Adoption of younger sister's premature baby.?

Question

My sister is 18 and had her baby 3 months early. She is incredibly irresponsible, and is currently staying high on pot all the time. She doesn't go to see the baby... less than once a week. She is also very slow to fill out paperwork and forms and the hospital is getting fed up with her.

My mom and I have always talked about me possibly adopting my sister's son, I will be 21 in a few days. I am also g*y, have a boyfriend I've been with over 2 years, have a job I've had since 16, and just signed a new lease in a two bedroom apartment here in arkansas where my boyfriend and myself live together. My mom would love to adopt the boy, but she's 42 and is ready for her own life having finished raising two kids. I was wanting advice... I don't think my sister will take care of him, so I'd like to take over, my mom will help of course. What do you guys think my chances are of adopting under the circumstances? What steps do I take to get custody of the baby?

Answer 1

I sounds like what you really want to do is be a foster parent. That way your sister would retain parental rights and you would be legal guardian. My parents adopted my father's nephew (67 years ago!!) and the family never forgave them for taking him away from their sister, altho she was grateful that they did. Just be sure that you are open to her interfering whenever she feels like it. If you do adopt, be sure she agrees to stay out of the child's life and leave parenting to you.

A friend of ours gave her baby to a cousin, so she sees her fairly often, but the child thinks she's an aunt.

Answer 2

Talk to your sis.

Don't try to take her baby away from her.

If she doesn't mind go for it, other wise just look out for her and the baby.

Are you sure she will be a bad mother?

Answer 3

First, talk to your sister and see what she thinks.  In the end, it's her choice or, you end up in a battle after having to have him removed from her care, etc.  Look into Arkansas law regarding adoption of family members and since you are g*y, into homosexual adoption laws (if any, to be sure).

With pre-term babies you are looking a pretty hard road.  There could be complications that won't be seen until a few years into the future.  At least being his biological uncle you will have 1/2 of the family medical history he will...that make it much easier when dealing with doctors.  It's truly a strong person who will take on a child of premature birth.

Once you have spoken with her, if she agrees, you will probably need to hire a lawyer who specializes in adoption in order to follow the court guidelines.  I attached a link with lawyers listed by town.  Good luck!

Answer 4

go for it.  I would, my brother has 2 children and when his 3 year old little girl was born i had custody of her, they finally got their acts together. They may not be raising her as well as i could have but its their child. And if your sister is how she say she is, then you should bring it up to her, if she doesn't wanna give up her child then you your gonna have to take it to CPS and keep the child in your home as a foster until your sisters time to get her act together if she doesn't make an effort before her allowed time expires the you can gain full custody. I'm not sure how it works in Arkansas but her in California they only get 6 months to get their act together before they lose their rights

Answer 5

I think this is a very good sistuation for this child to be in.Your sister an can sing him over to you via coustody agreement.You shuld contact a family attorny to do all the adoption but for amedant medicaly care of the child simply go to the court house get the forms fill em out and file theim set court date will be fast if you request an emergcy hearing.He can be in ou costody with in 2 weeks.Gardenship is also an option.Contact a family attorny to get the legail facts.Do this before the hosp contact childrens devishion!It will be harder if they are involved.

Answer 6

I don't think you should have any problems adopting your sister's son, as long as she willingly signs over her rights to you.

I have a good friend who is g*y, he and his partner adopted a little boy from a friend four years ago.  Totally legal, no problems what so ever and they have one happy, well adjusted, wonderful son.

Answer 7

Yes, if this is for real your sister can sign over parental rights to you! And as for g*y adoptions..kids can be very happy and grow up fine, but I really think your posting is a joke..and you should go back to school, on the off chance this is real e-mail me and I can tell you you to do this legally..

On the other hand if this is a slam against Arkansas and g**s you really need a life!

Answer 8

If your sister is High and doesn't have much to do with the baby, as much as it sounds sneaky, have her sign over "Guardianship" papers to you.  That way you have a say in the care your nephew is getting.  This has nothing to with whether you are g*y or not.  This has to do with the best interest of the child.  When it comes time for the baby to be released (sneaky again, I know), but suggest to your sister to let you take the baby home with you.  In our State the mother only needs to be out of the babies life for 6 months before you can file for adoption on the grounds of abandonment.  Also, document, document, document.  Your sister's indifference to the care and welfare of her child needs to be written down no matter how untasteful it might seem to you.  You are building a "case" against your sister having this child.  Expect a split between you two, but you are looking out for this child's welfare and your sister is suppose to be a grown-up, so she can take care of herself.  If you get Social Servies involved, they might support your case for adoption and help you with your court petitions to gain the child for adoption.  But BEWARE Social Services has been known to talk out of both sides of it's mouth.  Step lightly.

I only give you this advise as my husband and I adopted our grand-daughter from an irresponsbile parent.  It is a long road, but well worth the effort when you are able to enjoy and share in a well adjusted child that you helped to recreate (in a way).

Answer 9

I am very excited for you! I think you will have to adopt the baby by yourself first and then your boyfriend can adopt the baby also once you have already done so. (Like Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have done because one of the countries' they adopted a child from doesn't allow unwed couples to adopt.)

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

Well I hate to say it but unltimately it is up too your sister if she wants yyou to rasie himt hat great but if not you cant forse her giving up a child ( even if you can see them) is heart breaking and  and I am sur eyou love your sister and wouldnt want to forse her to do something she would regret ... but if she agree I think it is great and if you cant leglly adopted him for any reason perhaps you and your boyfriend coul just raise him.

Answer 11

I think that from the sounds of it, the baby would be much better off with you. I placed my son for adoption 2 1/2 years ago because I was only 17 and could not care for him the way I knew he should be cared for. I hope that your sister will be responsible enough to see that and allow you to adopt her son. good luck to you.

Xotchil

Answer 12

If you really want to adopt this baby -- do!  Your chances are great.  Because you are the baby's family.  Your sister can sign a voluntary relinquishment, or you have try to have her rights terminated.

Depending on your state, you may need to get an adoption homestudy.  Contact an attorney and get some free advice from the paralegal or legal secretary of an adoption attorney first.

Then go for it, Poppa!  But don't let her waltz in and out of the child's life.  If you become the baby's father, you are the father forever.  That what is right for the baby!  

Also, make sure to talk with the docs at the hospital -- this baby could be VERY special needs, requiring a lifetime of special care.

Good luck!