Adoptive Parents, What was it like meeting your son/daughter to be, for the first time?

Question

cagney, I totally feel you. I had SOOO many mixed feelings, I just didn't feel right to smile. I wasn't there when he was born, but met him later at the Children's Hospital. I cried for 2 weeks straight.

Thanks for sharing,

And if you have heard the story of when your parents met you , please share.

Answer 1

Amazing, Overwhelmed, Overjoyed. Incredibly wonderful and, 10 years later, still is.

btw-Love the glasses

Answer 2

Scary.

From the day I was first contacted about my son, I knew I wanted him. I hadn't met him or even seen a picture, but I knew I wanted this little boy. When I saw his picture for the first time, I cried. The day my (now ex-) husband and I went to DCFS to meet the child and his foster parents, I was a nervous wreck. I was worried that something would go wrong and we wouldn't be able to be his parents after all. I thought maybe the foster parents would hate us or that the child would cry and not want to look at us...all different kinds of fears. Even though he was 2-1/2, he didn't talk much, but we brought him a fire truck toy and he loved it! We got lots of great pictures of him playing with it and us with him. The social worker took a picture of the three of us together -- it's off-center and a little blurry, but it's our first 'family' portrait and I still have it. The foster family was very nice to us even though our communication with each other was quite broken. They spoke Spanish and we speak very little Spanish, but the social worker helped to translate and we smiled at each other a lot while watching the child play.

I cried when we left DCFS and waited VERY anxiously for the next phone call from the social worker, which would schedule us for our first visit at the child's foster home. We got that call a day or so later, had ten visits with him (including one overnighter), and brought him home with us 30 days after that first meeting. It took 23 more months to finalize his adoption and it has been nearly five years since that first meeting, but I will remember it sweetly forever as the day I met my son.

Answer 3

How do I even put it in words?

I swore that I was not going to get attached to the family or the child.  This was just a meeting - or so I kept telling myself.  

But the grandparents put the child in my arms the minute they got to our house and he just curled up at me and smiled.  My heart melted.  We talked for hours and he never cried once.  I kept asking what was wrong with him - all babies cry; don't they?  

When the bio-family asked us if we would consider becoming his parents, I was in absolute shock - there is no other way to explain it.  My husband and I just looked at each other and cried.  I never knew my heart could hold so much love in such a short time.

Answer 4

Hasn't happened yet.

Answer 5

I remember being over joyed and so nervous.  She was so tiny and precious.  She was crying in my arms, then my husband held her.  Our daughter wrapped her hand around his finger and just stared at him.  I will never forget the look on his face holding his daughter for the first time, complete love.  Those two have always been thick as thieves.  Shes the biggest daddy's girl in the world and yes now she has him wrapped around her finger.

I remember being in awe.  She was so snugly, i just couldn't keep my hands off her.  I was very nervous about changing her diaper, giving her bath, and dressing her.  Our First Mother helped walk me through it all.  Then she held the baby and i could visibly see the connection, they knew each other.  She got up hugged me and wished me a happy mother's day. So for me it was mixed.  I was walking on air but i also saw what our first mother was giving up.  I knew it was painful for her and my heart ached for her.  I looked our first mother in the eyes and told her, i will love her baby with all of my heart and all of my soul. That is a promise I will never break.  Its actually an easy promise to keep, she is still so lovable and snugly.  She has my heart completely.

Nothing in the world compares to holding your first baby in your arms for the first time.

Answer 6

it was mixed.  i know that sounds odd, but my emotions were all over the place.  we were present at our daughter's birth, hubby cut the cord even.  we were thrilled to be invited to see such a wonderful little person come into this world.  and yes i was in love already with that little girl.  And felt blessed this true miracle could bless our lives more than she already had.

But at the same time i still had in my head that this other woman was her mother, and should she decide to parent i prayed i would be able to understand.  i hurt knowing that she would leave there empty handed if she choose not to parent.  i worried about her support and how she was going to leave that hospital without this beautiful little girl.

the hospital was great.  they were very understanding, and geared toward the woman that gave birth and not hubby and i.  and i did appreciate and respect that.  Also the hospital did allow us to stay in our own room there and if it was ok with our daughter's other mother we could have our daughter in our room, but she could be with her whenever she wanted.  

in the end all of us stayed in the same room, she choose to hang out with us for the night.  So we all were able to bond with one another and this precious little girl.  Even though i will never feel the way her other mother did that next day when she left without her and left her child in our care, I think it was the most wonderful experience and one our daughter will enjoy hearing again and again as she grows.

Answer 7

My parents (adopted) told me it was like magic. My mom said it was the first time she saw my dad cry. He was worried that we would not connect, so my mom held me all the time. One night I woke up and he heard me so he went down stairs and got the bottle for me. My mom found us both asleep on the couch. I have been Daddy's girl ever since.