Adoption laws and they way it works for the birth father if mothers wants her husband to adopt the child?

Question

i dont see the child at all and when i do the mother and i fight and she asked me if she could do it as her husband has been around since she was pregnant and the child calls him dad and not me i live interstate what should i do???

Answer 1

If you do not plan to be in your child's life and you know that this man will and you never again want contact with this child prior to his or her 18th birthday, go for it.

Answer 2

Well as far as the Laws go it varies from state to state as far as I know so I would definatlly consult an attorney.

I wish that my ex-husband would sign over his rights so that my husband could adopt my son. He hasn't spoken to him in 2 years and  they actually made contact in the mall last fathers day when we went as a family. They looked right at each other and he walked right by our son and didn't say two words to him and we haven't seen him since.

I know on your part (and it doesn't sound like your a bad guy) it's a tough decision but I aplaud you for taking the time to consider what is best for the child. If the stepfather is the one that they call Dad and he's been there from the get go, I'd let  it go and allow them to seal the family deal.

In our situation, my ex has come and gone as he's pleased. It's really messed with our son and it's almost put a wedge in between him and my husband who has loved him and been there as a stable part of his life since he was three. It really put a damper on thier relationship. He's 12 now almost 13 and without his father around for the last 2 years, My husband and my son have become alot closer. Good Luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 3

You should go to court and demand visitation.  Some women deliberately pick fights because they want you to go away like a bad penny. However, you are under no obligation to allow her husband to adopt.  

I knew a guy whose wife was constantly hassling him to allow her husband to adopt the son.  The son told him he was so glad he didn't allow it and at 12, was able to move in with his father because the courts allowed him to choose.

Answer 4

You have answered your own question when you said " I don't see the child" Even if the mother wants to start a fight have the pick up set up at the police station that way it would be best for the child. It also sound like you don't spend much time with your child and that is no fault of the mother or the child.

   Look if your not going to be in the child's life walk away. It's not fair to the child to have a less than part time father. My son has his daughter like most men 2 to 3 weekends a month but at any time the mother calls and says his daughter is sick and can't go to school or that she needs him because she has to work or she just wants him to get his daughter he drops everything a goes gets his daughter. That's what father's do. And believe me this mother has put him through h**l and back but he doesn't let that effect his life with their daughter.  Good luck but it seems like you want to move on anyways. Do what's best for the child.

Answer 5

Register your interest in the child as the father anywhere you can.  Your State may have a putative fathers registry.

My friends' ex shut him out and moved away.  He lost his child this way.  It's not right.  If someone is going to adopt your child, they should need your permission.

Unfortunately people are willing to lie and get around it somehow.   I think there are about five cases that I know of right now where father's rights have been abrogated and their child adopted without their consent

ETA  If a child is going to be adopted I think they have to put out a public legal notice to that effect to give the father a chance to come forward

If you are happy to have her man adopt your child, then you sign.   I hope you will be there for your child though, with any answers he or she wants or needs (especially family medical history, so important)

Answer 6

First of all, she can't do anything unless you sign your rights away.  The only way that this man can adopt the child would be if you consented to it.  

I have never heard of any judge allowing a mother to pick a new dad.  If you are on the birth certificate she is kind of stuck with you.  

If you are on the child's birth certificate, and paying child support, you can fight her for your visitation rights.

If it's not a big deal to you, then sign the papers.  If someone is willing to be a dad, and you feel that all the fighting and time in court is a waste of time, then I would say give the kid a chance to have a daddy.  

But always remember, that you are the kid's dad.  So right now the child does have a father.  It is up to you to fight for the kid, or not.

Answer 7

If you never see the child and never plan on it then I say it is for the best for the child.

You only need to sign over your rights to the child and they will proceed with the adoption process.