Adoptive parents, do you feel as though biological parents....?

Question

Do you (sometimes) think/ feel as though the biological

parent(s) don't do all that they can to care for the child themselves (talking about adoptions for financial reasons)?

If so, why?

Answer 1

There is just so many reasons a parent puts their child up for adoption, and it is not always financial, although it is a major part for some, but I believe it is alot peer pressure and lack of confidence, fear of not being able to raise a baby, they don't come with instruction booklets. and some don't have family support. I truly don't know the reasons why.

Answer 2

I know this question is for adoptive parents, but as a biological parent I resent it.  

Like I have always said,  I would rather provide for my child than scrape by for them.

Sure, there are government help programs.  They help a single mother have just barely enough to survive.  If even.  They don't help anyone get onto their feet and start doing it on their own.  Because as soon as you get a chance to save some money, or get a slightly higher paying wage they take it away.  So then it becomes a cycle, do you want to make more money so you can buy a house, or a car that actually runs, or winter clothes for you kids that don't have holes?  Or do you want to keep your kids on health care?  Because if you make two more dollars an hour you are no longer eligible for Medicaid.

Answer 3

With all of the financial support available to single mothers and low income families, I would think that there is enough assistance so that someone would not HAVE to place for adoption, purely for financial reasons.

Not saying that concern over money wouldn't be an issue at all, but I would think it wouldn't be the only one.  And granted, a person would need to know about those resources and take the time and effort to actually apply for them.  It does take some research and legwork.

I think that more people either feel they are unable to be parents at this point in their lives.

ETA: Chelsea, I was a teen mom in a crisis pregnancy and I made use of government assistance those first few years.  You know what, we went to college.  We got jobs and didn't need that assistance anymore.  Don't say that it can't be done.

Answer 4

I know my baby's birthmother is 24 years old, has had one job in her entire life that lasted 2 months, has a 4 year old daughter that she lost custody of to her aunt and won't quit doing drugs and hanging out long enough to care for any of her children.  I love her with all my heart because she gave me the light of my life, my son, but I do not approve of her life choices and no, she doesn't even try to make her life better.  She is constantly in jail or homeless, staying with this friend or that friend or sleeping on the streets.  She has been pregnant 6 times, had 1 miscarriage, 3 abortions and 2 live births and could possible be pregant again as I type this.  

She is no condition to care for herself, much less a tiny little helpless baby.  She did the best thing she could possibly do for him, she gave him to me and she can see him whenever she likes (well, as long as she is sober, I do not allow her to see him if she is high) and she usually chooses not to see him because the drugs are more important to her right now.

She has no skills, little education and no background to help her get and keep a job.  She was discarded by her drug addict mother as a teenager and has done what she can to survive on the streets with little to no help from her family.  However, even seeing her kids being raised by other people has not had enough of an impact on her to make her change and become a productive member of society.  She told her younger sister that if she gets pregnant again, she is going to try to keep the baby, but if she can't she want to give the baby to me.  So that is why I don't think she does what she can, she isn't prepared to be an adult and be a mom.

Answer 5

sure.....

I don't assume it's always financial, but for the cases where it is, there is usually a way, it just takes sacrafice and sometimes asking for help.

Also I think that real young parents placing a child probably know less about the options available.

Answer 6

I can't believe this question is even being asked.  I'm not an adoptive parent - in fact, I placed my daughter up for adoption and it was done out of LOVE.  Because I emotionally couldn't take care - financially and emotionally - of that little girl.  If you've ever gone through an adoption as a birthparent - you know that's the hardest decision to make and to go through the emotions of it afterwards is heartbreaking.  

At least they went through with the pregnancy and gave this child a life instead of being a coward (or inconvenienced) and have an abortion.