Adult figure skaters: does your club or rink make you feel unwanted and unappreciated?

Question

I read an article in last month's Skating magazine that emphasized what an asset to clubs adult skaters are. Adult skaters can volunteer their time, serve on boards and help out with events more than the kids in the club. It saddened me because the clubs here treat adults almost like they have no business skating. My club is quick to cut adult events at competitions, does not offer any programs that adults can participate in and while helping at club sanctioned events, one adult skater heard judges go on about how much they dislike watching adult skaters. Even though I skated growing up and continue to skate, teach, test and compete, I don't feel like I fit in. I hate freestyle sessions because of how some younger skaters act -- even though I've been skating longer than they've been alive! I'm not sure if I'm just being too self-conscious, if it's just my area/club or what. Anybody else run into similar situations? Anyone try anything to improve your situation?

Answer 1

I'm 15 and just began taking ice skating lessons, and although I'm not an adult, I'm still older than a lot of the skaters there. But at the rink I go to, I don't think that adults feel unwanted or unappreciated at all. They have teen/adult classes, which is what I'm in, and they have different levels, just like the younger kids. They even have a public skate time just for people 18 and over so that little kids don't bother them, and they have certain things just for adults. And I know you never mentioned hockey, but the rink I go to has many adult leagues and I see people of all ages ice skating all the time. Maybe not all rinks are like this, but mine is, I'm sorry your rink isn't. :( That's really rude of the people there to treat adults like that. People of all ages, even adults, should be able to enjoy the ice rink because it's for the public. I hope things change for you!

Good luck :)

Answer 2

Ohhhhhh - HOT topic pinksk8ergal! :P  

I guess it's sort of a mix where I am . . . it depends on who you talk to and what rink they're from, it seems.  Luckily there are several rinks around and adult skating is pretty popular - AND we have some outspoken USFSA adult skaters involved heavily on the political side.  It'd be difficult to shove us "adults" to the side out here, but yep, we definitely have many moments of feeling exactly what you feel.

I would think all clubs are appreciative of the adult volunteer efforts - afterall the clubs need willing people to do all these tasks and why not a responsible adult.  But it sucks that the appreciation is for their services to the club - that type of involvement with skating - not really the skating itself.

  

My club is very large and very political. Honestly I never knew what the club actually did most times because it was too big to get personal with its skaters (except for the young upcoming skaters who could make a name for the club).  Then again, I tried to stay out of the whole political scene because it seemed too vicious.  I think they allowed adults events as long as there were enough entries - that wasn't a problem for the most part I think. But there were definitely behind-the-scene issues by those who felt adults shouldn't skate (grrr!).  

One coach told me it's so dumb to not support adult skating . . . don't they at least realize it could mean more money for the club?!  We don't make a name for the club like the Olympic bound kids, but we can sure stand out in the adult world of skating.  More business for the rink too - duh!  

One of the "competitive" rinks out here finally enforced strict rules for freestyle sessions a few years ago and a skater will now get kicked off if need be (yay!).  But with some other rinks, you're thrown into the wolves (they all have rules, but are loosely enforced).  I've had brats jump or brush so close to me purposely while zooming by (like they think they're going to scare me) . . . or they'd give me the eye and kick the ice or yell choice words if I happen to get in "their" way (like it's my fault they didn't land their jump) . . . immature stunts like that. I wouldn't let them get the best of me.  If it were truly my fault, I always apologized . . . otherwise, I just smiled and kept on going.  Funny thing is, I'm a lefty skater, so that didn't really help the situation either :P!  

This may sound a lot like Skatin's story. Once I was in an ISI competition - skating against the book.  Well, I was clumped up with a bunch of little girls in warm up, so even though I was in my own category, to the masses it looked like we were all competing against each other.  My friend honestly told me the snickering she heard in the audience when I went up . . . like who does she think she is and such (well, I was trying to be s**y - skating to Peggy Lee's "Fever" amongst the kiddie programs, so that probably did not help!).  On that note, my "home" rink tried to clump the adult categories together so no adult would feel out of place like that.  Some rinks "think" of issues like that - others never give it a thought.

I just wanted to skate - for me.  I knew there were some brats (or even some coaches) around me who saw me as a thorn on the ice - but I paid the same amount for the same ice time, so I felt I had every right to be there, just as they were.  I skated regularly on early morning sessions with some onlooking parents (near my age!) who sometimes had those annoying negative sounding "why do you skate" questions . . . and I'd reply "well why don't you skate" with a smile.  I had the scoop on what judges/political peeps were for adult skating or not . . . and my attitude was I was going to skate my best and LOVE it no matter what their "opinions" were about my skating . . . score or pick apart my skating as you will.  I wasn't skating for the judges.          

As for some of the kids attitudes, in time, many got to know me personally and got off my back about giving those silly attitudes.  Or if they saw I was getting to be friends with their parents - they'd become nicer too - ha ha.  And some kids just kept staying huffy puffy at me and for what?  Hopefully they got some anger management lessons down the road.  

Like I said, there are outspoken adults who are politically active here. They've encouraged other skaters to join them and now there are more adults represented on the board.  Several of my friends have "volunteered" to take over the club newsletter . . . and they've made sure to include the achievements of adults and push articles about the adult skaters to hopefully make the unaware aware!   We do count, folks!

OT - I wonder why they ended adults from being able to skate Regionals? Someone told me they had trouble getting judges to come in early to judge adults skating (they always had us skate mornings).  Grrrr.  

This is an eyeful - but I do take the subject to heart - wink!!  I don't know that I answered the question, but those are my ramblings about it.  I do hope your situation there improves!!

Answer 3

I skate in England and have done since the late nineties. The first rink I went to had a good size adult attendance, primarily with the recreational ice dance club and the younger skaters there saw this as the norm but when I moved back to my home town and went to skate at the closest rink to me, I felt like an exhibit from Ripley's Believe it or Not! It took me six months to get people to warm to me and then it was only a few of the skating mothers. The others, although they would be civil to your face gave off the attitude that how dare you be on the same ice as my kids and I was only 24 at the time but most of the skaters there were under 18. Those that showed any talent soon move to another rink with better facilities. Even my coach that although was friendly and helpful had the attitude that no one wants to see an old has-been skating around. It was only thanks really to one small boy who was about 11 at the time had an insatiable curiosity started asking me questions about me and my career. He never questioned that I was an adult beginner and this seemed to break the ice like a jackhammer with alot of the parents and their kids. Thankfully, adult skating in the UK has boomed with the advent of "Dancing on Ice" on tv and so it isn't the "Freak show" that alot of skate mothers once deemed it to be.

Answer 4

We are very appreciated at my rink. I am very luky.

Answer 5

Oh man, do I hear you!  I totally know what you're saying.  That must have been horrible to hear that coming from judges. I've heard moms of skaters say similar things about adults in competitions, something along the lines of "now we have to wait while that woman relives her childhood" when an adult event was put between some of the younger categories at an ISI competition.  I don't think this woman knows I skate as well (I've never competed) but wow, was I insulted.  I knew the lady who was skating and how hard she works.  I said something like, "Actually, that's Ann and she is really dedicated. She's working on doubles which is a lot more than I can do."  That shut her up!

It is completely frustrating.  We don't have any adult sessions at our rink.  I don't think that would be necessary but the problem is that sessions devoted to MITF or Dance are taken over by the same young teens practicing Freestyle and they don't enforce it.  At our rink the ones practicing dance are mostly adults, and the kids in freestyle are too wrapped up in their work to get to know the dances enough to know where the pattern is going to end up.  

There's a general feeling that adult issues are on the back burner. I know all the ice dancers at our rink are fed up because they only get 1 or 2 sessions a week and they have to break the patterns because of someone setting up their lutz or doing a camel spin.  

On a positive note, some of the coaches here take adults seriously (or take their money seriously, if you want to be cynical).  Some won't take adults as students but plenty do.  Our pro shop is run by an excellent technician who takes adult skate issues very seriously.   And lastly, those of us who skate have learned to ignore the serious Skate Moms. I think we're so much better off skating because we appreciate how difficult it is instead of the moms who just push their kids constantly with no understanding of what it takes to do an element.  Plus, we have something to do other than gossip in the stands.

Answer 6

i figure skated competatively for 16 years and never felt like i 'fit in' there. fact of the matter is a lot of clubs are filled with..well...snobs...rich people who think they are better than everyone else. my family were never 'rich'. we were well off but didnt have nearly as much money that these people had and because of that..we were looked down on, talked about behind our backs, and made felt uncomfotable by people that should have been considered friends. i saw it amongst the adult crowd too. if you werent taking lessons from the best coaches, home schooled, and spending 80 hours a week in the rink...you just werent accepted. as sad as it is...its like this in many rinks...