Advice about relationship....25 and over please...

Question

my bf of 2.5 years broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. he's 28, i'm 26...i really love him and we had a wonderful 2.5 years!!!..we work together & still see e/o at work...he stops by my office in the morning, and talks to me like before, though no hugs or kisses. when he wants to get lunch he asks me if i want anything or we walk together like before...he waits for me and walks me to my car everyday & gives me a hug...just like before...we don't see eachother outside of work anymore, &he doesn't call/text like he used to...there's a camping trip that's coming up that we talked about last week (that has been planned for about a year)...& i asked him if i was still going to go...& he answered with "we'll see." (he's not interested in anyone else, and wanted to marry me a yr ago, but i didn't move in..) what do you make of his way of being with me?do you think there's a chance of us getting back together? how would you approach it??

i'm in the process of changing my job..and am really excited about it, and have let him know. on wednesday while walking to my car we were talking about instinct and how he's always told me to go with them. i put my arm around his arm when it was in his pocket and we walked a few blocks like that, and i put my head on his shoulder as we were walking...and it was like old times. i did this again yesterday...do you think we have a chance at getting back together? pls help. thanks!

he said when he was breaking up that he loves me but he's not in love with me. i had left him at work one day a couple months back bc i was upset with him...he said since that day he's been thinking that if we were to have another argument in the future, he wouldn't be able to handle me leaving him like that. he asked me to move in a yr ago, but i still hadn't...but i was at his house every weekend and we hung out...we were perfect for eachother....he said in our break up conversation that he was content but not happy.he thought he could make me happy...but he couldn't... i was complaing a LOT about my job for the last few months.

Answer 1

From what you said, it's seems that you 2 had a great 2.5 yrs, but it sounds that he's fallen out of love.. I think its time for you to move on with your life.. you'll meet another special guy, and you'll be ok...

Answer 2

If this isn't working out for you or for him then I'm sorry but you have to let him go period.

Answer 3

Once he says "I love you, but I'm not in love with you"- you should know that things are no longer the same. He may do everything the same, but there may be empty feelings behind it. I will say, that if you both work hard enough at it, you can definitely end up back together...........but it will NEVER be the same. NEVER. I know you still love him- which is normal- 2.5 years is a very long time.........but you still love him because you still see him. Out of sight, out of mind. Try and work at it for a while, but keep your eyes open for any signs- and don't ignore your heart when it tells you it's time to move on.

Answer 4

i think that arguement you both had really hurt him and he is not willing to forgive you. i beleived that mens don't forgive like woman do. when they are hurt they seems to hold on and so times moves on without facing the promblem head on. i am going threw something like you,but it my bofriend grown daughter she will not let him go and i think he is breaking up with me about that. but if you can get your boyfriend to open up and talk about it.maybe then you can move on with your lives.

Answer 5

If you guys were together for 2 and a half years and hes telling you that he is NOT in love with you, its time to let go.

Answer 6

hun I hate to be the bearer of bad news but he seems like he is moving in another direction.  I know it will be tough but you should too

Answer 7

This is so familiar. I'm 32 and I was in a five year relationship that ended last year. You should move on.  Don't let your heart get strung along......i'm still waiting and it's over a year...he has me at a distance. I'm lucky that I have male friends that I can talk to about this, they say if you are making yourself available they will never want you back. Not saying that maybe you wont get back together with him but keep your options open.

Answer 8

There is a saying that says 'if he cant handle me at my worst , he doesn't deserve me at my best'.  Everyone in one time or another  deals with stress at work, he obviously doesn't know how to handle you at your worst, which happens very frequently once you are already living together.   I think you should do what your head tells u. We cant tell you what to do, but we can open your mind with different views. Personally I think that he needs space,  and you by being around him and hanging on him like old times you are not giving him that time to think.

Answer 9

Just move on... take on the sweet times and don't mess with them. Let him go. If he comes back, he's yours. If not, better for you.

Best

Answer 10

i think he broke up with you bc you are moving too slow for him and he thinks that if he just leaves you for a while that you will come and run to him like you NEED him. just move on or if you are definite that he is the one than talk to him in a not so weird way.

Answer 11

Good news that you are moving on to a new job.  Youe ex has some communication problems and he is the only one who can resolve that problem. Until he does there is no hope of a reconciliation.

Answer 12

My advice is, he broke up with you for a reason and if you get back together with him he may brake up with you again for the same reason. It may be harder and worse then the last time. Him dumping you is a message ...'' we had a great time but we need to move on '' I hope it helps..if you need someone to talk to e-mail me at [e-mail]