Advice- daughter having problem making friends?

Question

My almost 8 year old daughter was in tears tonight sobbing because since she's switched schools this year- she doesn't have any friends and one day at recess her reading buddy was gossiping about her to another friend and they didnt realize she was standing right there and the girl said she hated her. What can I do? I feel horrible she isn't making any friends- but not sure what to do. Her last school was a charter school and it was much smaller and a completely different atmospher=- her new school is 4x as big and it has a reputation for being 'stuck up' and 'yuppy'. I need some advice- i was overweight when i was young and had the same issue finding friends- and this is breaking my heart.. i dont know how to help her!

Answer 1

tell her to stay away from them the real friends will come by them self.keep her busy like soccer team or some and she is gonna have  lots of friends and she will also will learn alot.

Answer 2

Get her out of there...change schools...get her into a drama class to build her confidence...at 8 you can turn this around....dont wait it out or she'll get worse.....her little ego needs to be built up and she needs to know that she is worthy and will have friends in the future....

Answer 3

take her out to a museum to cheer her up . Perhaps look for activities where she can have other friends besides school . Like the girls/ boys club , girl scouts , sports , dance .... something to get her confidence up and running again.

Answer 4

You should try to get her involved in other things outside of school--soccer, dance, karate, children's theatre. There are probably loads of local options in your area, at a YMCA or maybe your town has town sports teams. That might not help her with not having friends at school, which is definitely hard, but at least she will have friends in other places so she won't be so down on herself. It will help her realize that others really do like her, and that its just the people in her school that are missing out.

Answer 5

I would talk to her teacher and let her know that she's having a hard time adjusting and meeting friends.Maybe the teacher could give her a new reading buddy.I know at my daughters school the teacher will have the kids work together with different kids everyday.That might help so she can get to know some of the other kids.

Good luck

Answer 6

We just moved last year. My sister was a year older than ur daughter.  Sometimes things just take time.  Tell her to try and get to know people better.  Get her started in after school activities.  She'll eventually get some friends!!  I really hope everything works out for her!!

Answer 7

If I were you I would plan a little party for her and invite all the girls from her class over for a pizza and a movie party, or something to that effect.  That way you can see if these girls are really mean to your daughter or if you even want your daughter to be friends with these girls.  My mom did this with me when I started at a new school and it was great.  We bonded and had stuff to talk about the next week which really helped break the ice. Have fun!

Answer 8

I had her problem.  My mom put me into stuff like girl scouts and just little clubs that I would make friends.  My heart goes out to your daughter because I know personally how she feels and it's not a good feeling.  This is a transition period.  Be her friend until she finds some.  Take her out (like a girls night out )maybe once or twice a week.  She'll love you for it, and when she finds friends at her new school, she won't forget that you're her first friend.  As for what the little girl said to her...if she told your daughter she hated her, the next time she says it, tell your daughter to tell her "well, you may hate me, but Jesus loves you and so do I!"  and walk away.  One thing I've learned, bullies can't stand it when you beat them at their own game and they don't like it when you aren't affected by their words or actions.

Answer 9

perhaps ask if she wants to do some out of school activities. if you force her to try and make friends you will push her socially away.

i would definately try to put her in after school activities.  perhaps swimming? soccer girls tend to be kinda b*tchy so watch out there.

Answer 10

Maybe you can have a party for her.  Invite the kids from school.  Allow the other kids a chance to get to know your daughter outside of the school environment.  Just make sure you supervise the party closely so that you can facilitate the play, and make sure your daughter is not left out at her own party or is being treated nasty.

Keep in mind that children at this age have a hard time with change.  Your daughter is having to change by leaving her friends and going into a completely different environment and these kids now have a new student in their class.  Everyone is dealing with change and these students may not know how to handle it either.  

You may want to talk to the teacher and see if she can help facilitate relationship building in the classroom as well.  Sometimes the way to the kids is through the parents, so if you can get friendly with some of the girl's parents in your daughter's class maybe then you can plan some play dates which might help.

Good luck to you and your daughter.  This must be very hard for you both.

Answer 11

Being the odd one out sucks.  The best thing you can do is do what you can to get her involved in sports and to make sure that she knows that she is nothing that these girls say because those who put others down do it to make themselves feel better.  i was made fun of when I was younger and i now in 9th grade have many friends and completely understand what she is dealing with tell her she will survive everything turns out great in the end just hang in there.

Answer 12

I had the exact same problem around that age.

My parents kept moving from one place to another, and I just couldn't stand it anymore because I felt like every time we moved, a part of my kept breaking, because I knew I had to start everything over again.

I don't want to upset you; I'm just trying to tell you how your daughter might be feeling.

I know exactly what she is going through because I had tons of kids in new schools purposely insult me in my face. I cried literally every night, knowing I had to go back there tomorrow.

But I got through this by just putting a smile on my face, and moving on.

I realized crying wouldn't help me; just break me even more.

I just tried to be as social as I could, and kept a smile on my face no matter how much I wanted to cry.

I know it's very hard to do this, but there really isn't another way.

I hope I helped :]

Answer 13

well you could try having a get to know everyone party make up some spiffy invites choose some were cool or just your house either one get a c**p load of sugary stuff make up some games an invite all those Lil s****. girls round they ll be eating out of her hand >:) so simple an devilish lol

Answer 14

I really don't think it matters what kind of school your in, kids can be very cruel. She has to have confidence in herself and know that she will find friends that like her for who she is. Please, get her to choose a sport that she thinks she might like. Sign her up asap. You mentioned that you were over weight when you were her age. Is she over weight as well? If so, a sport will help shed some of those extra pounds and give her a little more confidence in herself. Everything will work out in the end. keep her busy, busy, busy. She will find her true friends.

Good Luck :)

Answer 15

maybe suggest she join some clubs, or a sport. i moved around a lot when i was younger, and i finally got the hang of it.. i was a little older than she was, though. it might be better she get an earlier start at it! she just has to put herself out there. its hard, but its the only way. you get what you give you know!