Adoptive Parents: Did you or do you have a problem with your child searching for their Birth Family?

Question

I would hope this attitude has or is changing over the past years. But, I have seen it and heard it so many times.

My former mother-in-law actually told her children NOT to search until she died because it would kill her...

I honestly don't understand?

Of course, for a minor child I would draw some lines--I want to be sure that my child is emotionally ready for this experience.

Today, I would expect that most adopted children are not still being raised without any information--or without as much info is possible... Even our children placed from Foster Care with a Protection Order were given photo's and as much info as there was.

I just don't get WHY any mother confident in her parenting, and the love she has for her child would ever have a negative reaction about searching.

I believe if I am actually a good mother the relationship I have with my children will survive no matter what other relationship they decide to have with anyone else.

What is the problem?

Answer 1

My mom never had any problem with it. In fact, I think she was ready to search before I was. She helped me with any info she had, she encouraged me, and when we found my bmom she welcomed her into our family with excited and open arms.

Answer 2

My son won't ever have to search.  We keep his other mom in his life, and keep tabs on the father, who refuses to admit that he has a son.

I wouldn't have it any other way.