Adoption ?

Question

Has anyone here ever adopted a child?

If so, I have a few questions, if that OK

Did you adopt because you were unable to have children or just because you wanted to help disadvantaged kids?

If you adopted the child young, are you very open with the fact you're not their biological mother/father (not just the child, but also society)?

If you have adopted children and biological children, would you say one was more rewarding than the other?

Finally, has your adopted child ever had problems at school about it, such as bullying?

Thanks alot for your time

Answer 1

1. We adopted children because we wanted to provide a home for children that needed one as well as be parents to more children.  We do have infertility issues, but it's classified as idiopathic secondary infertility.  Meaning we have one biological child (my husband and I were teen parents) but for an unknown reason, we are unable to have more.

2. Our children were school age when we adopted them.  They are also of a different race and national origin as we, so yeah, not like it's a big secret

3. Both were rewarding.  Both were incredible, life-changing experiences.  I can't place one experience over the other, but I am very grateful to have had both of them.

4.  Not really.  There are lots of foster and adoptive families (transracial as well as international) at our children's school.  Some of the very young children seemed to puzzle it out when a couple of white adults come pick up some very dark African kids from school, but that's perfectly normal.  Overall, their school has been very supportive.  

Thanks for asking.

Answer 2

My parents were unable to have children-she had a historectomy.

They are open if I tell people I'm adopted, otherwise they never mention it even if people say "Oh, you look just like your mother" etc.

They've only adopted.

Yes, I have had tons of problems at school-no social skills, never had many friends, really clingy to people that I am friends with etc.

Answer 3

My son was adopted. He was born 12/21/07. He is the best thing that has ever happened to us. We adopted due to some health complications that would severely impact a pregnancy. He is happy, healthy, and thriving! He is my son and everyone I know sees it that way and is very accepting. I believe that it is how you raise them that affects how they feel about themselves and how comfortable they are with who they are. He is not old enough for school so I can't answer the last question but I can tell you this. I couldn't love a child more than I love him even if they were mine biologically. I guess it just depends on how you feel!

Answer 4

i have not myself but i am adopted and it is be cos my parents couldn't have children. i was adopted when i was very young cos my bio mother wasn't looking after me and i became ill very in fact and i had to have a operation.

my parents know I'm not biologically related to them obviously, but except it, they have raised me as i was there own with no big problems. you have the same bond between parents and son/daughter if you adopt young and tell them the truth. i was bullied about 2 years back wasn't great but it didn't last for long and it was just silly nothing i took any notice of. and you always have to tell the child they are adopted IE the truth otherwise when they get older things get a bit messy and its allot better and made it allot more easy in my parents view, and i am glad i was told the truth from a very early age.

any more questions just pop me an email.

hope this helped.

Answer 5

Yes, we adopted a 13 year Colombian girl in 2006.

Did you adopt because you were unable to have children or just because you wanted to help disadvantaged kids? Neither - we met the girl, really liked her and she really liked us, and still does.

We have two bio, two adopted - love them all a lot, though each one is very different.

The only problems at school were racist school administrators - who tried to steer our child to a low-performing school in the barrio so "she would feel more comfortable" [spew!] or

- were very upset because I wouldn't apply for free breakfast/lunches "because all the Spanish speaking kids do" [gag]

Answer 6

Did you adopt because you were unable to have children or just because you wanted to help disadvantaged kids? We tried to have children and couldn't. Unhappy with some of the things that were going on in private adoption (the first route we chose), we adopted through foster care in California.

If you adopted the child young, are you very open with the fact you're not their biological mother/father (not just the child, but also society)? Our son was adopted at age 2-1/2. He had been in foster care since birth. We were and have always been open with him about his adoption. It's none of "society's" business, quite honestly. I don't tell people "This is my son. He was adopted," just like I wouldn't say, "This is my friend. He's g*y" or "This is my mother. She's 61." The fact that my son was adopted is not shameful, but it is not the most important thing about him. He's smart, funny, hyperactive, loving, and he loves to make up math problems. His adoption story is his own; it's not my story to share with others.

If you have adopted children and biological children, would you say one was more rewarding than the other? I have one child so I can't answer this one.

Finally, has your adopted child ever had problems at school about it, such as bullying? Nope. Like I said, adoption is not the defining characteristic of my son. However, we don't hide the fact either. For example, my son had to do a timeline of his life in school earlier this year. (He's 7.) He had to list something significant that happened each year in his life thus far. For 2005, we listed "I was adopted" and included a picture of our family on Adoption Day. My son's teacher approached me a week or so after the assignment was turned in and said, "I had no idea *S* was adopted!" I just said, "Yep. He was!" and that was the end of it. Maybe there will be issues in the future, maybe not. Kids almost always suffer from some sort of teasing when they're in school, so if adoption is the source for my son being teased, it's certainly something we can and will deal with. It concerns me a lot less than one of his classmates bringing a gun or drugs to school.

Answer 7

Did you adopt because you were unable to have children or just because you wanted to help disadvantaged kids? they were unable to have kids. My mother had a fetility problem.

If you adopted the child young, are you very open with the fact you're not their biological mother/father (not just the child, but also society)? The agency they went through stressed the idea that to tell me as a child I was adopted and special. So from the get-go they had to accept it that they were not my biological mother/father (though as ive rgown and become happy and proud of the fact im adopted my father is relucant to see it which bothers me)

If you have adopted children and biological children, would you say one was more rewarding than the other? Parnets couldnt have so wouldnt know. I would say in furturecase no, though many say adopted kids are usually more special i dont feel this is the case. Both are euqally the same.

Finally, has your adopted child ever had problems at school about it, such as bullying? No, people were more shocked as my parents dont have prominet features that make sme stand out from them, though small things like our eyes could of never come out how mine did. Blue and green I have brown.

Answer 8

We cannot have children.  We had not considered adoption seriously until we were approached by a family who was looking to make an adoption plan for their child and asked if we would be interested in becoming his parents.

We brought our son home at the age of six months (actually it was five years ago today!).  We have always been open with him regarding his adoption and that he lived with his bio grandparents prior to living with us, etc.  We have a very open relationship with his bio grandparents so it is just natural that we are open about the adoption with him.  With regards to society, I think that we are open about the adoption when it is pertinent to the conversation.  Do I go around saying "this is my adopted son"?  No.  But if someone asks me about my pregnancy or labor, I explain we adopted.  It is also extremely important with regards to his medical disorder and his medical records - so we tend to be more open with people about his adoption from that sense when necessary.

As with having problems at school, I have to say that my son has three other close friends in his class that were also adopted.  None of them seem to have any issues with bullying or being made fun of.  I'm sure someday it will happen, but I think in general kids are more understanding these days than they were in the past with regards to adoption.  

Hope that helps some.

Answer 9

My husband is adopting my daughter, i know that this isn't what you were asking but he wants her to be legally his child too as he has been in her life since shew was 5 months old, just seems right thing to do now she is almost 6, she knows  him as her daddy and has called him that from 6 months old