Advice about an insecure boyfriend?

Question

I'm currently long-distance dating a guy that I met while I was doing a summer abroad in England. We dated for a month while I was there, and he wanted to continue the relationship, so I agreed. The problem is, he hints at the fact that he's intimidated by me. People have outright informed him (sometimes even while I am right there!) that he "doesn't deserve me" or his friends have told both of us that I "could do better." We come from different socio-economic backgrounds, and I guess I would be considered more attractive than he is (looks really don't matter though). I'm going to Oxford University in the fall, and he works as a mechanic and lives with his parents. None of this bothers me in the least, yet he continually puts himself down and compares his supposed shortcomings to my achievments. I think I could easily fall for this guy (he's funny, sweet, and extremely intelligent. I tell him all of this on an almost daily basis as well), but I don't want to be with him if it's going to hurt him. What can I do to convince him that he "deserves" me and looks/education are not an issue?

Thanks for any advice you can provide :)

Answer 1

I recommend that you have a quiet chat with him. Be serious and tell him that you really like him and that looks and background do not matter, it's what is on the inside that counts. Ignore these immature friends of his that think looks are so important when it comes to relationships.

I think if you're ever put in that situation where people tell you that he "doesn't deserve you" even if he is right there, you should stand up for both of you and explain that these are not factors. We don't live in a world where social economic classes have to stay together, we can mix.

Some people are very insecure, you can help him by build his confidence. Try to make him realise that you like him for him. You probably feel you've already told him this already but if you take a more serious tone hopefully he will too.

Well done for getting into Oxford. Hope this helps, good luck. :-)