I will try to make this as short as possible...
I am a 23 year old living at home with my mother, her boyfriend and my mother's mother who has Alzheimer's. I moved back here last November after I left college. I work a full time job on top of running my own horse training and boarding facility. My mother's boyfriend helps me out with the farm since I am not able to be there 24/7. I pay him some money each week... just a small salary. He refuses to get a real job and lives vicariously through me and my dreams of having this horse farm... something he has always wanted as well but lacks the experience and stability. My mother stays at home all day and does nothing but sleep, drink, and takes care of my grandma. The house we live in is a pig stye (sp?). It is filthy, disgusting, infested with bees, cluttered and just down-right nasty. I hate living there. I have helped my mom clean her room and bathroom many times. I have organized and done everything I can to help her but she refuses to keep it up. Her boyfriend works hard but he is so scattered all over the place not knowing what he wants to do... he changes his mind career-wise about 50 times a day... and I am not exaggerating (sp?). I would move in with my Dad but he and I don't always get along either. He is in his 80's which makes me think I should move in with him because I know he could use my help but we just don't have a very good relationship. In fact, he is 90% of the reason I am constantly stressed out and always walking on eggshells. Anyway... here is my real question: I have an opportunity to move in with my boyfriend and his parents. They have a nice little house close to my work with 5 acres... enough to even move a couple of my own horses to make room for more boarders at my farm = more $$$. I have basically stayed every night over there since he and I got back together (we dated while I was in college but I partied too much back then and it just didn't work out well). I have known his family my entire life. His parents have literally known me since I was in diapers, and so has he. We want to eventually get married but we want to make sure that we have our finances in order first. I make good money and can afford to pay rent to his parents, plus it would help them out a little since his mom is stressing over the fact that her husband still does not have a job.... she doesn't want to lose the house and we don't want her to either so my boyfriend and I suggested me moving in and splitting the rent 4 ways. I know all of the pitfalls to be aware of when it comes to living with your boyfriend and what other people might think as well. I just want to get out of my current living situation and get my life a little more organized in a cleaner house. Do you think that moving in with them will hurt me more than I am already hurting myself by living at my mother's filthy house that is driving me insane?
And P.S. to all those that answer by saying "talk to your mom about how you feel".... this won't work, I grew up in a filthy house, I know her habits, she will never change, and neither will her boyfriend.
And P.S.S. I can't afford to get a place on my own just yet... or I would!
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