Adoption of a four or five year old child?

Question

Has anyone adopted a four or five year old american child before. Were there any problems, such as behavior. How long did it take to adopt. Should we be foster parents first. How much did the adoption cost?

Answer 1

My husband and I adopted a 6 year old.  We did the foster care and if you do it through foster care then they help you with anything the child needs.  Such as counseling and, what not.  It took 2 years before it was all said and done.  It took about a year for him to settle and know that we were his forever family and we were not going to leave him.  But, it was the best thing we ever did.....Good luck BTW---he is now 13 and, we have not had to deal with a lot of things as far as emotional or anything else.  He is a normal kid/teenager we love with all our heart....

Answer 2

My little brother was adopted at 4 years old, after having been with us since 6 months of age as a foster parent. I don't know how much it cost, but there were a lot of problems with his birth mom. Now, 20 years later, he still has issues with that and wants to find her. He remembers her and wants answers.

Answer 3

While I have not adopted a child of that age, I would suggest contacting your local social service agency to look into foster/adopt programs that are available.  They would be able to provide you with the best information.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

There is considerable variance. My relative adopted an 7 year old last year.  She is a typical 8 year old now with no behavioral problems that I've noticed.   Due to her heart condition, many couples passed her by (over 90).  My relatives adored her.  They had already been through a home study before meeting her.  They were not foster parents.  Their total cost was about $600 for some fees and part of the home study.  The state will continue her medical care until after the heart surgery and rehabilitation.  The adoption was final in late Sept., so the whole process was just over a year.

Due to the rarity of foster parents able to care for such a sick infant, she lucked out and had some very good foster parents (3 different couples).

Answer 5

I adopted my sons at 5 and 6 yrs old.  I have had them since they were 3 and 4 via fostering.  

There are many issues that we have with their behavior but everyday it gets a little better and better.  

My oldest son has Oppositional Defiance Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder.  We struggle with that, but we have figured out how to work around it.  

My younger son is learning disabled probably stemming from exposure to drugs in utero.  

Both of them light up my world and now that they have been with us for so long, we don't see the behaviors as often.  Mostly new people whom they do not trust are the ones who experience them.  The biggest thing that I have to remind them of constantly is that no matter how angry they make me, I am still going to love them.  That statement goes a LONG way with these kinds of kids.  Then of course you have to show them through your actions that you are telling the truth.

The behaviors kind of have an ebb and flow to them.  We go for months having perfectly "normal" (for lack of a better word) little boys, to one day it slaps you in the face that they are not "normal" because of the abuse and neglect that they have experienced.  You work through those days, and the next they are happy go lucky again.

Answer 6

There will always be challenges with any baby your or one that is adopted.

How long it will take depends on how fast the courts or a private adoption agency  works.The cost will depend on where you go. Yes try foster parenting . But you must love kid.There are behavioral problems in families that are with the biological family. PARENTING ISN'T FOR EVERONE. We can see that just  by looking at the amount of babies and children in the system.The abuse and neglect the killing and mishandling.

Answer 7

If there was any abuse the child WILL have emotional problems.  I was abused plus I was a foster parent for many years.  Make sure you are prepared for the problems, do not rush into adoption.  Remember that when the child comes there is usually about a year honeymoon period.  If you adopt out of DHS in some cases you will receive money until the child is 18. There was no cost for me when I entered the adoption procedure with one of my foster children.