Question:

Advice needed; nervous about my friend's impending nuptials...?

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I have a lady friend named Jane who for many years has remained curiously single, but is finally getting married. I received my invitation in the post today, and the nuptials will be held in a lovely historic vineyard here in southern California next month. I am quite happy for Jane, as I was rather perplexed as to why she put off marriage for so long---I must confess, I feared that she was running the risk of being labelled an "old maid", and I did not wish her to suffer the terrible ridicule which goes along with such a title.

At any rate, Jane is finally getting married. The man she is marrying must be fond of eccentric types, as Jane has always been quite eccentric, eschewing makeup, effecting a rather mannish mode of dress, with a curious preference for plaid, wearing her hair in the most unusual of cuts, long in the back, short on the sides and top, and working a most unladylike profession, as a driver for UPS. I have always found her eccentricity to be refreshing, but could not imagine many men who would be willing to marry her.

As it turns out, there is apparently a man equal in eccentricity who has decided to take her hand in marriage, and this brings me to the point of my question, my nervousness about meeting her soon-to-be husband: his name, according to the invitation, is Lucille. Now, I know that these days one tends to run into some quite untraditional names, but I wonder about a man with such a strange moniker...surely his parents did not give him such a name; I can only imagine he adopted it for himself at some point.

At any rate, it is clear that Jane has met her match in eccentricity, and the two shall be wed. I am nervous as to how to address her new husband, and feel rather unprepared for any awkward situations that might arrive. Do you have any advice as to how I might handle this situation?

I must give them credit for a most eccentric invitation, too. It is decorated with a curious assemblage of lavender triangles against a backdrop of rainbows. Most eccentric, indeed!

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13 ANSWERS


  1. This is the funniest post I've read in a while!


  2. You do write VERY well... What a good laugh after returning to work from lunch! Thanks! ;)

  3. I believe you refer to her husband as "Lucille" or as you are introduced.  That would be proper I believe.  Now if you find yourself surrounded by women as eccentric as Jane and seem to have a lot in common with her a few topics of conversation that can never fail include:  Your last trip to Home Depot, Birkenstock shoes, Melissa Etheridge, and the Ellen DeGeneres show.  It might even be fun to beging a debate on "Who do you like better...Rosie or Ellen?"  

  4. Very fun. Why don't you go out and have a very g*y time at the wedding.

  5. You are my new favorite person!

  6. Perhaps your eccentric friend and their betrothed would like a wedding gift of the double ended variety?

  7. She's a butch UPS driver sportin a mullet?  ROFLMFAOhttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

  8. You should write books .made me smile

  9. Thanks for making my laugh :)

  10. uh...how do you adress him? lucille i guess. and i'm not really sure what kind of awkward situations might arrive....a little more details of what you're concerned about, please.

  11. Ha ha.... I actually was buying into it and was ready to explain to you what was probably going on until I read the last paragraph

    Awesome post! Thanks for making my Friday even brighter.  

  12. Are you close enough to Jane that you can assume a first-name basis with her husband? Assume that the name was chosen for the invitations is the one to use.

    And may I suggest a wedding gift? Something towards a honeymoon in the Greek islands would likely be appreciated.

  13. Quite entertaining. Perhaps you should consider writing short stories...

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