Advice needed. Pregnant at 18!

Question

I just found out that I'm pregnant and I don't know weather to keep it. I'm in a committed relationship and there is enough money coming in to support having a baby.

However I'm about to start my first year at University studying medicine, plus I’m just starting out in life. But I don't really want to get rid of my baby. I don't know if I’m being selfish in keeping the baby and it not having a good life because I’m not ready. Plus i know I would always feel guilty if I got rid of it.

My boyfriend doesn’t know. Only for the fact that I don't know what to do my self. We have spoken about kids, and I know he likes them but I’m not sure he is ready.

So please could you give me advice on what you would do if you were in my situation.

Serious answers only please.

Answer 1

I would get an abortion, get on birth control so this doesn't happen again and finish school.

Answer 2

Adoption. You won't feel guilty by getting an abortion and you will be giving him (or her) a chance at a better life.

Answer 3

Whether you decide to keep or abort the baby is entirely personal and no one should ever judge you for it.  Do not worry about what others thinks-it is your life and you need to make the best decision for YOUR LIFE.  Please tell your boyfriend-he is pregnant too and needs to know.

I hope you can talk with your parents as well-but you must do what feels right for you.  If you decide to keep the baby there are ways to get through college with a child-but it will be challenging. In countries like Russia where it is common to marry at 19 and have kids -lots of women get through school as mothers. It can be done-on the other hand you need to decide what fits for you. WHATEVER YOU DO promise me you will not beat yourself up over the decision.  Also eat right and get those prenatal vitamins if you are thinking about keeping or having the baby-it's really important to be healthy!!  There is also adoption to think about...I'm sure you can find local counseling-and I highly recommend it!

Answer 4

dont abort the baby your gonna regret your whole life[thats what everyone says on a website ] but if your not gonna give it a good life then put it up for adoption but your gonna regret that if you want the baby and if you do then your abusly atleast gonna try to give it good life well good luck

Answer 5

That's really up to both of you. Consult all of this with him. He doesn't know? Then he's not mature enough to handle it. I suggest you get rid of it. That's what I would do. I wouldn't even think of him, think of yourself. It's you body. You're the one that's gonna deal with all the pain. And it's just a traumatic expirience for your body for 9 months. So, think about it.

Answer 6

i would personally keep it. im 17 i know thats young to but if i ended up not being able to have kids somewhere down the line i would feel like i gave up my only chance. but then again im not studying medicine. my cousin was going to give her baby up but found it really hard once she gave birth.

but give the baby up for adoption i always think is better then aborting because you are giving to people a chance to raise a baby when they might not be able to have one.  

Answer 7

In addition to food shelter and clothing kids need social, mental, emotional and spiritual stability and stimulation.

Can you provide these things?

Social-spending the time to teach the kid how to live with other people.

Mental-talking and playing with the baby.

Emotional-providing stability and support so the kid feels safe and loved.

Spiritual-Giving the kid access to the divine.

If you can provide those things your child will be fine.

If you can't he won't.

So decide based on the time you are willing to invest.  After food, clothing and shelter money is almost irrelevant.

Answer 8

Personally I would keep the baby. There is online college class that you can take and can a a degree in so that takes cares of the school problem. As far not having enough money to support the baby telly our boyfriend so he can get a job and if he already has one maybe get another one or a better one. This is what I would do if I were in your situation. Give the baby a chance at life.

Answer 9

for one im Pro-Life so an abortion is out of the qeustion for someone like me. yes you can make your own choice tho, but IF i was in your shoes i would at very least give the child up for adoption so that it has a chance to live out the life it was givin. having a baby is never a mistake!    

Answer 10

first of all talk to him and i would probably keep it cause keeping it is so not selfish cause a baby deserves to be able to live with it's parents u would feel guilty forever if u gave it away so keep it

Answer 11

Just speaking from experience, last year I had an abortion. I was also in a commited relationship. It was the hardest and best thing if that makes sense. I knew I wasn't ready but I was just starting out, I was still living with my parents, I never knew what it was like to live on my own. My worst fear was that I was going to resent my baby. I would never counsel someone into getting an abortion if they don't want one, but I am sharing my experience. A baby is a gift, and I don't believe just because you had s*x you should pay the consequences. People make mistakes, and a baby shouldn't be a punishment. It was hard at first for me, but eventually the pain eased. Once my due date came up, I started to get over it because I was like oh my god, what would I have done with a child. Have a baby when you're really ready for it.

Answer 12

You're going to have to tell him. Maybe he can help you in making your decision.

I would personally think about adoption, especially since you're going to be studying medicine. There's not going to be much time for taking care of a baby when your schoolwork is going to be so rigorous.

Unless somehow you could put college off for a few years... then go back when your child can be put into pre-school. For the half day your child is in school, you could take classes, then pick them up afterwards.

Answer 13

now, this is a very personal issue. first off you have to decide if you believe in abortion. my first thought, for me personally, is to say no, of course not, you are killing a living being. but then, when i think about it, a baby can make or break your life. you have to think about it in perspective, you are bringing a living being into the world and you have to decide whether or not you can handle that responsibility. i think that you should definetley continue going to study medicine and keep the baby if it is possible for you to afford a nanny or someone else to look out for the child. if not, don't bring a baby into a life it doesn't deserve. even if you do feel guilty, think of it this way, you are saving a kid the despair of living in an unfair life that he/she does not want.

another idea is to ask your boyfriend. if he really is supportive and likes kids, he should be able to help you make this decision. if you feel that he isn't ready and you still want to keep the child, you have to decide if you want the baby/him.

i hope this helps, i would love to know what you're going to do.

Answer 14

It is your call.

Answer 15

Ultimately the decision is yours- but I just want you to know that having a baby doesn't mean your life is over.  I had a baby at 17 and went on to graduate summa *** laude from college and am looking into going for my MBA.  It can be done- and just think of the example you would be setting for your child.

Answer 16

Me, personally, I would keep the child. I had my son at 20 and I am going to school for Nursing right now. I have 2 yrs left. It may be a challenge to complete school but if you are motivated then you can do it with your child there. I feel that children are a gift from God.  

Answer 17

The first thing to do is to tell him.

As for keeping it or not, I am also pro-life but I'm not going to shove this onto you. It's ultimately your decision.

If you don't want to abort it, you can go through with the pregnancy and give the baby to a loving family. But make sure it's an open adoption, meaning that you can visit your child. Closed adoptions will shut you out of your child's life.

Best of luck to you with your pregnancy and college! Medicine is a difficult major. :)

Answer 18

If you dont think youre ready, just abort it, its no big deal, don't have the baby unless you can give it a good life.

Answer 19

you obviously have to start out by telling him.

Answer 20

if you are not sure then you can have an open adoption which allows you to still be part of the child's life.

what you really need to do is tell your boyfriend.  he might be able to help you out more than you think.

If you don't want to have an abortion then don't you can give the baby up for adoption and you can be in every step of the process and even pick the family.  

You are not being selfish, you will be able to figure everything out when it happens.  You might just have to put your dreams on hold for a little while.

If you want to go into medicine then go to what the U.S. would call a community college and study your general education classes.  That way you will have those done and you can take a couple at a time while you are pregnant and while the baby is young.  

It is going to be difficult, but the joys you will have by caring for you child will be priceless.

blessings.

Answer 21

Tell him... See what he wants...

But final desision is yours.

Keep the child.

Answer 22

if i was in your situation i would keep the baby, that is NOT selfish. Espeically if you are in a commited relationship and you have enough to provide for the baby. And tell your bf asap.