Adoptive Parents Afraid To Blog?

Question

I am an adoptive mom and I decided to start a blog. Not about adoption, just about our family and life. I emailed the blog to all of my friends and family. I included our son's birthmother in the email. We had not heard from her in a really long time. Within hours of my sending out the blog site we had a reply from her. I am thrilled. I truly beleive that a blog gives a birthmother/father the freedom to view their childs life in an annonomyous way on their terms, where they are comfortable. I am so glad that I did this. What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

my thoughts are, if my parents exploited me in this way, i would be more than furious.

Answer 2

I think it is a great idea, you have opened up a new way for birth moms and dads, to view, a day in the life of their child. I am sure she was thankful and I think it was a brilliant idea.

Answer 3

I think it's wonderful that you are thoughtful enough to include the bio mother.  It truley is a great way for her to see how he is doing without actually having to contact you.  I am sure she's truley grateful to you for sending it to her.  I think it was the right thing to do.  You are very sweet.

Answer 4

I commend you for not only the blog but for including the birth mother. I personally would like to consider adopting because we have the means and the love to do so but don't want to because the thought of someone out there who could take my child back from me literally and figuratively terrifies me beyond belief. Perhaps I am selfish in that way. I would hate that there was this person looking in on my child's life like that.

Answer 5

I think a-parents are afraid to blog because the don't want to face the reality of adoption and the harm it causes.

They want to live in make believe land and not have anyone show them differently.

They are content with the delusion of Hope, that it will all go away if nobody addresses it.

Answer 6

My daughter mom has broken contact several times and this saddens me deeply. We are both on MySpace and are on each others contacts. My page is kept private for only people I know. I hope and pray she checks to see new pictures.

Recently the hubby and I went as far as to make dd a private MySpace with just us and her mom as contacts. Even though we have not spoken to mom she accepted the friend's request. She writes to her on there because it is the only way she can convey how she feels. She posts pictures she has taken herself and she also posts things going on in her life.

I think her mom needs to work out her feelings.

And unfortunately I think her hubby has not helped with the contact issue and placing pressure on her. We love her and hope she makes contact soon. She is relative so at least we know she is ok through other family members.

Answer 7

Excellent.  We have a great relationship with our sons birthmother.  I think it makes the whole situation so much easier for everyone when there is open communication.

Answer 8

I am an adoptive mother of a 9 month old.  I hope to adopt again.  My son's first mom is pregnant again, and in an even worse situation, and I try to help her, but don't know what to do for her.

She initially said she'd be by, we even planned Thanksgiving dinner for her to be at our house, she never showed, and has never called (his first dad does though).  

I keep my family's pictures on myspace, and have told the person who introduced us to keep her informed of updates.  I know she views it (I've gotten comments returned to me from our mutual friend, like his brother did certain things earlier/later).

I think it's great, and I too am open to his mother seeing it, and for more contact with him (he's 9 months old now).  I am careful of information I put on it, as far as identification, because I want people I know to be able to see it, and have it within reason to have some view it, however, I don't want a child predator to come to my house and be able to know that I have a child and try to get him!