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Adults only need you opinion on my boyfriends 11yr old?

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Okay heres the story im am currently 21 and im dating a 31 year old for 7 months our relationship is getting serious...anyway so me and his 11 yr old daughter get along well. On saturday me and her decided to go eat at a restaurant when she asked me "Do you plan on having any kids?" I responded by laughing and saying why are you asking me that your scaring me and i than assured her no i dont want want any of my own for now... She was blushing and smiling. Anyway why would she get that idea and ask me that ? Do you guys think her mother has been telling her things? I dont knwo need help.....

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  1. She's 11.  And you are a new girl in her dad's life.  She is probably really curious about you and who you are.  Just answer her the best way you see fit (don't say that she's scaring you though...just answer the question), and then leave it at that.

    If it becomes obvious that her mother is making her ask you these things to try and find out more about you, then mention it to your boyfriend if it starts to bother you.  Other than that, just focus on forming a relationship with this 11 year old.


  2.   She's  afraid  if  you  and  her  father  have  children  then  all  the  attention  will  be  taken  away  from  her.  Children  get  insecure  and  jealous  when  the  new  mom  or  dad  have  kids.  

  3. maybe she was just simply asking if she might have some siblings  

  4. At 11, she's well aware of your age difference and how serious the relationship is getting.  It's a logical question- kids just usually have the guts to ask it.

  5. maybe she wants a little sister and has accepted you in the "mommy" role! That's a good thing =D

  6. im pretty sure that she thinks her father and you will get married.

    so im pretty sure she is curious if she will have siblings.!

  7. As a potential step-child of yours it's important for her to try to figure out how she will fit in if you and her father get married.

    When my wife and I were dating I felt my relationship with her two girls (9 and 11 at the time) was solid and I could accept them as "my own."

    After the marriage things changed. The biological father is extremely jealous and fills their minds with half truths/outright lies. It is tough stay on good terms with them.

    Also, when my own child was born I learned what "my own" really meant. I don't think I could ever feel the way about someone else's child as I do about my biological child.

    I didn't plan on feeling different about him. But I really do!

    So, even though I do my best to support the girls my own child is number 1 in my heart. It is nature.

    Kids are pretty smart. She already knows that things change when people get married and start living together. And I think she senses that your intentions are pure. But, if you have your own children she may become more of a traditional "step child."

    Good luck.

    If you love him it's worth trying to work things out.

    If I had it to do over again, though, I would not marry someone with children who's biological father was above snakes.

  8. i think she might want to have some1 to play w/ u know. a sibling!

  9. she probably has noticed that you and her dad are getting close and was just inquiring . the one thing about kids is that will ask the most embarassing questions when you least expect it .  

  10. It's perfectly normal, and reasonable, for your boyfriend's daughter to be curious about whether or not you and her dad are going to start a family of your own. I felt that way when MY STEPDAD married my mom ( I was 9 at the time) and there is nothing wrong with her asking you such a question. She probably just wants to know if she's going to become a big sister at some point, or she's worried that if her dad starts a family with you, then it will mean that she will lose him. These concerns are hardly unreasonable- I can easily put myself in girl's place, because I have been there myself.

    I seriously doubt your boyfriend's ex wife has told her daughter to ask you a question like this- in fact, unless you or your boyfriend have told her about your relationship, it's likely that she may not even know about it. Even if she does, the odds that she would pay attention to something like this are slim to remote at best, unless, of course, she sees evidence that her daughter is being abused in some way. After all, your relationship with her ex-husband is none of her business.

    I would relax- this was just an innocent question. Your boyfriend's daughter has a right to know what's coming, in both her own life and her dad's. It's not easy to deal with conflicting parental loyalties- and she is probably having a hard enough time facing the fact that her parents are never going to get back together- without you trying to read more into this situation than is necessary.  

  11. Because kids are nosy!  

  12. No she was probably just curious to see if she would have any brothers or sisters...


  13. Well you know kids, they ask the weirdest things. Well I mean it might sound weird to you but she probably didn't think that it was such a big deal. Who knows maybe she wants siblings.  

  14. So I'm 19 but deal with lots of kids (cousins, family friends, etc)

    It sounds like she's just curious about you and her dad's relationship and wanted to know if there was a chance of her getting a little brother or sister.

  15. She was probably trying to get to know you and possibly your intentions with her dad. maybe she wanted reassurance that you were not going to have a baby with her dad (leaving her nose out of joint).

    Don't read too much into this as children are usually very curious and tend to speak their mind.

    It does not mean her mother has put her up to asking these questions.

  16. No i don't think that is why. At 11 years old you understand relationships and she was probably just curious thats all. But she must feel very comfortable around you to be able to ask you, and I think that says alot about the relationship you have with her. :)

  17. She probably wanted to know if she was gunna have a new brother or sister.  

  18. i don't think it means anything. she was just being a curious kid

  19. She was just wondering

  20. She most probably just wondered if she was gunna have any brothers and sisters

  21. She's old enough to put that together herself.  
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