Adult sister distancing herself from me

Question

My sister is two years younger than me. We're both in our 30s and married with families of our own. We live just a few blocks from each other, but she rarely calls me -- and always makes an excuse to hang up quickly when I call her. And she'll always promise to call back once she's not busy anymore but, as you probably guessed, I rarely get a return call.

Likewise.... she never invites me anywhere, and seems to have an excuse ready whenever I try to invite her out. I would chalk it up to simply being a busy mom, but she always seems to make time for her friends and acquaintances. I can't imagine she treats other people as rudely as she treats me, so why does she think it's ok to treat me like this???

I know I have not done anything to upset her. It just seems as if she is distancing herself from me and I can't figure it out. If I try to talk to her about it, she just makes light of it, and makes me feel as if I'm being overly sensitive. So the subject gets dropped, as I don't want to make myself seem "desperate" for her attention. Know what I mean?

But in my heart of hearts, this truly bothers me. We don't have much family on our side anymore and I don't want us to lose each other. I just feel like I simply don't matter to her anymore. Have you ever gone through something like this? Can you think of a way I can approach this without causing a fight?

Answer 1

just because you share parents wont cause you to be friends

she is living her life as she chooses and you need to accept that is how it is going to be

Answer 2

try to talk to her,and ask if something is wrong

Answer 3

I have known someone that has gone through this kind of situation,and my advice to you is  to write her a letter ,that expresses your  feelings and mail it to her,then see if she responds to your letter,Give her space, stop calling her ,and don't visit or invite her anywhere.It may hurt you and i know that you don't want to lose your sister,but you can't make her want to be apart of your life if she does want to.As long as you're open , and you know that you have done your best to make the relationship work, it's up to her to make the next move.Good luck.

Answer 4

It is sad. : (

Well, the only thing you can do is to tell her that you miss her, that you love her, that you are really ready to listen to her if she has a grudge on you or if she doesn't agree with you on something that is important for her, and that you'll always be there for her.

People change with age and I hope your sister will change too and "come back" to you. People usually do become closer to family members when they get more mature and after have learned how to live together.

I guess you will have to wait a little.   : )