Advice Please - My son keeps pooing in his pants!?

Question

I have a three and a half year old. Before we went away he was well potty trained. Whilst on holiday he had an upset stomach and couldn't hold himself in and this went on for about a week or so. He is now better but seems to think it is ok to poo in his pants. I've gone back to basics with him and nothing seems to be working. He'll wee in the toilet but when it comes to the other he is just happy to do it in his pants and then tell me afterwards about it. I know this is stressing him out cause he always up in tears whilst I'm clearing him up. Any advice please. Thanks

Answer 1

I think I would follow up with a doctor just to clear that it is behavioral and not a lingering physical issue.

Answer 2

I know this is going to sound mean however it will work. Make him clean himself up. He will not want to do it after a while. By making him do it he will need to do it ALL taking the soiled pants off cleaning himself off and putting clean ones on make him get the clothes and underwear himself. Then washing out the soiled pants.

While he is doing it explain to him that it is not a fun thing to do and he has been making you do it. Ask him if he wants to clean up you if you made a mess in your pants. Kids find that grotesque. After 1-2 times he should stop.

Just do not yell at him. IF it is possible that something happened to him ie physical or emotional trauma there is likely a deeper reasoning behind it. Children tend to lash out in ways that they CAN control. Most children feel that they have no control over their lives and "accidents" is something they CAN control. Good Luck

Answer 3

if this happens around a pretty predictable time everyday (ie if he tends to go in the morning, after he eats, w/e) make sure to regularly and constantly ask him if he needs to use the potty. if he tells you no, and then goes in his pants, it may be best to punish him. nothing major of course - a time out or a stern "don't do that." if you don't think this is the route to go, set up a reward system where every time he poos in the toilet he work toward a new toy or a fun activity.

Answer 4

Aw poor guy,he has obviously gotten the idea stuck in his head that it is ok to poo in his pants and may be he is afraid that he wont make the toilet in time. I suggest awarding him every time he goes to the toilet buy stickers and make a chart for every time he poo's in the toilet. . . Praise him when he even trys to go to the loo, dont pay to much attention to him if he soils his pants and definitaly dont punnish him, this hopefully will make him want to be praised from you therefor he will hopefully use the toilet.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I think you need to have a good long talk with him about it - and be strict. He can't go on thinking that this is acceptable. If he does it, scold him and redirect him. When he poos in the potty/toilet then praise him. He will put 2 and 2 together soon enough.

Good luck love.

x

Answer 6

You should never scold him for it . Its very common for kids to do this . Put him back in a nappy until he gets back into the swing of things . dont push it.

Answer 7

Don't Put Him Back In Nappies, Don't Punish Him,and Please Don't make him feel ashamed of this.

Yes Of Course You Have To Talk to him and tell him what he is doing is wrong.

But For The Most Part Try Not To React At All.

Encourage him as much as possible to use the

potty and Praise Him When He Does.

You Will be surprised at how quickly he will want to be clean again,once he realises there is no Big Deal Going On For Soiling Himself!

Answer 8

I know it sound awful but I did this with my 4 yr old daughter as she started it. I put a nappy back on her after she had done it once and told her she would have to wear it for playgroup. She never did it again. That was 7 months ago now. Best wishes and don't worry its more common than you think.

Answer 9

Don't punish him. It is laughable to even suggest that! While it may ultimately lead to correcting the problem, it may also create anxiety and worry when there need not be. It sounds as though he is already quite anxious about it, and this isn't likely to help.

If he stools at the same time each day, then keep time and keep him around or on the potty at that time. Work out a rewards program for succesful movements on the potty.

If he should stool in his pants, make a protracted, long "clean up". Not as punishment, but as an inconveinience. He can't play while he is dirty, and clean up is important.

As hygene is important, putting him back in diapers or pull-ups would help; but it is not a long-term solution or punishment; this is just to help keep the f***s contained and off of the clothing, furnature, etc. Again, this isn't a punishment and he shouldn't be made to feel like he is a "baby" because he has to wear diapers again.

If he is still quite anxious and stressed, then drop the issue all together and just work with diapers for a week or two, then start over. No harm, no foul. Cheers!

Answer 10

I have potty trained 36 kids. The best advice I can give ya is...every time he poops or pees himself....punish him. Even at the age of 3. Put him on the naughty chair for 3 min and walk away. Say nothing and walk away. When the time is up...tell him why he was punished....ask for an appology...and then talk to him about the potty. When he poops and pees himself...make him help you change him. So he will experience how disgusting it really is.

When he uses the potty then reward him with candy or something....lots of praise! He will love that, but be CONSISTANT!