Advice needed! decisions need to be made and i need help!

Question

hi i have two situations that i just cant decide on

the first is i live with my partner and daughter(she is almost 3) in a one bedroom council flat with no garden or separate kitchen,the way the council works here (nottingham,UK) is that you have to bid on properties each week via the internet. we have a baby boy due in october so there will be 4 of us in the one bedroom:( we have been offered a 2 bedroom house but cant see it for at least a month. until we have rejected or accepted the property we will not be offered anything else. the only problem is that once we accept a 2 bedroom we will not be able to move for years,possibly not until our daughter is 14. do we accept a 2 bedroom or keep our fingers crossed for a 3 bedroom? i know some of you may be thinking we are greedy wanting 3 bedrooms but our little girl has had to share with us for almost 3 years and i think she deserves a room of her own, i don't want her to get used to a lovely new bedroom and then have to share with her brother, also if we accept a 2 bed, and in a couple of years manage to get a 3 bed it means uprooting her from her school and friends. however the thought of still being in a one bedroom with 4 of us is horrible.

the second situation is that we had a big argument with my partners parents on our daughters first birthday, to cut a long story short they made it clear that they were not that bothered about their granddaughter. we decided to bite the bullet and make contact after almost two years.we did this so that my partner could see his younger brother. it was very awkward and strange and they made the point that if we hadn't gone to them they had no intention of making the first move.now they want to see their granddaughter but we are unsure if this is wise? after 2 years of no contact should we try and build bridges? bearing in mind that this is not the first time they have cut us out of their lives? if we do see them again and another argument in a few months or years means they disappear without second thought this could be really upsetting for the children. plus they seemed quite content not to see their granddaughter for 2 years do they deserve to see her now? sorry this has been such a long post but my head is all over the place any thoughts, comments or advice would be much appreciated. thanks :)

Answer 1

I dont think you should let them have a close relationship with your kids because of the reasons you said. it seems like you already know the answer to that one! if it puts your kids at risk of course you are very hesitant to let them meet their grandparents. if they were going to be abusive to your kids then you would never let them near, and this is the same thing. they are possibly going to cause emotional harm to your kids, so you should protect your children.

the other question I dont really understand the situation. is it like government funded housing? you can't have a girl and a boy sharing a room indefinitely. it's inappropriate. it's also inappropriate to have them both in your bedroom for a long time. I think you should hold out for a three bedroom. can't you find a place on your own without this ridiculous system you're describing? that sounds nuts.