Adoptive parents; if you could go back in time would you do anything differently?

Question

Obviously, most wouldn't change a thing about the actul child they adopted, but I'm wondering if you would do anything differently in reguards to how you prepared for the adoption, intereaction with birth/ first family, your first days home with your child, etc. (things you actually had the ability to change)

Also, if you were to adopt again would you choose the same route?(domestic, foster, international, older child, sibling group, etc) If so would you want to use the same agency/ lawyer? If not, which route would you go?

Answer 1

Not an adoptive parent - just wanted to say thanks for an awesome, constructive question!

Some great answers already - sitting back and hoping to read more!

Answer 2

I wish I would have taken a picture of the natural father while I had the chance.

Otherwise, no. Our adoption was private (no agency) and initiated by the first mother. We each hired our own attorneys and counselors and most importantly made and honor the open adoption plan together.

We're not planning to adopt again but I would choose the same route if we did.  

Answer 3

never done attachment therapy...

Answer 4

I'd insist on alot of communication with my son's natural family.

If I adopted again, I'd do it all the same...  because I'd want all of my children to be "in the same boat" as much as possible.  I can control the adoption agency, the attorney, the country, etc., I do know that all adoption situations are very different, though... but what I can control, I will.

Answer 5

I would have tried harder when I was younger to adopt.  I waited until my bio son was 18, and then have been so blessed to adopt my son Jacob, now almost 11 months old.  We are working with his bio parents to adopt his younger brother or sister also, and saying a lot of prayers that the 4 of us can work together.  I wish we'd communicated more ourselves after his birth, rather than communicating through our mutual friend who introduced us.  We're working together on everything now.

Answer 6

My adoptive Mum is sitting right here and, bless her heart, she says she so wishes she would've gotten hold of my original birth certificate for me before it was sealed away.

Answer 7

We did adopt only 3 years ago (internationally) but I wouldn't change a thing about it. I felt we were prepared right, it was the right choice to include our older daughter and we had wonderful first days. We did go back to her orphanage and collected momentos and impressions and held her a lot and loved her, of course :)

If we do adopt again (and we have already decided if we can and will do, it will be an adoption again) we would adopt an older child. My girls are now almost 4 and 6, so we would go for 3 - 4 year old child. I am open to anything, international or domestic (if China speeds up their process again, I would with an adoption from China asecond time). What it comes down to for us, that it takes a resonable time to get the child.