Adults who are abused!

Question

What makes a person stay in the abuse? Why do they feel the way they do? What makes the abuser think its okay to do the abusing?Where does this stim from? When is enough going to be enough?

Answer 1

There are a number of things that make someone stay when they're being abused.  Fear is a common factor with most.  The abuser has established an intimidation factor, whether physically, emotionally, financially, or a combination.  They also often feel religious pressure to make a marriage work, or to forgive the person.  Sometimes the problem is that they truly love the person and want to help them, and can't figure out a way to do that if they leave.  Some are afraid of being alone.  Some are threatened that if they leave they will be killed or they'll lose their children.  Some simply financially can't afford to be on their own.  There are an infinite number of reasons.

Who can say what makes the abuser feel it's okay?  There are a number of reasons for this as well, but it's nearly impossible for someone who thinks rationally to buy into any of the excuses.  The fact is, someone who is willing to abuse someone they claim to love is not well-balanced emotionally, and is not thinking rationally.  They convince themselves the person they're abusing deserves what they're getting.  No one deserves to be hit.