Advice needed...?

Question

I am almost 39 weeks tomorrow and I love the family that is adopting my baby girl and I am completely happy with my decision. I was just wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how on how they felt afterwards.

Thanks for your time!

Answer 1

Hi, I just wanted to thank-you for making such a loving and wonderful decision!!! You are a hero!!!!

I think you should try to stay busy as much as possible for the days/weeks after the adoption.  You deserve to pamper yourself. Perhaps go on a little vacation.  Get a massage, you deserve it big time!

If you start feeling depressed, please try to meet with a counselor. Remember that you made the best decision for yourself and this child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))) and THANK-YOU for giving this child life!!!!!!!

Answer 2

You gonna miss her for a while, and its definately going to hurt, but you get reassurance knowing that you made your decision in her best interest.

Answer 3

I hope you will keep in touch with your baby and the parents that are adopting it will let you.

It's really important that the child knows they were adopted and why. They won't have to wonder why their birthmother gave them away.

Plus, when it grows up and maybe has a project in school that they need to know their background for, they'll always know who to call or email.

Trust me, I was adopted at birth and my birthmother has kept in touch with me the whole way.

While I was a baby my mom and her wrote back and forth and my mom would send her pictures of me. Once I hit 1st grade, she flew out to see me and that's been one of my happiest memories so far.

Answer 4

Just remember that your baby will live with these people, they make her happy, give her what she needs in life, you will miss her but you are doing it for your personal reason. Just thank god you found yourself a good set of parents...

Answer 5

I'm not entirely sure there is a good way to prepare for relinquishment. I think if I had to do it all over again, I would honor the process of deciding between adoption and parenting better. Part of the problems I have had in the years since relinquishment is coming to terms with not being my own advocate. Not only did I relinquish my child, I relinquished my judgment to other people's advice for fear of either being too needy, or out of fear of making the situation worse.

So with that, I say honor the process. You cannot decide that you will relinquish your baby for adoption until after birth. You can make an adoption plan though. You can look at profiles and possibly pre-match with a potential adoptive family. Keep in mind that this is just a plan, and the potential adoptive family is just that... potential. It is so easy to let yourself think of your baby as theirs instead of yours. It is so easy for potential adoptive parents to think of your baby as theirs and not yours. Be kind to everyone involved and not let that assumption be made. This is your baby until the termination of parental rights is signed. They should not accompany you to doctor's appointments. They should not be at the birth because of how easy it is lose sight of the huge choice you have to make after the baby is born. If you still choose adoption, they will have a lifetime to bond with your child.

If you were to choose adoption after your baby is born, realize that every moment of the time you have with your baby will be forever etched in your memory. Hold your baby. Take the time to absorb that time in. While some say the thought of looking or holding will make the separation hurt more, the lack of holding or looking hurts way more in the years to come.  Also take a lot of pictures of you pregnant, and a lot of pictures of the baby, especially you holding your baby.

Also, look at all your options. You need a parenting plan in place. You cannot make an informed decision without know all of your options. In fact, the pressure placed on you to relinquish without a parenting plan is that much worse.

Here are some good links to get some serious thought into what is to come:

Safeguarding the rights and well being of birthparents in the adoption process

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publica...

This is a website written by a birthmother to help give information about open adoption in a non-biased way.

http://www.openadoptioninsight.org/

Finding the resources to support an open adoption

http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/

Discussion boards to help find resources and get more information about your choices.

http://www.singlepregnancy.com/

http://www.girl-mom.com/

http://soulofadoption.com/

Answer 6

I am glad you have stepped up and admitted you cant provide for the child and did not choose to murder the baby through abortion. I am sure it will be hard for a while but it would of been so much harder to choose abortion.