Adoption of older child who speaks a foreign language, how do you overcome this obstacle?

Question

My wife and I have been in the process of adopting a little girl from China for the past three years. We originally requested a healthy little girl up to one-year-old. We have since then found and fell in love with a little girl who is now 5 and has special needs. We think we can handle the special needs just fine, but we are worried due to the fact that she is 5, she will not speak a word of English, and we do not speak Chinese, so communications will be an issue. Have any of you adopted an older child who does not speak English, and if so how did it work out, did the child adjust reasonably well? How did you communicate?

Answer 1

Why don't you adopt U.S. Citizen older children?  Why must  people look outside the USA instead of taking care of our own?  We have many deserving young orphans who need homes and you wouldn't have to worry about not knowing their language.    More importantly, there are special needs children in the USA who need good homes.  Why not take care of our own?  I'm so sick and tired of all these do-gooders picketing out in front of the abortion clinics and planned parenthood clinics but I don't see any of them opening their arms and their doors to ensure that we have no orphans in the USA and that no U.S. born children are lacking for homes.  Take care of our own first!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I haven't adopted such a child, but I have been a kindergarten teacher and had children in my class who did not speak English when they entered. Children are amazingly fast learners. They don't know it's hard to learn another language and by immersing themselves in a class of English-speaking children, they all learned English FAST. By the end of the first week, they knew many, many nouns and phrases. They learned by watching and listening. When you bring the child home, start by pointing to yourselves and saying "Mama"; "Pappa" (or whatever you will be called). Call each other that, too, for awhile. Use sign language and English together. "bedtime" (lay down with the child). "Dinner time" (put food on the table and sit down together. The child will learn very fast. Most public schools have special classes for children who do not speak English, too. Make sure your school does. Best wishes.

Answer 3

You need a Chinese teacher for you and your husband and you can study ESL (English as a second language) at home and teach her English.. Please learn Chinese for her sake she may want to return to China one day and speak with family and she will not be able to do this if you do not speak Chinese at home with her some..

Answer 4

My friend Anne was adopted from China at 5 years old.  She joined my Kindergarten class not knowing a word of English.  Within 2 years, she was near fluent.  Don't worry!  Children absorb languages so easily.  A young child can easily handle 3 or 4 languages... so 2 won't be a problem.  Anne is now in college and was the valedictorian of her high school.

Answer 5

u either learn her language or she learns yours.

Answer 6

Hold her. Give her lots of reassurance by the way you look at her and by holding her and by being kind and patient. Kids her age are incredibly resilient and adaptable and you will be amazed at how much of an issue the language is NOT. She will pick up the language VERY quickly. You would do well to have yourself introduced to her and make it clear with an interpreter that you do not speak Chinese. Be sure she is told that you do not speak Chinese but that you will love her and take care of her and give her everything she needs to feel safe and loved and you will be her mom and dad and her family forever. Get some books. Get lots of simple books. Read to her A LOT. Read to her every day several times a day. Read the same books to her over and over. Be sure you ahve lots of books for her to look at and to choose from and for you to read to her but, let her choose and let her read the same one(s) over and over if she wants to. Create an environment for her where she will be with other children, her age and older and younger. Don't sit her in front of the tv and expect her to entertain herself or learn taht way. Interact with her and talk with her as much as possible. Talk with her in a mature sounding tone of voice but explain things to her like you would with a younger child. She will learn incredibly quickly and in a matter of just a few weeks you will be communicating fine verbally. Have someone on call who can speak her language just in case there is an emergency and she really needs to make what she needs clear. Otherwise just let a few weeks go by while you speak to her often and easily and just watch her learn the language. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 7

We recently adopted an 8 year old boy from Jiangsu China. He still does not know much english but he is getting better and better. I am not fluent in mandarin however I can get by in simple conversations. I am so thankful for the amount of mandarin I do know! I wouldn't say its absolutely essential for you to learn it, as the woman who adopted my son's best friend speaks no mandarin and they are doing okay. But, my son has told my chinese friends that he appreciates that I can speak with him, and understand him (usually). It is more fair, in my opinion, for us to have to make some adjustments ourselves instead of asking our children to do it all. Sure its easier on us if our kids have to do all of the learning, but is it right?

If you want to learn mandarin, and I hope you will at least try to learn some, its not as hard as you think. I have used Pimsleur (great but pricy and you dont' get a huge vocab, but its worth it in my opinion), Fluenz (also pricy but very good), Rosetta Stone (not great by itself, better along with another program) and various books. If you can afford it, take some chinese classes at your local college or chinese community center, or if you can, hire a private tutor.

I wouldn't trade being able to talk to my son for anything. I don't think you would regret it either.

Zai Jian

Answer 8

There was a recent question on here dealing with the same issue. I think there were some good responses. Here's a link to the question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

For what it's worth (and you'll see my answer at the other thread, too), the child will likely learn fast, but it would certainly help ease her transition if you learned at least *some* Mandarin or Cantonese (whichever she speaks.)

Answer 9

Although there are some good answers here only one touches on the topic of your child's future and her feelings in regard to adoption... It is very important that you learn whatever language it is that speaks, as well as much about her culture as possible..food, holidays, especially the immediate area where you daughter was born. These things will make such as huge impact on your daughter as an adult when she decides she wants to return to China and look for family or just know where she came from.

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I am a mom to a three year old biological daughter. We are bilingual at home and at 3 years old she speaks perfect English and Spanish. Also I was an Au-pair in Canada to a German 8 years old boy who had just arrived to Canada less than a year and could not speak a word of English at first (I spoke German) eight months later he didn't even had an accent when speaking English. My sister who lives in California and her husband spoke Spanish exclusively to my niece, she became bilingual as soon as she entered kinder garden at the age of three not having had contact with the English language before. The director of my daycare center has adopted two little girls from China,also with disabilities and they were non verbal when they came to the US because of the severe neglect they were exposed to back in China. Now they are amazing little girls who speak and understand perfect English. All you have to do is love her a lot and speak to her as much as you can. Slowly, use lots of images and show her what you are doing and narrate it at the same time. Simple shows on TV will help too. Good luck!

Answer 11

It is not an obstacle it is an opportunity. I learned English at the age of five. I am now trilingual.