Adoption???????

Question

i am 14. i wanna do so much to help babies and kids! i know i am to young to think about this but i want to have two kids of my own and adopt two kids. like how are they when they grow up? do they ask a lot of questions about their real parents? do they take things more seriously? do they run away? do they have problems adjusting to people around them?

what are things to exspect?

Answer 1

I gave my daughter up for adoption, and we have an open adoption.  She knows my husband and I are birth parents, and it has never bothered her.  She is four now and my husband and I have a one year old.  Everything has gone great.  In my research I did before giving her up, I found that closed adoptions do more damage to parents and children.

Answer 2

Just as with any child there are just no guarentees. Any adopted child could be very fine under the worst conditions or absolutely not even with the best parenting. There is just no way to tell form birth nor is their any way to mitigate the negative aspets of adoption through super parenting.

Some ask many questions about their original families and some do not, even if they want to, even if they are encouraged to. Adoptee loyalty issues are very real.

Some take things serioulsy and some are snarky and flippant in regards to their pain.

In general, adoptees are over represnted in bth mental health and prison. There are studies that syupport this and there are sudies that say they do fine.

Many adoptees report that they have issues with intamacy, trust and idenity and then some will say that they don;t think about it.

Some are very angry at their adopted parents, their natural parents or both. Some have great sadness, feel a great loss, hate their birthdays, and don;t know who they are. Some never feel that they fit in with their adopted families and some form intense bonds.

Some have no desire to know their familes of origin, some can't wait to search, some don't begin thinking about it for years until until they are adults and some wait until their adoptive parents die.

Some believe in the pain of the Primal wound and some will call you crazy for beleiving it is real.

Almost all are denied their original birth certificates.

There are no cut in stone answers. What I can tell you is that most people have a rather "happy happy" view of adoption and it's much more complicated than that. I would say that the best wy to understand adoptees and to prepare is to read actual adoptees feelings. They have blogs. They will tell you what you seek. Go to the links below and start reading

And if you really want to help children...then help them stay with their natural mothers...adoption is a huge amount of baggage to settle on an baby if it can be avoid.  Moms who have surrenderd their childrn blog too.. learn. I would bet that you don;t want to take hand in making anyone else feel this way.

Answer 3

You sound like a wonderful young woman with a great heart.  I don't have adopted kids, but I support and admire those who do. I think some adopted kids have problems, but so do some kids raised by their birth parents. I guess on average they are about the same. I did work with one woman who (along with her husband) adopted a group of older siblings who had been abused. She did have a lot of problems. She knew it would be tough going into the adoption because of their background, but she and her husband felt called to do it. This was a special case requiring extra special and dedicated adoptive parents.  I think most children adopted as infants have no more problems than other kids.

Answer 4

Well it all depends on how you deal with it when they are growing up.  You still have a lot of time in life to think about this.  But I was adopted when I was a baby, and don't think of anyone as my parents other than the ones who adopted me.  Of course I have my curiosities... but only to know what my biological parents looked like.  Adoption is a beautiful thing.

Answer 5

When you are married and at least 30 you can worry about this.  I have 3 adopted children, all in their 20's now.  I am their mother and they rarely talk about their birth mothers.  But if they did I would totally support them.