Adoption thesis paper, need your thoughts?

Question

im doing a thesis paper on adoption right now, the question being if it's alright for adoption records to remain sealed regardless of the wishes or needs of the adopted child. if you have any ideas on the topic (and not just one word answers) or anything you know that you think could be useful; please tell me... it would mean a lot to me and my grade

Answer 1

sealing the records of an adopted child's life is the cruelest decision anybody could make. no matter the circumstances of the biological mother and father that made the desicion to let go of there child and place his/her life into anothers hands the bottom line is they didn't give up- "they sacrificed" and the child should be able to at any givin time at an understanding age be allowed to contact, research and finialize there own closure to the "why" "who" when" and complete emptiness of feeling like they were just unwanted by there biological parents, and more then likely thank there biological parensts for allowing him/her to a good life with whomever the parents felt was the right ones to be  "mom and dad" to there wonderful gift from god that they sacrificed and just wanted to offer him/her a chance at life.

Answer 2

Honestly it is not the mothers who want sealed records. I very emphatically stated that all of my information be given to my child. However, that is not what happened. Sealed records in my own opinion are not for the protection of the mothers. Rather it is done for the sake of adoptive parents who have no wish to be "bothered" by those pesky first families. Sad but in reality that is a big part of the reason. Every single mother I have spoken to states exactly the same thing, I never asked for privacy. So who is this protecting? Sealed records deny our children the right to know who and where they came from. A thing every single person in this country (and every country) wants to know. A thing that every single un-adopted person it entitled to by law. So why is it different for the children that are adopted. This is a social justice issue and well as a civil rights issue, and it needs to changed. Children who are adopted already lost their family and sealed records compound the loss.

You can also go to Origins-USA's website there is alot of  good material there on this subject, also Adotptioncrossroads.org

Exiledmothers is also very good all of these sites have good information on mothers and adoptees rights.

Answer 3

It is ridiculous to have a person's records sealed due to the circumstances of their birth.  Adoptees are the only people whose right to know their origins is stolen from them.  Promises of privacy to natural families are a myth.  In most cases natural mothers do not want to be hidden forever from their children.  

The adoption industry is the only true beneficiary of sealed records.  It gives them a 'cleaner product'.  The adoptive parents can fabricate their adoptee's story to match their own preferences that way.

Answer 4

I believe the records shouldn't be sealed because it is the child's choice if they want to find their birth mother or not. Yes, a lot of adopted children feel like their mother gave them up because she didn't care but that isn't always true. Its needs to be remembered that the mother could have aborted their pregnancy in the first place if they really didn't care. In that case the child never would have had the chance to even think about a life to have fun and grow up in, but their mother chose to give them life which is why they are here. There are many reasons why mother's give up their children, maybe they aren't stable or have too many issues to involve a child, they may even give up the child because they know that they would have a better chance at life with someone else. When it all comes down to it an child gets to about age 12 they will start asking questions and by the child is to the age of 18 and are old enough to vote and make their own big decisions, if they want to find out who their birth mother is should be their own decision too.

I hope I helped :)

Answer 5

i think medical records absolutely need to be open. all non identifying info is so important. i recently had a medical problem with my son and they thought it was genetic, i am adopted so the push to find my birthfather became very impotent. i found my birthmother 8 years ago, and finally met him about a month ago.

i understand the birthparents need for anonymity, but they hold the key to our past and genetic make up, not to mention there are several scholarships and things that an adoptee could be entitled to due to their heritage. ifs a shame to see them miss out on those opportunities.

Answer 6

Hello,

I think I could be of great help to you.

I AM adopted and I have also Given up a child for adoption 20 years ago.

I think the sealing of records is wrong.  Why?  Because reguardless of the reason a person may have for giving up their child, the child has the right to know from where they came.  I feel that I have been at a disadvantage my whole life because I have medical issues.  If I could find out the nature of these issues, Maybe I could get better care and be able to live a healthier life.  But when I was born the records were sealed.  I have no rights to find out anything.  That is just wrong.

When I was young and made the heartbreaking decision to give up my baby for adoption, I made it clear that He was to have access to anything and everything about me when he turned 21.  If there were anything at all that he needed in life that I could help him with, I would always be here.  I do not know where he is.  But I rest at night knowing that he has the

option if he wants it and I'd give my life for that child...Even though I've never met him.

So you see.  it's very personal, and it's something that defines who WE are as people, knowing your heritage, your history and where you are from is Very important.  It gives you a sence of self worth, of Value and the RIGHT to know who you are.  I think every individual deserves that.  And I hope you can take the things I've said and use them to better understand the adoption process.

Good Luck with your Thesis.  

and God Bless,

Lisa R.  (Adopted in NY)

Answer 7

I would say that adoption records shouldn't be sealed. I say this because the child didn't have a choice when the birth mother gave them up. I think they have a right to know why she made that decision. They also have the right to know about any medical background that is necessary for their health. Plus they have the right to know where their personality and physical traits came from. Having adoption records sealed makes the child out to be some dirty little sercert.  These are just my feelings! I struggle everyday as to why my birth mother gave me away and i had in a sense an open adoption.

Answer 8

ok.. I don't usually go off on a rant, but you've pushed one of my buttons.

I can't think of a single reason why any child would need to be in possession of any court documents, or DVS documents at any time, HOWEVER....

WE ARE NO LONGER CHILDREN.

We are adults.  

We need to have the same access to our records as every other adult.

We do not need "protection" from the adults who gave birth to us, or the ones who raised us.  

We do not need to be "protected" from the stigma of illegitimacy.

We did nothing to deserve being lied to.  

We did nothing to deserve being treated as children all of our lives.

WE DID NOT CHOOSE THIS.

We were not given a voice in ANYTHING that happened to us as infants and children, yet we are the ones who have to live with the consequences of the actions of others.

Adoption records SHOULD NOT be sealed for any reason, at any time.

Answer 9

If I were you, I would try to imagine a situation where you might consider giving up a child.

Perhaps you are in a very abusive relationship and you escaped, are living in a shelter and just discovered you were pregnant.

Or you were raped coming home from school one day.

Or you were practicing safe s*x but an accident happened.  You are too young and your family would disown you and be disgraced if you had a child out of wedlock.

There are a million different reasons and they are all as different as each individual.

Imagine you were in the worse possible place in your life.  Alone.  You did not want an abortion but you could not have a child.  You NEED to get past this point in your life and start over.

While I understand the desire of an adopted child to know everything they can about their biological mother - she is just that.  The child's FAMILY is what is important.

If we take away the right to sealing adoption records, we would be putting unborn children at risk.

If you were in extreme distress and pregnant and you knew the records could not be sealed and at some point in your life someone may find out, would we be risking that these woman may chose abortion instead of adoption?

Just a thought.

Answer 10

I think it is up to the birthmother.  There is a reason why they gave up the kid in the first place.  It is definatley their choice...just like abortion is the mother's choice.

by the way..I am adopted

Answer 11

I think it is unfair to the child in every way. I believe that either the birth parent, or the adoptive parent(s), (or both), feel the need to hide something or "ignore" such a precious gift. In my opinion, they are thinking of their own feelings, and not the childs.

In the majority of all cases, the child will, at some point be curious about his/her heritage. They will question the differences in either their appearance, or differences in personality, etc., from their adoptive family. They will search for what they feel is "a place of feeling a part of something", of not being so "alone".

Even the best adoptive family situations will more than likely have some obstacles when it comes to this at some point or time.

Also, WHY rob a person of this, in my opinion, it is his/her right to know his/her heritage. Mainly, for medical reasons!

My husband and I requested that our adoption plan be an Open one. Our daughter's birth mother agreed to contact us at least twice a year through our agency, with letters, and pictures, and we will do the same in return. I spoke with her personally, face to face, and expressed that I would encourage, and entertain "more'' contact in the future if our daughter wanted it, or if she wanted it. It is up to us to make sure that our daughter is secure with who she is, and feels that she is a part of a much larger family. Birth and Adoptive.  

I guess other than the psychological reasons, the other most important factor in openess is the medical issue.  The child should have the right to that information, if not for themselves, then for any children they have in the future.

Answer 12

I'm an adoptive parent, and I definetly think my children (and all adoptees) have a right to that information. I'm curious to know who it is that's pushing to keep them closed. It seems that most "first-mothers" are open to the adoptee eventually having this information, most adoptees want this information, and all of the adoptive parents I know think their children have a right to their adoption records, so I'm wondering who exactly are they protecting?

Added: Also, my children were adopted internationally, and on the paperwork sent from Korea were the names of their first-parents, HOWEVER the state that we live-in required that this informational be kept from them, so it's blacked out, and stamped "confidential", now my children have to wait until they are old enough and travel to Korea to get their birth records, and the names that they should already be allowed to know. It's ridiculous!

Answer 13

There are three adopted kids in my extended family.

Personally, I prefer that my records stay sealed.  I was adopted at birth so in my heart, the family that raised me is my only family.  I have no desire to search and would decline any requests for a reunion.

One of my cousins really wanted to find her birth family.  She began a search and had the door slammed on her really hard which broke her heart.

My other cousin was randomly contacted by her birth mom after 32 years.  They have had a couple of visits but have not sustained any form of relationship.

I know that open adoptions are much more common now than in the past.  However, I believe that promises made to the birth mother should be honored.  If she was told that the records would be sealed, they should remain sealed.  It's not fair to break that confidence.  Giving up a child is a major sacrifice and it takes a lot to move past it.  It's just not fair that the birth mother should have the child show up on her door one day and disrupt her life.

My parents have a letter that my birth mother wrote to me.  They have kept it all these years but I have never asked to read it.

Other adoptees feel a need to know where they came from.  They feel they have a right to know their birth parents.  I know there are registries where adoptees and birth parents can register for reunions.  If both parties register, they are reunited.  I just have a problem with not respecting a birth mother's request for privacy and anonymity and demanding to have records unsealed.

Answer 14

Closed records are the last form of legal slavery in the US.

Open records are a civil right that all adopted adults are entitled too.

Adopted adults should not be held responsible for a contract that was not signed by them.

Go to the b*****d Nation website for more info.