Adoption....?

Question

How old to you legally have to be to adopt? My fiance just turned 20 two days ago and I will be 20 next month. We have a little girl that is 1 yrs. old. We would like to have more kids of our own, but right now we find it would be best if we give a child/baby/toddler a home that doesn't have one before bringing a new child into this world.

Are we old enough? We are finacially stable(I run a sucsefull home daycare, my fiance-marrying in May-is in college and is being a student teacher until he graduates)and can raise another child, no matter what age, we'll even do foster care.

So please help us. If we are old enough, what is the first step? I have never adopted, and neither has he. I have 3 adoptive siblings and he has 1, but our parents adopted so long ago they cannot be much of help. I live in Mystic, Connecicut.

Thanks!

Answer 1

We're adopting through foster care in Oregon, and we had to be married a year.  I'm not sure if they meant we had to be married a year before we could start the process, or before we could be approved.  Call your local DHS office, and see what they say.  Please do LOTS of research into how adoption affects adoptees before starting the process.  Some great books to read:

The Primal Wound

20 Things Adopted Children Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Helping Children Cope With Separation And Loss

I suggest the last one because if you're considering adopting through foster care, the children might have some additional losses to deal with besides their family of origin.  I know you have experience with adoption from your family, but it can't hurt to be even more aware.  Good luck!

Answer 2

I was actually looking this up a few days ago and there are quite a few very specific rules. to adopt a Chinese baby you have to be married for at least 2 years, both partners have to be at least 30 years old, u have to make a certain income, have no criminal record, have no family history of cancer and neither parent can be missing a limb or be in a wheelchair!! there are many more rules besides this, thats just to name a few. I think their expectations are a bit too high. I dont know what the rules are for adopting an American baby.

Answer 3

Do you plan to adopt from the US, if so most agencies require that prospective adoptive parents both be at least 21. Really the age might vary  a little from state to state or agencies.  Typical international adoption sometimes the ages have to be at least 25 sometimes older.

What I would recommend you all do is to really research adoption for a year, look into all the kinds of adoption available (http://adopting.adoption.com/child/what-... )  and pick one that will be right for your family.

Also read literature on adoption, read and listen to peoples experiences who are adopted. The good and the bad, please remember that if you do adopt no one knows where your adopted child will fall on the scale, no one knows how your child will handle being adopted, if they will have major issues about it, or they will be more carefree about it or someone where in the middle. Either way prepare for anything. If you can try and gather as much information on your child’s birth family if you can get it, heritage, medical information, maybe some photos of birth family.  

What ever adoption you decided on research what the criteria is for that state/ country/agency. Once you meet the criteria I think you then apply to adopt and you would have to do a home study, prepare for them to pick away at you, from what I hear they will ask you things that seem like they have nothing to do with adoption. They will question and talk to family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, since you have a home day care  they might even question some of your clients.  They might even have some of these people they talk to  write a short essay. They will probalby question your parenting ways, ask how you discipline your daughter, ask how you yourself were disciplined etc. They will really pry into your life.

Once you are approved sometimes it can take up two years to get a match. However this varies I have read of couples get a match only days after their home study was approved. Sometimes its depends how open you are to a child age, race, siblings groups etc. Also note some places might require you be married for a certain amount of time.

Answer 4

You should try foster care first your definitely old enough for that and depending on the child's situation you might be able to adopt your foster child.

Answer 5

Foster care is good, any child you have whose parents rights  are relinquished, you are allowed first option to adopt. Requirements vary in different states. You can probably find them online. I don't think they are as strict, with the state, as the person looking in China. I have a friend who looked into a Christian agency, and they didn't make enough. He is a pastor.