Adoptive parents, What's the silliest thing anyone ever said to you, OUTSIDE OF Y/A.?

Question

For me I'd have to say it was when a woman at the icecream shop told me that my sone looked JUST like me even though I'm brown from head to toe, and he is blonde haired, and blue eyed with fair skin. I wan't offended, but thought it was silly. I just said thanks.

Answer 1

I had a friend ask how my labor was...my response...longer than usual; about fourteen months!  This friend knew we had adopted and realized the mistake the second it came out.  We both laughed it off.

Answer 2

I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier said, "Its so nice that you do daycare."  Before i could respond my then 4yr said, "My mom does NOT do daycare!"  After a mental high five to my daughter, I stared at the cashier waiting for the apology.  She did eventually.

Answer 3

Our first foster baby was African American; we're Caucasian.

He came into our care when he was only hours old. As I do with all my kids the first thing we did was take him to get his pictures taken (many foster children dont have baby pictures)

The photographer kept looking at my husband and then looking at the baby like " doesn't he know the baby isnt his?"

Answer 4

Well I am not an adoptive parent but I was once in an internship in Texas. I was with some friends, 4 Asians, and I asked where were they from, originally, one said China, Thailand, Singapore and when the fourth one was going to answer somebody interrupted him "He's adopted". I was like "that doesn't mean he is not from somewhere" and after a long discussion I went to my room and he followed to tell me "I am from Korea"

Answer 5

People have asked me if my son's mother was on drugs. Um, like that's any of your business? And besides, if I tell them no they won't believe me (everyone wants to believe the worst -- it's juicier that way) and if I say yes, they'll just pity my son...or me. Ugh! No thanks.

They have also said, "Oh, if you didn't tell me your son was adopted, I'd never know." Is that supposed to be a compliment? Weird. I smile but don't say anything in response. I know most people are just trying to be nice, but whether or not my son is blood related to me doesn't matter to ME. Funny how it seems to matter to everyone else.

Answer 6

The best for me was when I started a new job and my new boss - who didn't know our son was adopted - looked at the picture of my son on my desk and said "good thing he looks like his dad".....He was only joking with me to see what I would say but you should have seen how many shades of red he turned, when I said "You know his father?  Wow - it is a small world.  I didn't think anyone knew (bio-dad's name)."  Then I explained that our son was adopted.  He was so embarrassed but we still joke about it to this day.  

The other one that I like is when people ask us about our son's unique name.  They want to know where it came from, and we always say "he came with it".  Well, you should see the faces of people when we give them that answer.  : )  

Oh, thanks for making me smile with this question today.  I needed it.  : )

Answer 7

I'm caucasion American, my son is Guatemalan.  I was once asked if my son would have an accent.  At the time he was only 8 months old.  

When I told someone that I adopted as a single parent, I was asked, "And they let you adopt like that?"

There are many more...  it's late...

I've also been told that my son "looks just like" me.  I just say thank you.  (Big compliment because my son is beautiful!)

NOTE:  IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO WANTS TO ASK AN ADOPTIVE PARENT A QUESTION- PLEASE WAIT UNTIL THE CHILD WALKS AWAY OR IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ASK. It's not that it's a big secret, but some questions can be quite insensitive and kids hear everything.

Answer 8

Q:  What country did you adopt from?

A:  Texas

Q:  People can adopt from there??  Really?????

Answer 9

I'd like to see this question, only including what's been said here on Y!A.  Ooooh, boy.

**Oh, I haven't had too much said to me, personally.  It's just the snide little side comments about birthmoms (whores, drug addicts, etc.); adoptive parents (baby hunters, etc.)- I can't think of any off the top of my head, I just know that they are in people's responses here and there.  I will try to think of specifics.

Answer 10

I've got Bill Engvall running through my head.

"Stupid sign, stupid sign, here's your stupid sign!"  (sung to the tune of jingle bells)  LOL

I haven't adopted yet, but it's always fun talking to people about our pending adoption.  My mom is the best.  She's clueless, and has, on many occasions, called our future child "it" (does the fact that "it" has less syllables than "he or she" make it ok to call a human being "it"?).  There are many others, I just can't think right now.  First cup of coffee.  :-)

ETA:  Janna, you're awesome.  I still have some infant pictures of a child who went to an adoptive home, and I'm almost positive they were not forwarded to the adoptive parents.  I hope they got SOME baby pictures of him in the foster home!

Answer 11

Before our children (ages 5 and 10 at that time) from Africa arrived, I was asked if we planned on telling them they'd been adopted.

Right after the question was asked, the person immediately realized how silly it was.

Edit: I also had someone ask, while we were in the process, if we were adopting black children from Africa.  That was another no-brainer.

Answer 12

While standing in line to check out at Petsmart with my 2 month old daughter.  A woman who had been leerily staring at me asked, "Did you carry that baby"? I can only assume since she felt that I did not carry excess baby weight, that I did not carry her. Rediculous, there are many women who bounce back after a short period of time. In any case, I simply answered her with the typical, "Why do you ask?".

Answer 13

How much did he cost?

Answer 14

I have a friend who conceived her son via an egg donor, so she's not actually biologically related to him. As a bit of a joke she entered a mother & baby look alike contest at the shopping mall and won first prize. It was hilarious!!

Answer 15

LOL.  I can so totally relate. My son has a little more olive skin than my husband and I .  We hear the same line "oh he looks just like you".

The one I hate is when someone finds out he's adopted we get the "so do you know who the mom is".  I feel like going "duh, who do you think I am".

Answer 16

im not an adoptive parent but im an adoptee, and these answers are making me laugh. it amazes me the nerve and complete ignorance of people.

i like when people find out im adopted, the typical first response is a horrified "OH, I AM SOOOOO SORRY!!! i had no idea! please forgive me, honest if i had known, i , i "

you'd what? have a different opinion of me? not feel like you made a huge social blunder? not give me that look of pity, like i had a third arm growing out of my forehead?

goes to show, stupid has no boundaries.

great question.