Adoption please give me your opinion?

Question

i have been trying to conceive since last 7 years. had two miscarraige( one was autopic pregnancy). now i am thinking of adoption. but i am a bit reluctant about it. should i go for it?my family has some reservation about it.my husband is very supportive.

Answer 1

I'm very sorry to hear about your losses.  Miscarriages can be very devestating.  Before you begin the adoption process (if you choose to begin it at all) please be sure you have reconciled your infertility grief.  Adoption does not cure infertility and these two things do need to be separated.

I recommend doing a lot of research on adoption: domestic, international and foster adoption.  There are different avenues toward adoption, each with their benefits and drawbacks.  I suggest looking into each option very carefully and determine which, if any, is right for your family.  

Read books about the process, about parenting adopted children and from as many different perspectives as possible.  Talk to adult adoptees, adoptive parents, adoption agencies, social workers, etc.  Get as much information as possible, then make an informed decision.  

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I can only answer from my stand point- GO FOR IT-  I am both an adoptee and an adoptive parent of 2 precious children, who are now 16 and 19.  Why are you reluctant? Is it because of your family members are.  The child that you will adopt will be the child that you are supposed to raise- I know that many people do not agree with me, and that is ok, but I can tell you nothing is a mistake.  If you want to talk and and can email me, please do.

and of course, I am very sorry to hear about your losses.

Answer 3

I think adoption is great idea.  We need to take care of the children inour country.  There is some downsides to adoption.  The mother may decide at the last minute she wants the child.  Are you thinking about adopting a new born or an older child.  Either way i think adoption is great.  If your ready to be a mom i say go for it.

Answer 4

good. go ahead. no second thought.

consider only the age of the child & yours and have health record of the child.

try at regoganized orpanage to avoid legal issues later.

all the best.

Answer 5

yes you should alot of kids need a home and a family to love them

Answer 6

I think first you need to now why you are reluctnat to do so. Are you scared? Do you want your own "blood"? Are you scared the birthmom will take the baby back? Do research talk to people who have adopted and see how you feel after that. Good news is your husband is supportive.

Answer 7

dear felt sorry after hearing u but dear friend u should not loose ur hope. wht is ur age right now if u can try for next then go a better doctor sometimes it takes long time to concieve. few of my beloved concieved after a long period after their marriage. so take a last chance. if u want i will give address of the doctor which is resident of middle india.

and after trying this last chance then also if u cannot concieve so pls go for adoption, bcoz u will feel happyness after that and also u r going to create future of the adopted child either baba/ baby. ur husband is also supportive that is good.

so good luck to u both

Answer 8

i think its a beautiful process but just birthing children you never know exactly what your getting yourself into.

Answer 9

I'm sorry for your troubles conceiving.  I'm sure that's been difficult.

It sounds like you are still unsure about adoption.  Let me suggest a couple of things.  

First, be sure you've properly mourned your own difficulties with conception.  That is a loss that adoption cannot heal.  For your sake, and the sake of any child you adopt, you need to mourn that loss.

Second, read up on adoption in order to decide whether you should pursue that path.  Here are some suggested books to get you started:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Depending on whether you look at adopting in your own country or adopting from a foreign country it can take several years to be approved and have a child found for you.

I'm sorry to hear that you havent been successful in concieving. My thoughts are that if you want children and hubby is supportive, then research adoption. You'll then know if it is something you are interested in and you can help give a deserving child a home. You never know, you may concieve naturally anyway.

Your family may have reservations, but it is ultimately your choice and your hubby's choice.

Answer 11

If your husband is on board for adoption that is great and my cousin ended up adopting after 10 years of trying and she is so happy she did.  She adopted a little boy and now they are waiting for the adoption to be finalized on their little girl.

Answer 12

Adoption is a wonderful idea!! MIllions of kids need loving homes. If, both, you and your husband are in agreement you should at least look into it.

Answer 13

since you have been trying all that time you should ago haed and try out adoption a baby. and your family might dont like it but thats the only way for you to have a baby. they wiil get over it in the long run

Answer 14

It depends upon what your reservations are. I agree with everyone else who has stated that you need to have mourned your lost babies. I have had one miscarriage and bore one girl who later died in infancy. I have one almost 20 year old girl. I was adopted, as was my sister. My adoptive parents were not good ones, unfortunately and I am searching for my birth mother.

You need to consider what kind of adoption you want. Many more adoptions are "open" now and I like that. As an adoptee, I feel like a huge part of me is missing, especially my medical information. I was told I have Diabetes in my maternal history, but that's all. I'd like to know about Breast Cancer, Obesity, Mental Illness, etc. I know I'm English, Irish and Dutch, but what else am I? I can really see the Irish in me, though!

I hope that whatever you decide, it will be done in love, and without any reservation. If you have any doubts, please don't do it.

Joy

Answer 15

First you should greive for the children you have lost. A new baby will not replace them in any way. Once you have fully greived, then look at adoption again. If it feels right and if you and your husband have both weighed all of the options and issues....then go for it if you both still feel the same way. Much of my family had reservations....but upon meeting our child, they quickly fell in love. That may not be the case for your family....and adoption is always a tricky subject....but the point is that both you and your husband need to be on the same page and a united front for the safety and well-being of any child you welcome into your family. This isn't a question we can answer for you.....we don't know you or your heart....but YOU do and you will know when/if adoption is right for your family.

Answer 16

neha dear,

u have a lifetime support from ur husband.

then why are u confused?

go for adoption but don't forget to take care of that child as ur own even from outside world.

take care

god bless