Adoptive parents of infants: What were some signs that your baby was bonding with you?

Question

On my second day of being a single adoptive Mom, my Aunt was holding my son and I walked away to do something. When he noticed I was gone, he started crying and would absolutely not stop.... until she handed him to me. He just melted into my arms, as did my heart. It was then that I realized I had earned his trust and I was never going to mess that up.

Answer 1

My son was 8 months old when he came to live with us and well, he didnt "do" things like most babies, like hold on to you when you were holding him, or put his head on your shoulder when you held him and so, the first time he put his head on my shoulder and went to sleep was the "first" real sign to me.  It showed he trusted me and was bonding with me.  He is going to be 11 yo next month and that moment will always be in my memory.

Answer 2

I am an adoptee.  

When I had my first child is when I realized that he knew me so much better than I knew him, he had so much more confidence in me than I had in myself.  During a newborn well-baby check-up, the pediatrician needed to examine him fully.  Despite her experienced, gentle touch with babies, my son was just hysterical by the end of the exam.  When the doctor finished and told me I could dress him, I had a furiously screaming baby in front of me and I wondered what I was going to do to calm him down.  I looked him in the eye, smiled, said his name soothingly, and he suddenly relaxed, stopped crying...it was just one of those magical moments.  It struck me as strange that my own child knew me from everyone else.  But that moment, within days of his birth, stands out in my mind as the moment when I, the dumb mom, finally realized that he knew exactly who I was.

I was adopted at birth.  And my first conscious memory is from when I was about 17 months old.  Although I did not have the ability to articulate my feelings at the time, I remember them vividly!  In that memory I thought of my adoptive mom as "that person."  I knew she was the most important person in my life, but the mother-child bond still was not in place.  Even now, that still amazes me!

Answer 3

I knew when my son wrapped his little hand around my finger and smiled at me the first time about 4 months.  Ever since then he's been momma's little buddy everyday. :)

Up to that point I did alot of kangaroo type cuddling and carrying as well as doing all I could to try and anticipate his needs of food before he would start fussing so he'd learn to trust.  Just reading to him and rocking him helped as well as talking.

Answer 4

I'm not an AP but an adoptee with a young babe of my own.

Bonding was immediate, with my daughter, thro- breastfeeding & then grabbing tight of my finger within hours of being born. Eye contact was a big one as they can only see a few feet in front of them so being close to their face & you can see their eyes light up in recognization of you since the real genuine smiles & coos don't come for a couple months...but at that point any lil sound or grin they try to make for you is everything.

They cry because they need something or just your touch & know that by communicating this way with you their needs will be met. The fact that I could make her stop crying by simply laying next to her showed me she knew my 'presence'.   The sense of SMELL plays a huge role in the first few months as they are very aware of their smells & recognize specific things/people that way until their vision becomes clear.  Going off topic now...I could talk about my daughter or babes all day as this is my 'soft' topic that I love...I don't know how to explain but this made everything okay for me even though, I didn't think I was ready.

Ooh the giggles, expressions & coos they respond with. Dealing with separation anxiety where they cling to you because they trust you & not 'them'.  When you've proven that you'll be there they become independent because they know where to find you.

Of course saying momma was showing me she knew me around 6 months & hasn't slowed down talking since.  She'll be two soon & where she doesn't fully understand the meaning, she tells me I love you & will give me a hug.  So I can only imagine how much adopted babies & toddlers really do lose out.

Answer 5

When they seek you out for comfort

The smiles and giggles

The first "I wuv you"  (that one actually brought tears to my eyes)

Eye contact. holding onto my index finger tightly

Answer 6

Anything they choose to interpret.......

That is the joy opinion.

Answer 7

I adopted my son at birth.  I was in the delivery room and helped deliver him.  For us it was an immediate bonding.  When he would cry I would pick him up and he would stop crying.  His birthmother actually help him a few times while still in the hospital and she just could not calm him down.  I would then take him and hold him and he would be absolutely fine.  

I know it is different for each situation but mine was love at first sight.

Answer 8

My adopted newborn babies started to prefer me over others very quickly.  Stopped crying or fussing when I held them.  In their second or third month if someone was holding them they would stare at me or my husband and not the person holding them.  Now they are toddlers and there is no question we are attached!

Answer 9

direct eye contact

reaching for you

smiling at you

cries when you put them down

That's about all i can remember its been awhile since i've had a baby.

skin to skin contact is really important.