Advice for a new parent...

Question

I am trying to come up with helpful "tips" you all have found as new parents. Things you have either come up on your own as you have raised your children, or things that have been passed down that you think is beneficial. One example would be talking in a normal tone of voice without "baby talk" so your child will develop a normal speech pattern when it is ready to speak.

If anyone has any ideas, please respond.

Answer 1

Don't "baby proof" everything. Yeah it's a good idea if you need a break and don't want to be chasing your kid everywhere... but they need to learn "not to touch that plug-in" or "not to open the stove"... When you are in public you can't baby proof everything and if your kid is used to be able to do everything he wants, then once you go to a friends house or a store for that matter, they won't listen. So instead, teach them no now, then when you go into public, they still know what they aren't supposed to do.

Answer 2

Your example of talking in a normal tone without baby talk is incorrect. The tone of voice we use for babies is naturally higher pitched and with different prosody/intonation and is commonly referred to as motherese. We do this naturally as it gets our children's attention more. As for baby talk ... short sentences are good... you need to keep things simple for children so they can understand but you should try to use sentences a level above what they are using to help them develop the next stage. Using incorrect pronunciation however is bad (e.g. copying the child who says "tar" for car, or saying things like "look at the wabbit" etc.

Answer 3

Let me start by seconding everyone else's advice so far... the spoon, the readin the no-over-stimulation... all good tips. To add to the "Sometimes babies just cry"... keep in mind, doctors/friends/family will try to tell you that you cant spoil a new born. "If they're crying, they need something... You cant hold them too much..." All of this is total BS. You SOOO can spoil a newborn, no matter what age. If you do backflips every time they cry, they will cry ALL THE TIME, just for attention. If you ALWAYS rock them to sleep, they will not sleep unless you do. All of this is fine, unless you are a normal human who needs the use of his arms, goes to the bathroom, takes showers... you get the picture. After the first 4 weeks or so, fill your baby's belly and change his/her diaper, lay them down somewhere you know is safe (crib, etc.), give them their binky/toy/whatever they prefer for comfort, make sure their not too hot or too cold... address all their needs, and then just walk away. Make your baby learn to entertain themselves sometimes, or put themselves to sleep. I'm not saying do this everytime of course, but make sure they learn how to keep themselves happy. Trust me, you wont regret it!!

Answer 4

Allow your child to fall asleep on his own. When my daughter was about 3-4months old we put her in her crib, and her eyes shot open. She screamed and cried cause we were putting her down. We calmed her down, then left. It took awhile for her to go to sleep (we kept going in and making sure she was OK) but since then she's gone to sleep on her own.

Talk to your child as you would your spouse, friend...sure I joke around and talk baby talk to my little girl, but I also talk to her. What we're buying at the grocery store, where we're going, whats for dinner, etc. Baby talk is fine and fun, but be sure to introduce talking like an adult before the baby talk becomes the norm.

Say goodbye...I hate the thought of sneaking out. When I worked at a daycare there were a few moms that did it and when the child realized that mom wasn't there anymore you were in for it. But there were other kids that would run in, start playing, and watch as mom walked back to the car and could say mom would be back. My daughter is OK saying goodbye to both mommy and daddy when we leave, she knows we'll be back (we've always said, I love you, I'll be back in a bit.)

Remember that you as her parents know whats best.

Make sure she has a 'lovey' but don't drag it around everywhere. If you lose it you're in trouble! My daughter has her blankie and Tigger for bedtime. If she wants a comfort toy to carry around during the day she can choose another.

GIVE LOTS OF LOVES AND SNUGGLES!

Don't fight in front of her....this is so tough but it will mean so much! Kids are incredibly observant and if they see mommy and daddy fighting they'll take that with them to playdates one day.

Give your baby time to work stuff out on her own. Starting at about 2-3 months I stopped responding to every little whimper I heard during the night. Part of it was just from lack of sleep, but I wanted to see if she was just stretching out or rolling over etc. Low and behold she started sleeping through the night. I also taught myself to not react when she hurt herself. If she is very obviously hurt I will no doubt comfort her and hold her but I want her to learn to comfort herself and not always run to mommy. At least once a day she'll roll over or fall and bonk her head on the floor, get back up and keep moving.  

Answer 5

Start using a spoon to feed your kid once the food's consistency allows it to stay on the spoon.  The infant-feeders are much cleaner, but the spoon will help them self-feed sooner and better.

Diaper rash cream--get some when you buy the car seat and keep it at all times.  Those things come out of nowhere sometimes!

Don't overstimulate your baby.  It just irritates them and makes them not want to learn or play.

Sometimes newborns just cry.  It's how they deal with stress and everything that goes on around them.  (I wish someone would have told me this when my daughter was born.  I thought I was a bad parent for the first month.)

Answer 6

Take time and sit down to read with your kids. It will help them develop their own reading skills and vocabulary, and they'll grow closer to you because of that time you spend together.

Also, don't bribe your kids to make them be good. That's like rewarding them for their bad behavior. Eventually they'll learn to throw tantrums to get what they want. It's better to punish them when they're bad and reward them when they're good.  

Answer 7

swaddling!! it helps so much for a lot of babies...

when trying to get babies to nap, get them nice and warm and watch them well, so they don't overheat as that is a risk factor for sids..

also, watch baby closely for signs of tiredness or overstimulation...if they go toooo long, they will fight it!

if you see baby looking disinterested in playing of looking away from toys, or generally starting to act disinterested in being talked to or cooed at, then that is the time to nap!! don't wait until they are past that point as it is way too hard for them to settle and sleep....you just have to watch and learn your babies cues....and use a passy!! they are helpful for reducing sids and they also give babies that fulfillment they need if you have one that needs extra sucking...lots do....AND no matter what ppl will tell you, some babies WILL overeat related to the need to suck...if you feed baby and baby spits up a lot right after, try decreasing the amt by and ounce or so and offering the passy right after...had to do this with my gal bc she would def overeat and then we all ended up wearing; babies tummies are tiny....anyway, she sucks until she gets how much she needs then spits it out, like anything it can be abused, but in moderation it is good for them; and i found that the goofy looking soothie passys are the only ones she will take!! so try them out....also, when diaper changing i noticed she frequently urinates soon after she wakes up, so if i am going to change  her and she has been asleep, i stimulate her a little to get her awake, then change the diaper....

if u use desitin for diaper rash, make sure skin is clean and DRY under bc it is a moisture barrier and it works both ways, keep moisture in as well as out...also my doc said to use a thin coat, if they get a rash, and if they do to use COOL water and baby washclothes until it heals, wipes can irritate skin further....

he also said that zinc oxide was the active ingredient and that just plain zinc oxide was cheaper and would work just as well...

babies DO NOT need powder....

swaddle me s from kiddopotamus (babies r us has them) are great! my baby loved them....

babies love to be close, so maybe a baby carier, i felt more comfy with the front style instead of the sling, i like bjorn with back support, she's tired she curls up on my chest and sleeps, or if alert, she looks around as i go around the house...