Adoption - what do you think of this idea?

Question

I have had an idea as I've noticed so many people, both who I have known and people who I've seen on message boards and on here, when they fall pregnant by accident they only consider keeping the baby or abortion. Hardly anybody ever considers adoption. I've met loads of people who've had abortions but never in my life met someone who has given the baby away.

So I was thinking of starting a publicity campaign raising peoples awareness about adoption.

It's not that I am anti-abortion, I don't particularly like it but as long as it isn't done as an alternative to contraception then I don't judge someone for having an abortion as a one off solution to a mistake. Nor am I against unprepared or young parents keeping the child - I fell pregnant at 19 without a partner or a job at the time (I got a job as soon as I found out though) and kept the baby and we're now doing brilliantly. But it is just for people that don't want to keep the baby but hate the idea of abortion, to inform them that

Answer 1

I understand that it must be hard placing a child, knowing he/she is out there somewhere. But, I think I would much rather deal with those feelings than with the guilt I would feel forever knowing that I killed my baby.  I know women that have had abortions, and they really never get over it.

Answer 2

well I am going to give you an honest answer:

I agree that adoption is a better opion but it does mean that it  makes it easier, you have to understand most of the women who are haveing these abortions are women or girls who cannot:

1- afford to have a child

2- sometimes not even tell anyone for fears that they themselves will get hurt

3- have no money to even continue the pregnancy, they might consider adoption but cannot figure out they are going to last the 9 months (medical bill, vitamins, clothes, home, etc)

4- and most of the time it's because there parents are going to kill them and they have no where to go and the parents will no even consider that **** in their home  

5- a few are drug users

6-a few are already homeless ( yes yes I know shelters) have any of you been to a disgusting shelter ?

because I have and it sucks!

so yes I do feel that adoption is the best option and I myself have adopted my beautiful baby boy but I must we all cannot point fingers.

In the words of the lord thou that have no sin should throw the first rock!

Answer 3

I am against abortion for moral reasons.I am also against adoption simply for the fact I WILL never hand my baby over to strangers I will do whatever it takes to keep it.

Answer 4

EXCELLENT IDEA . . .and i'm speaking as an adoptee!

break down the myths that we're all pining for someone; that we're less than whole; that we feel this part of us being ripped away, etc.   Some feel that but not all adoptees.  Some adoptees feel they are not victims; some adoptees feel they are strong, whole, productive individuals.  Some adoptees feel grateful for being adopted (i do and i've met my bparents); some adoptees are fine with adoption!

GET THE WORD OUT :)

Answer 5

I believe that adoption is a great thing, and u r right no one thinks of it just abortions or having the baby, but adoption is a great thing, yes u get attched to the baby becuz it has been in u for 9 months but at the same time when u give it to a better family that can take care of it, its special becuz they will do things for ur baby that u never could have done, there are 2 different kinds of adoption well 3, 1st u can have an open adoption which means u get to meet the family that u will be giving ur baby to visit them and hang around them for the 9 months and at least 1 time a year they send u pics and letters of ur baby, there is the 2nd closed adoption where u dont meet them and ur lawyer or adoption agencies find a family they think is best and u turn it over to the social worker and they give the baby to the family and of course there is the foster home if u dont want to keep ur kid and did no arrangments for adoption then u tell the state u dont want the baby and they will put it in foster homes until it can be adopted............. I have a sister who has gave away 2 children so i am kindof experienced with this.......

Answer 6

Maybe it is that after you bear it becomes harder to give the baby away since for 9 months you carry the baby and you get attached to your baby more than the time you would have an abortion. I don't know well thats just a thought since I haven't been pregnant before.

Answer 7

AMEN SISTER-  I was adopted and have 2 adopted children, actually - however I can tell you that many, many, many more women abort then even consider placing for abortion. How do I know , I use to counsel women in crisis pregnancies- and most would rather take the life of their child, which by the way they know that they are doing, then "give their baby" away.  I have a HUGE suggestion if you do start a campaign for raising peoples awareness about adoption- don't use the words "give your baby up or give your baby away"- it makes is seem like the birth mom has been forced to place - use the word place for adoption- it helps the birth mom understand that it is a good option, plus being an adoptee and and adoptive parent- it I was given away to someone it makes me feel more like I was abandoned, instead of placed in the arms of another couple, because of the love of my birth mom.  Does that make sense?  Most of my answers gets thumbs down here, but.......

Answer 8

Would YOU have wanted your mother to just hand you over to strangers?

Answer 9

adoption is a very good thing. the only problem with that is when you adopt a child, he or she has  most likely went through alot of bad times, that can lead to mood swings, violent behavior, or other behavioral problems. an adopted child may be hard to deal with.

Answer 10

you talk alot of sense, and I see your heart is in the right place! Thankyou for making sense and seeing sense!!

I am pretty much like you in what you believe and I think.

I do think that more emotional help should be given too.

Answer 11

I agree with you completely!!  Why kill a baby when there are so many people out there that want a baby, but can't have one?

Answer 12

What you don't understand is that adoption is very like organ donation.  Yes you are creating a family, but in order to do that you are destroying a family.   It is every bit a s permanent as abortion or suicide, but the problems it solves are often temporary.

Mothers who place children for adoption never forget, never "get over it" never "move on".  There is a huge stigma attached to placing a child. people will look at her differently if they know for the rest of her life.

You found a way to keep your baby, why shouldn't ever other young mother have that same chance?

Answer 13

I suggest you go and meet actual birthmothers before deciding to persuade other women out of their babies.  Read our blogs.  

Read "The Girls Who Went Away."  Sure times have changed from the Baby Scoop Era, but a lot of the feelings and emotions surrounding being a birthmother and stigma attached to such a choice still exists in modern domestic infant adoption.

Read the study that the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute wrote about Safeguarding the Rights and Well-Being of Birthparents.

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/researc...

Read the whole pdf study results and really read the outcomes to the well-being of parents who relinquish their children.

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publica...

If you hear of a birthparent recommending adoption as being an awesome choice, realize that they are still very new to their birthparent role.  It's not until many years of living with that choice that their opinions change.

Anyway, get to know the shoes that women like me walk in before binding them to another's feet please.

Edit to reply your comment:

=o/  That was very dismissive.  Loss is loss is loss.  What you propose in this question is selling adoption to expectant women in crisis as a win-win opportunity.  Please read what I linked to above.  To say that at least I know my child is alive out there is dismissive of my experience and my loss.  Encouraging women to relinquish with no concept of how women like me who have relinquished tend to feel especially over the long period of time since relinquishment is wrong.  The trouble with how adoption is presented to expectant mothers is that it isn't fully informing them of their options.  Read the pdf link, see for yourself.

Answer 14

There are MILLIONS of dollars spent on campaigning and pushing adoption as an alternative to unplanned pregnancies every year. From the NCFA to Right to Lifers to adoption agencies themselves they all push adoption as an alternative to keeping your child and / or abortion.

Honestly I think its a horrible idea to spread the word on adoption, but thats just me. Why not start a group to help women keep their children.

There are FEW homes across the country that a woman can go to to keep her child and receive assitance and education and parenting help, but there are over 3000 adoption agencies all with outreach programs.

Answer 15

You have been talking to the wrong people in the wrong places.

Since you haven't ever given a child up then you have no idea how devastating it is to us birthmothers or how it affects the children we give up. Just my humble opinion.