Adoption process for weird situation....?

Question

A friend of mine's nephew is 13 yrs old and doesnt have any family. His mother died when he was younger and his father has been sent to jail for a 5 year term. He doesnt have any family that wants him because he tends to get in trouble. I love him and care for him like he is my own and he already looks up to me like a mother. I have thought about possibly adopting him as my own to give him a stable and loving family; but Im not sure what the process would be since his father is in jail and his mother is dead. I know that I would have to have legal permission from his father, but I dont think that would be a problem. Does anyone have any information to better help me to see what I need to do to get started?

Answer 1

The permission from the father is all you need but even if he wouldn't agree to it the courts are likely to find him unfit and take away his legal rights.  You can get a family attorney that handles adoptions and they will get the paperwork started for you.

Answer 2

Why not just become his legal guardian?  Adopting changes his identity, and in all but six states, it ends up taking away his right to his own history - which would be pretty ridiculous at his age.  It's not necessary to adopt him.

Answer 3

Has the boy mentioned that he would be open to this? As he is 13, he is certainly capable of making his feelings known. Who has custody of him now? You would have to get the father to agree to terminate his rights and I assume the person with custody would have to agree as well. You will need an adoption attorney. If everyone is in agreement and the adoption goes through, I would still continue to maintain an open arrangement with his family members.

ETA: As you are engaged to the uncle then it would be a relative adoption, which may make things smoother. I would first ensure the dad is onboard. If so, then I would call an adoption attorney ASAP. They will be able to explain the procedure.

Another thought: As your husband is related to the boy, you could avoid the adoption hubaloo entirely and simply take him in, gain legal custody and become his legal guardian. If you became his guardian you would have all the rights and privileges of a parent.

However, if adoption sounds right for this young man, then I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

first off you need to ask the boy if this is what he really wants and tell him if he does you would like too.

If he says yes you would need to ask his father if he would be okay with it and if he says yes ask if he would be willing to sign over his rights.

If he says yes get an adoption lawyer.

Once you get an adoption lawyer they are gonna walk you through everything that needs to be done. So don't worry you will be fine.

Maybe he can go ahead and sign over full custody to you in  before he signs away his rights.

This way he can go ahead and live with you and be on your insurance and you will have all say so over him.

You will probably have to get an adoption lawyer for his dad to. All he will have to do is sign a few papers.

You are gonna need to have a home study.

The lawyer will walk you through everything though.

The fees will probably be around 5,000 to 10,000

I imagine yours will be as cheap as it comes in your state because, it should be pretty simple.

Good luck,

Michelle

Answer 5

his dad killed his mom didnt he

Answer 6

Dear Francesca,

First of all, you sound like a wonderful person. I am so happy that this boy has you in his life. I hope that everything works out well for you both.

I am all for you adopting this boy but was wondering if you had considered permanent guardianship?

At thirteen, this boy is old enought to tell a Judge HIMSELF where he wants to live. You should have no problem with getting a guardianship if the father will give it to you. You can probably get one anyway if that is what the boy wants.

Guardianship will allow the boy to retain his relationship and rights to his father but still give you all the rights of custody, educational and medical decision making etc.  Guardianship is inexpensive (around $200) and can be done without a Court hearing in most states. (Adoption is far more time consuming, more costly, involves a ton more paperwork, requires Court hearings and makes this boy a legal stanger to his original parents - including his deceased mother. :( ) It also will allow you to collect SS benefits and child support on his behalf. (He will not get SS benefits from his mother's death if you adopt him.)

What ever path you choose to be there for this child, I commend you for opening your heart to a child in need. My hat is off to you. Please accept my warmest and best reguards and good luck to you both.

http://www.guardianship.org/

http://www.childwelfare.gov/permanency/g...