Adoption question. Woman adopting step-daughters?

Question

My fiance has sole custody of his 2 daughters (the eldest isn't his biological child, she has no father named on her birth certificate and he has never legally adopted her, although he is her legal guardian), they are 3 & 9. We are getting married next year and I would love to adopt them as I love them like they are my own daughters. Their mother hasn't seen them in 18mths (her choice) and doesn's pay any maintainance (the CSA are on the case but no luck in 12mths). I know that if we asked her if I could adopt them she would say no out of spite......the one and only time we came face to face she made it clear that I wasn't bringing up her kids (even though she couldnt care less). Is there a cut off point when I would be able to adopt without her permission ?? EG if she hadn't seen the children for x years ??

Answer 1

Unfortunately without their mothers consent i don't think you can adopt them,what you can do is get a solicitor who can help with quality advise,good luck

Answer 2

Check out your state laws regarding adoption.  As for the eldest, make sure he legally adopts her...without it I'm not sure you have the grounds to even attempt adopting her.  Also, I believe adoption cuts the ties of C/S.  If she is a selfish person, mention that to her.  

At some point in time in their lives, in most states, they can make the decision to allow you to adopt them.  

I almost asked my dad (step-dad) to adopt me but, I didn't want his last name and well...other small reasons.  He's my dad regardless and that's all I care about.  I have a Will and he is on it, not my father.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You need the permition off their mother, if shes says no, then no, its hard, as even though she doesn't see them, they are still her kids!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Yes you can adopt them. In most states its non-payment or not seeing them for 2 years.

I am in the process of adopting my (step)daughter. Her mother hasnt paid child support in over 3 years and didnt see her for over 2 years(her choice) She is fighting the adoption purely out of spite.

Talk to an attorney. They can advise you on what your options are.

Answer 5

Contact either your local Social Services department they will be able to answer all your questions  or find out where your local CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory Support Service)  office is  telephone them and ask to speak to a Duty  Officer say its reference a step parent adoption and they  should also be able to advise you.

Answer 6

I really commend you for being there for the girls. Unfortunately, the law is what it is.  Your best bet is to contact a lawyer and see what he/she has to say. For the girls' sake, and for yours, I hope it works out for you.  Good luck!!

Answer 7

"The court will also ask an independent social worker agency (also known as a children's guardian) to visit you. Their job is to:

safeguard your child's interests on behalf of the court, so they will want to know why you do not want your child to be adopted "

in order to adopt, the biological mother must give consent, or the courts must decide to proceed without her consent.

she will need a valid reason to keep you from proceeding with the adoption, and she will also need to explain her lack of contact over 2 years, and her inability to pay child maintenance.

whilst not guarenteed, you will have a -very- strong case against her in court, as she will not be able to prove an interest in the children, and she'll be in trouble for not providing child maintenance anyway ( which is soon to be a jailable offense i believe)

summarising, although there is no set "cut-off" point, at the ages of 3 and 9 and no contact or maintenance for that period of time, there is almost no way that she would be able to defend a court case against her, so provided that the children are interested in being adopted by you, aswell as the father, you will have a very very strong chance of succeeding.

these are in terms of UK law ( as this question is under the UK section of Y! Q&A), there will be different laws and rules for different countres/states etc.

it's worth bearing in mind that whether you're the named mother or not, by being there for them and acting as the mother figure in their lives, you -are- their mother in all but name, keep it up, because at the end of the day it's all about the child's happiness, and yours as a family!

hope that helps.

Answer 8

You won't be able to adopt without her permission and the kids agreement.

Maybe just enjoy the fact that you are building a fab relationship with them, and you are their mother, in every other way possible.

Answer 9

You can not adopt without that mothers permission since she is still alive.

Your husband needs to legally adopt that first child as well before you can.

You need to seek a lawyer because the mother would need to be served with papers before you would be allowed. The mother would have to legally sign away her rights to the child. You can not do it without her permission.

Answer 10

Does she pay child support? In order for your to adopt her rights would need to be terminated either voluntarily or involuntarily. The only way I know to get an involuntary TPR is if she has abandoned the children and can't be found. Your state will vary on the abandonment time frame, but she will had to have had zero contact, not paid her court ordered child support, and not be able to be found from my understanding.

Answer 11

I am not sure but I do believe there is.At some point there has to be a way for what she has to say does not matter.18mths is a long time not to see your children.I would say to try to contact a lawyer to find out what the legal step are that you guys can take.The best of luck to your happy family.I hope you find the information you are looking for.