22

As a family who had our hearts ripped out during the cruel baby scoop era, our mantra is "PARENTING instead of adoption.  Can't parent?  Anything is better than the scourge of adoption!"

Ditto Idependant - "Abortion you will never see your child, Adoption in the US you will never see your child."  Very eloquent - Open adoption is the new lie that replaces throwing a blanket over the head of a "preggo" and driving her off to the local house of shame to have her baby emotionally aborted.

Answer 23

Hey, Gaia, when you open your commune be sure to e-mail me directions!!!

What she said! Ditto for Grapesgum & Independent!

Answer 24

Either one is very hard, but what's worse: life or death?

That's pretty much the answer.