Adoption????

Question

So, I am still contemplating adoption.

I'm 27,have been married for 3 years,and live a very financially stable life.

We have a biological daughter,&would like to expand our family through adoption.Originally, we were going to use Thailand or Vietnam.

I understand that it is more expensive and I would have to aknowlege &address that my child is of a different race &culture (which we would keep her in touch with)than my other daughter.I'm not nieve to this

I've discussed it with my husband and he's for it. We also decided(for very personal reasons) that we'd like to adopt a girl. It isn't that we wouldn't love a son or that daughter wouldn't like it (because I know she'd just love a sibling regardless). It's something else. Anyways, I was wondering what adoption programs allow you to request one gender over the other. We are considering both domestic& international adoption(please don't promote 1 or the other). I just need the names of countries and programs that allow you this.

Answer 1

So, do you want fries with that?

Answer 2

I did 2 domestic infant adoptions through agencies and although I chose not to do it, they did let me know that we would be able to pick a gender if we wished to do so.  You would only allow your profile to be viewed by mothers expecting girls.  If you have any other questions I can help with feel free to send me an email.

Answer 3

You can request gender and special needs that you're ok with (including age) when you adopt through the foster system.  You can also through many countries if you decide to go with international adoption.  We adopted from Colombia, South America, & we could request gender.  China has many more girls available for adoption than boys, so that might be something to look at, but the wait is very long!  Go to the State Department's website (http://www.travel.state.gov/family/adopt... and do some reasearch into what countries might be of interest in pursuing.

Answer 4

Overall, there is a much greater tendency for adoptive parents to request girls over boys.  There's some question as to why this is.  I've heard a few theories.  

But to answer your question, most IA programs allow the adoptive parents to request gender.  A few do not.  (India, I think, comes to mind).  

So unless you choose an IA program like China, which is nearly exclusively adopts girls, you will likely have a longer wait for a referral than if you are open to either gender.

As far as domestic infant adoption goes, generally there is little to no choice in gender as many times an adoptive match is made pre-birth.  Yes, there may be ultrasound results, but that's no guarantee.  

I believe you can indicate a gender preference in foster care adoption, but I'm not sure.  I'll let some of the foster-adopt parents answer that one.



As adoptive parents, we wrestled with this one, the ethics of choosing a gender.  In the end, we decided we were open to a sibling group of 2-3 children, any gender combination.  Our referral came with a sister/brother sibling group.  

Best of luck.

Answer 5

You can select the gender of a child with most countries including our own.  Your wait time will increase if you are girl-specific in most instances (such as U.S. adoption), but it is doable.    Would you consider a waiting child?  Check out some sites like www.rainbowkids.com or www.precious.org.   They list kids from various countries who need homes plus the country requirements to adopt.

Answer 6

Well, I was adopted from China, since my parents wanted two girls and two boys. It's practically a guarantee that if you go to China you will get a girl. You could also go to Gautemala, but the chances are about 50/50 over there.

Here's the adoption agency I was from. :)

http://www.losninos.org/

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

Domestic agencies will normally only let you choose gender in the minority programs. (We were doing girl only too). However, ultrasounds determining s*x are not 100%. If that child is born a boy what would you do? If you didn't take it, the mother would be devistated. That is why most places do not allow s*x selective couples as some have refused the baby. Also, if you do refuse, you loose any money you put into it. The minority (AA) programs allow it because they need all the families they can get to show.

  Ukraine will let you choose a girl. Haiti, Bulgaria, and China will let you choose girls as well. China is taking  5+ years right now. Haiti takes 18 months on average. Bulgaria and Ukraine do more toddlers. Thailand does mostly over 3 as well so I mentioned these other countries because I am guessing you are OK with older because you are considering Thailand.

India and Nepal don't really let you choose. It is common for India to prefer you adopt the opposite gender of the child you have at home. Ukraine and Kazakhstan both require you to travel and choose your child, spend 2 weeks with your chosen child before you can apply to adopt that child. You may choose either gender. Russia lets you choose as well but the wait is longer for a girl. So, in short, you have a lot to choose from. I do believe Ethiopia has girls available as well in toddlers but often not infants. You would have to double check on that though. Good luck!