Advice Please...... My fiance doesn't know and either do I

Question

My fiance and I live in different states. He has a history of cheating and I feel in my gut he still is cheating. I have asked him and he denies he is doing anything wrong.

We don't even talk lately. He texts me all day but never calls. I call, he doesn't answer the phone. So today I asked him what was going on and he texted back "we will have to talk about that when you come. I don't know anymore."

So,I think he is cheating, like I said, I went to my reader and she confirmed to me her was with three woman names starting with a M, R and S. I got sick to my stomach. It confirmed what I already knew. He tells me he is playing ball and then I find out from friends he wasn't there, but insists that he was.

I am suppose to be going there for 10 days. I don't want to go! He "needs" me to come. Told me that he wants to have "s*x", needs money and use of one of my cars.

I think it's best I stay home and end things with him now! I don't believe he even cares about me at all. I feel used and betrayed. I have forgiven him so many times and never have cheated on him nor would I. I know I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he keeps doing this.

Please help. Tell me I'm doing the right thing.

Answer 1

he sounds like a bug a boo, or a scrub either way it equals j*** a**. lose him and sell the house.

Answer 2

Definitely!  If I was you I would dump him in a heart beat.  Why would you want to be with a guy who makes you feel "used and betrayed"?  That's not love.  If you talk to him and he admits he has a problem and plans to fix it, consider giving him a chance, but if he keeps lying to you he doesn't deserve you.   Leave him.

Answer 3

if he is cheating then ur doing the right thing to end it now.

but if he is not cheating...

maybe he is just fed up with you not trusting him. i wouldnt marry someone who was constantly doubting me.

Answer 4

I would go get your stuff from his house sweetie, he is cheating. If he has done it before what would stop him from doing it again? I know it will be hard, but it would probably be for the best because you sound like you deserve so much better. Don't marry that guy. Good luck.  

Answer 5

Go with your intuition, it's not usually wrong.  He 'needs' you for s*x, money and use of your car!  

Break this off now, while you still have your dignity.  You will find someone who 'needs' you because he loves, misses you and has his own bank account.

Answer 6

Yes you should stay home and end it now.  Do not fall for his game. Of course he is going to lie to you to keep you around.

If it sounds and doesn't feel right then it probably isn't.

Good Luck...

Answer 7

Sounds like he cant be trusted. you deserve better. leave him.

Answer 8

your doing the right thing.

(i don't even know u, but i do know u deserve better than him)

Answer 9

if he cant be trusted do NOT stay with him

you deserve SOOO much better

believe me

if its right you will know

Answer 10

What a loser. I am sorry that you are going through this with this guy. It is obvious that you don't need to marry him. He only wants you to come see him for s*x and money. That is no relationship.

Don't talk to him or text him anymore, except to say, I guess it just isn't going to work out. Don't give him your address. Maybe you could sell the home in that state and stay where you are?

Answer 11

You write: I think it's best I stay home and end things with him now! I don't believe he even cares about me at all. I feel used and betrayed.

Well then, there is your answer.  

If you truly think it is best to stay home and end the relationship now, then that is what you should do.

Answer 12

I think you can end things with him for a different reason.

You can't or don't trust him. Do you really want to feel this way for the rest of your life? What if he is innocent? Do you want him to always feel accused? What if you're right? Do you want to be cheated on?

In my opinion you two have a lot of issues to work through BEFORE you get married. If you're both willing to work it out (through counseling, communication, openness to try) then maybe you can work this out.

But as long as you can't or don't trust him this will never work. Your "happily ever after" won't be so happy after all.

Answer 13

If you feel he's cheating on you and you feel you can't trust him, break it off now. Trust is the main thing in a relationship, if you can't trust him, you shouldn't be with him. Once a cheater always a cheater and it sounds to me like he's using you. Find someone in your own area for a relationship, there are lots of guys, you just have to find one. I found mine at the convienence store when my car wouldn't start, he gave me a jump, insisted I take his phone #, I thought he was cute so I gave him mine, he called me that night to make sure I made it home okay, asked me out to eat the next evening and we've been dating since and are now engaged.  

Answer 14

He wants to have s*x, needs money and wants your car.  Give him the number to an escort service, a car rental and mail him a dollar.  Spend the rest of the money on a new hairdo and some lingerie and tell him "goodbye".

Answer 15

Don't give him the power to use you, then dump you.

Take control and end it.

If he 'needs' you, let him pay and visit you... otherwise you are going to pay for 10 days of misery and come home empty.

Tell him its over, be strong, move on and congratulate yourself on not becoming his victim.

You deserve much better!

Answer 16

Seriously? Why are you engaged to a man you don't trust, like, know or understand? A cheater, and man who is clearly just using you for "s*x, money and one of your cars"??

Your reader only told you what you already know -- you are engaged to a no good loser. Break the engagement, don't go to see him, and sell the ring to see if you can buy back some of your dignity.

Answer 17

It sounds like that saying once a cheater always a cheater.Go with your gut instinct. You feel in your heart he is than more than likely he is. I would say you already know what to do. He sounds like a user namely using you. You don't want something that you can't get off. So get rid of him and find something better. I know you can. You deserve better. If you stay with him thinking  yes it will get better then your the one who's going to get hurt. Do what you know is right.  

Answer 18

Oh course your doing the right thing!  Think of it like this, your not going to find your prince if you keep kissing this frog!  Time to move on!  Cancel your trip and save your money and time- it's worth more then what this guy is worth!

Good Luck!!

Answer 19

i think that if he has a history of cheating and that he is lying to you about his where abouts, then maybe you should call the wedding off and have a deep talk with him regarding the situation. you shouldn't go through with it knowing he is cheating on you. you should go there and talk with him but don't stay there or let him use any of your items.

he shouldn't be that busy to at least call you once a day. if he can text you, he surely can call you.  

Answer 20

You said the answer yourself:

"I think it's best I stay home and end things with him now! "

follow your gut instinct on this, dont ruin your life because you feel sorry for someone else. You will get through this and be ok, and you will be so glad you made this decision when you meet someone who deserves you and treats you right. No matter what he says break it off and DO NOT MARRY HIM. Stop talking to him after you break it off as well because he sounds like he is the kind of guy who would guilt trip you/stalk you, etc etc.  

Answer 21

Holy Ice Skating Jesus of Nazareth.  

Answer 22

OMG you soooo need to leave him. I was you once. I know it will hurt... but he is an ***. And I know you don't want to believe this, but in  a while you will find it hard to believe you ever even cared for him. It will be so amazing when you find someone who cares for you truly, and you didn't have to think twice about them cheating on you! trust me I PROMISE you, you will be happier with time if you leave him!

Answer 23

I think you need to move on because this guy is no good and will not change but I almost feel like you need some kind of closure. Going there doesn't mean you have to stay the entire 10 days. Can't you go just to talk with him, end it in person and then come home?  

Answer 24

You are absolutely right! Leave him! If you can't trust him now, what kind of future will you have together? Be strong and cut him loose!

Answer 25

Leave this guy alone! He is using you for s*x, money, and transportation. I can explain why he's not answering his phone. He's probably around other girls and it's easier to text you because you want hear their voices. If I was you I would end it now. If you go and give this guy these things you are going to end up feeling like a fool. Hope you do the right thing and good luck!!    

Answer 26

The evidence points to the fact that the relationship is over. Texting is not the same as talking to each other. He should want to hear your voice. It seems to me that he wants you to visit so he can use you for s*x, money, and cars.

I am sorry but I do not put much weight in what your "reader" says, but if that what it takes for you to leave this loser, then all the more power to her.

You are doing the right thing.

Answer 27

leave him now and dont go anywhere near him! obviosly he is cheating...hes just gonna use you more...you should slap him hard on the face if you lies to your face if he comes to see you,, girl you deserve better then that and you know you do

Answer 28

"I think it's best I stay home and end things with him now! I don't believe he even cares about me at all. I feel used and betrayed. I have forgiven him so many times and never have cheated on him nor would I. I know I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he keeps doing this."

you said everything you need to know right here.  

Answer 29

Don't let him get the best of you by giving him everything you got. I would cut him off cold turkey. Send him the divorce papers and if you need closure write him a letter explaining to him why you are such a good women and why he doesn't deserve you, because if you let yourself make closure in person or over the phone, he may suck you back into his claws. Because obviously you have deep feelings for him to keep taking him back, so just avoid that temptation. In your letter let him know he has a certain amount of time to come pick up his stuff or send money so you can send him his stuff. If he doesn't by ( a reasonable date ) throw it away. Make sure the you send it the route that has him sign it saying he recieved the letter that way he can't say he never got it. And move on.

You should never have to say the person I love has been betraying me and cheating on me.

Answer 30

You know exactly what you want to do and need to do.  

It won't be easy at first but it is the right thing to do.  You deserve to be happy, not miserable.

Good luck.

Answer 31

Sweety, you answered your own question...LEAVE HIM! No woman deserves to go through that, he is not being honest with you, he is not communicating with you properly, and he only wants you to come visit him so he can use you. Leave him, what reason would you have to stay? So yes, you have made the right decision.