Advice for an inadequate teenager?

Question

I'm 16, about to start sixth form and feel like the most useless, fake person ever. On the outside everything seems great, I get good grades and I have lots of friends but I feel as though i'm a complete fraud and soon people will find out. I got my GCSE results yesterday and even though I got 8As and 2A*s they seem really mediocre and I can't help but compare myself to other people who have done better. I often feel so isolated from my friends and two big sisters, and in my friendship group I often feel like the odd one out and the least fun, funny and liked. I constantly feel inadequate when next to my sisters, we're really close but they're more clever, more attractive and more popular than I, and increasingly often I feel as though I embarrass them and am just their podgy, boring little sister.

I've started being really healthy and am beginning to exercise more, as i'm overweight and want to feel healthier and more confident, but i'm scared that when I start school in a fortnight no one will want to be friends with someone as unattractive and generally as rubbish as me.

I don't know what I can do to stop feeling this way. I don't get on with my mum and although i'm very close with my dad I hate to worry him with my problems.

What can I do to make myself feel more successful and worth something?

Answer 1

You should take comfort in the fact that everybody feels like this when they are 16.

You are in a transition period from school child to young adult and it is a strange time. Once you get away from all the constrictions of school, (even if you are still doing you alevels at school) you will start to find your place in the world, and find more confidence with your social life.

Your results are fantastic, and you should be very proud of them. it really doesn't matter what other people have got, it is all about you and that's what you seem to have the problem with. Now is your chance to start thinking about your career and university, which is very exciting and should be the most important thing to you, not what everybody else is doing as what they have going on is not going to help you get the future you want!

Exercising more is a great thing to do for yourself, and is a great way to broaden your social horizons.

Try to get more confidence by meeting people with similar interests to you, and start being yourself. Try not to worry about what other people think because i can assure you that they are not thinking about you in the slightest, and are more interested in themselves just as you should be!

Answer 2

you have to remember you didn't get overweight overnight and you won't look better overnight...but at least you're trying NOW to get a better appearance and if you give yourself the chance to lose weight you won't be rubbish this time next year.....If you are patient and persist, you will have a  better life.... but if you expect overnight miracles.. you will give up, stay podgy, and you will be asking this same question later on.

Answer 3

You are a typical teenager.

Being aware of what you want is well on the way.

Answer 4

Write a book about it, teenage fiction is HUGE at the moment...

Maybe that was a bit insensitive. Listen, you're doing well. You've got good grades to set you up for sixth, and you're making positive changes. Give yourself a pat on the back.

You could always take up a hobby too. Maybe something sporty, to go with your new healthy lifestyle. It's a good way to meet people and you'll always have something to talk about.

Answer 5

Please don't be so hard on yourself. I can guarantee that all 16 yr olds feel insecure about themselves. But I can tell you have a good head on your shoulders and one day you will out shine everyone.  Being healthy and exercising are as important as  getting good grades, so you're on the right track. Others like people who are descent and kind and friendly, and if they don't appreciate you now, they will soon. And Dad's are there to help and listen to their kids, so he may be more worried if he sees you upset and unhappy than if you talk to him.

Chin up,sweetie  

Answer 6

I would put you above the rest just because you have the intellegence to look for answers others never would. Try not to compare yourself to others they have different circumstances than you and I heard a funny answer to this kinda queston a few years back "do you realize you had to swim past like a hundred thousand other sperm to be you?"

Answer 7

You wont believe me but at your age the majority of teens have exactly the same thoughts as you are having about yourself.

It doesn't have much to do with your looks or grades but a lot to do with the hormones racing around you at the moment.

As for not worrying your dad about it i can only say that I'm a dad and worry more if not consulted over problems so talk to him. You will be glad you did.

Give yourself a little time and things will settle down and you will forget all about the horrible feelings you get at this time in your growing up. We all go through it so your not alone.

Oh yea - congrats on your grades.  

Answer 8

There excellent grades! i've got my gcse's this year, and to be honest, i'd be lucky to get a B!! I think you should just be yourself. I used to like you. I had to go counselling and everything, i nearly became anorexic.  But you've just got to accept yourself, and think ' i dont care what you think, im here to please myself not you'. Because wherever you go there will be people who ***** and disaprove, but your here to live your life, not theirs So stuff their opinion. Well it helped me.

I would've been nothing without my friends and family to get me through!

i think you should tell your friends and family and they will do their most to help, if they love you, which im sure they do! I hope this helped a bit.  

Answer 9

Honey nothing wrong with you.  You are a perfectionist- look at your grades, awesome. Maybe some kids even adults jealous. You also come across as someone who feels helplessly inadequate. You do need some help with this.

Ignore your siblings and mum for now: tell Dad how badly you feel about yourself. Maybe some activities that are non-competitive, and that you enjoy, will help . Maybe Dad can help you get some counseling. It doesn't mean your a looser, just someone that needs help to work something out. (I've done counseling loads of time. I'm feeling good now.)

When you feel a little stronger maybe Dad, or the counsellor if you go, can help Mum and siblings understand you better.

Good Luck in school.  You will love Uni, it's very diff. than school.  

Answer 10

Hey kiddo we all feel that way sometimes I remember when I was your age I used to feel that way to but eating well and going to the gym will make you feel much better try not being like other people that will never work the right way to do things is strat enjoying who you are learn to aperciate you ok yeah we all cant have a rockin bod and buetiful face where not perfect but we have to work with what we have go to cosmopolitan.com learn some new tricks on how to make yourself look even more buetiful then your are try dressing up and walk with your head high i do not know how religous you are but the true thing that helped me was I God Try to go to church fall in love with God it will do amazing things to your life if you cant get out of this feeling you are having and dont want to go to your parents go to someone hun it is not healthy to live the way you are leaving babe good luck if you just need someone to talk to you got me I ll be more then welcome to cheer you up on a lousy day : )