Advice for a girl living with a family that yells/fights?

Question

I am so sick of my family. My brother does have issues, but my parents are making the situation worse w/their bad/lack of parenting skills. My dad is never home.....my mom babies my bro and lets him take advantage of her too. My bro physically abuses her an awful LOT. When he gets angry I hide in the garage. I mean, these episodes happen at night, so its not like I can go drive somewhere in my car. They are really loud too, they yell, scream, fight, break things...omg.

I hate how frustrating this is. I can't live with this. My mom tries to talk to me...but I usually am too angry w/her because she yells at me a lot. She will yell at me about small things like "Making my bed" when really she is mad about something else. It is not cool!

What do I do? Talk to my dad??? I mean, he isn't home much.....should I call him at work?? hmm...I don't think that would help.....when he is home....things are still bad.....sometimes WAY WORSE because there is an extra peson yelling their lungs off.

Should I talk to friends?? I have talked to some.....but......I mean...this is so embarassing....having a family like this. I don't want people to know what goes on in my family....it is so shameful!

What should I do in this household?? How do I stay sane??

Answer 1

Isn't there any organizations in your area that you can call? Sometimes there are hotlines you can call just to have someone to talk to about problems at home, and you don't have to give your name. Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier because they can remain neutral. I went through a similar thing growing up, my mom favored my younger brother and there was a lot of abuse! I left home at 15 but I would not advise it for anyone else.

Answer 2

Learn to "do the basics" to stay off your parents' radar (pick up after yourself, do your chores and keep your grades up), and play keep-away from your brother. When he is in one of his little moods, you disappear... either lock yourself in your room, or go to a friends' house.

Consider hitting the hardware store for the foam safety earplugs that block 60-90 dB.

Calling your dad at work is not the answer. Consider going to the school counselor for a mature point of view and maybe some coaching on how to handle things. See if there is some vocational training at your school that you can use to fast-track into working for a real wage... and maybe a college scholarship.

Get a paying job after school as soon as you can to give you more time away from your family's noise. You can take advantage of school clubs and extracurricular activities to provide legitimate excuses to be away from home (and supervised) until you are old enough to get a job.

Truth is, the only thing you have control over is yourself. Learn to detach from the situation and not get dragged into the drama. Use the next few years to make real plans and to put your family into your rear-view mirror. Capice?

When you can, try taking your mom for a little walk around the block... a little heart-to-heart away from the noise.

She probably needs to consider getting brother into some kind of resident counseling situation.

She only has a few years before he is 18 to teach him all he needs to know in order to be able to get along in the world... she might as well start now... even if it takes teaching him with a belt to his f***y, or getting professional help. She does not want to be stuck in this violent relationship with him indefinitely... she needs to get control NOW. Does she want to be stuck with this son into his 30s? Spoiling him now is not going to turn this mess around.

When you get the chance, take your dad for the same walk around the block.

Answer 3

aw man, that sucks, I went threw the same thing, a lot of people do.

except it was my mom and dad. she kinda started fights with my 3 sisters and I too. and my dad was usually never there either.

I think your mom is probably low of estrogen.(that is a pill women usually have to take to make their mood normal)

my mom didn't take it, and believe me..she was ******* crazy.

at least you'll toughen up after that. I did.

talk to someone, it is not healthy to bottle things up. find time to talk to your dad or a councilor.

or just get away, run away if you have to, that is only if its really out of control.