Adoption question, lots of confusion?

Question

Okay, here's the thing. Back in 2005 I was seeing a guy, we had a broken condom and I got pregnant. When I was 6 weeks along, he walked out on me and I moved back in with my mom. Now, at the time of conception, I was married (getting a divorce now), and my husband is the legal father, though not biological. My sons biological father wants nothing to do with us, won't contact me at all, but his mother is always e-mailing or calling and threatening different things. My current fiance and I have been together since I was 4 months pregnant or so, and he has been dad since day one. He is the only dad my son knows, he loves my son as if he were his own, and he wants nothing more than to adopt him. How do we go about doing this, considering the marriage and biological father? Do both of them have to sign off on the adoption for it to go through? I've never been in this situation before, and I have no idea what to do next. Serious answers only, please!

Answer 1

In the US, you only need to have your husband sign off on the adoption.  Step-parent adoption cannot occur until you are married.   The biological father has no rights.  Consider getting a restraining order against the biological grandmother to leave you alone.  

Be sure to have a new will done immediately stating that your fiance should get guardianship and future adoption rights should something happen to you.  You need a lawyer to correctly draw this up.

Note: I said that the biological father has no rights. In very rare cases, he does get rights after the divorce is final, but few states will do so and they will only do so if he is actively pursuing it.

Answer 2

Wow.......you have a lot of men in your life!  

Contact a family lawyer.  You can usually have a free consultation.

EDIT**

Not trying to be judgmental just stating the obvious.  You have three men involved in the situation.  That is a fact.  I was simply saying it is a bit out of the ordinary and seems somewhat complex so you should probably talk to someone that specializes in family law.

Answer 3

Who ever is listed as the father is the one that has to sign away his paternal rights. The Biological father hasn't a thing to say about it. He has never been in the child's life, and if need be all rights can be taken away from him, because he never have contact with the child, and can be declared an unfit father.   You are going to have to contact a lawyer in order for this to be done, so explain this all to him, and he can also give advice on how to deal with the grandmother.  Most states don't have grandparents rights, so I don't think she can stop anything. I would print off the emails and show what she is threatening, which can come against her. Document everything, it never hurts to have enough evidence.

Answer 4

Actually, you WOULD need both men to relinquish rights if you really want to be safe and secure in the adoption.  Since your ex-husband is the legal father, he would have to sign away his rights.  However, since he is not the biological father, at any point in time his rights could have been questioned if the biological father had stepped forward.  The same thing can happen with  your adoption.  If your fiance adopts your son and six years from now bio father shows up, he can contest the adoption because he never terminated his parental rights - and biology names him daddy.  

Talk to a family court lawyer.  Terminating both father's rights really shouldn't be much more trouble or expensive than just doing one.  If you can't track down Mr. Sperm Donor then you can always terminate rights by running adds in the paper and stuff like that.

Answer 5

I'm confused too!  So you are saying that the information on the child's birth certificate is not the truth (the father named on the certificate is not the biological father?)

If the man raising your child with you wants to adopt him/her then legally, I guess you would need the permission from the legal father.   Ethically and morally, I would guess you would need both of them to sign away their paternal rights.