Advice needed about a friend who lost her mother?

Question

My best friend lost her mother to cistic fibrosis in October. She soon began smoking pot to run away from everything and smokes a bowl every night so she can just pass out until the next day comes. I don't know what to do, we are in college and therefore she is away from her dad and brother. She asked me to take her pipe away for a couple weeks yesterday, but today was a bad day for her and she insisted that I give it back to her. I stood my ground, telling her we had a pact. She cried...which made me feel horrible, but because I wouldn't give in, but more so because I don't know anyway to help her. What should I do?

Answer 1

Honey keep it up  but keep in mind that if she is that determined to smoke she will ujust go buy or get another, it sounds like she has not totally processed all of the grief and pain she is feeling, she needs specialized help, being in college, you should be able to get ahold of a grief counsler, if you check in the counsling office, one of my friends lost her mother to breast cancer, one of the things taht helped her is helping with earning money for cancer resherch, and she wears a pink ribbion at almost all times, so maybe you could find out if the is a special ribbion for CF and also make sure she knows that, they have not totally concluded (last time I checked) if CF is passed down in the family, and she should know that if she wants to smoke that it could irritate her lungs and she could end up having problems as well.  I think taht the more you know about CF the more you can help her, it also helps if you have had to deal with grief, however unless you have lost your mother don't ever make the mistake of telling her you know how she feels, you do not, you may feel pain, but I promise you it is NOT the same!  I really think you should just stop into the counseling center and see what you can find, if you are in a big enought city there maybe a support group for kids taht lose there parents, it may just help her to be around others taht know how she feels, the pain, the anger, all of it.

Answer 2

In my opinion, smoking the pot is "keeping" her from grieving, which she needs to do, not to "get over" it, but to deal with her feelings, so she can begin the "healing" process.

Some, drown their pain in booze, drugs, s*x, shopping, and so on. It only works for the moment.

She needs to see the school counselor. I would suggest you speak to school counselor and get some advise there to get you started on your path to helping her, and in mean time also take care of yourself, it is very draining to watch someone you care about hurt so much, and feel there is nothing your doing to help.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Well, this is a difficult situation to be put in.

Good on you for standing your ground. I persoanlly think that you should get rid of the pipe altogether, else you may be tempted to return it to her. Let her detox, and she'll be having bad days, and mood swings and things like that. Continue to stand your ground, it's the withdrawal.

The above isn't very helpful, I know, but I need points, so I'm trying to answer as many questions as I am capable of.

Answer 4

the poor, poor girl. but you need to somehow alert her family, or tell her get help from the school counsellors. they will edefinetly help her face the grief better.

also tell her how her mother would feel about her smoking pot, if she could see her now.

Answer 5

You see ,it is a spiritual problem and you need t take her to a powerful prayer meeting

Be aware you are her 'light at the end of the turnnel'!!

God is watching on you!!