Advice on Letting our Sitter Go?

Question

She also watches my sister's kids and is constantly going back to her and telling her things that are none of her business. She nevers comes to us with concerns, she just draws her own conclusions (usually wrong) and calls my sister and tells her all about it.

Obviously, she doesn't seem to be comfortable talking to us (about us) and I'm definitely not comfortable with her lack of respect for our privacy.

Plus she's not licensed, charging $20/day, and I can't turn it in on my taxes. I found someone who will watch them our child, who is licensed, for $2/hour (based on our current schedule).

I'm just not a confrontational person (unless provoked) and I would like some advice on how to handle this.

Answer 1

You don't have to be confrontational, just tell her that you found someone else that simply works better with your life/schedule/etc. Tell her you're sorry to have to let her go, and maybe offer to be a reference. You don't have to tell her exactly why you're letting her go (privacy issues) if you would rather avoid it. Honestly I'd say the higher price, her not being licensed, and not being able to report child care expenses on your taxes are MORE than reason enough to switch. In the end you need to do what's best for your family, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. Good luck!

Answer 2

Doesn't she realize you and your sister are family and you... TALK?!?!  Wow.  

I would just simply tell her that you found someone who doesn't talk about you behind your back.  If you don't dare to say that, tell her that you and your family made a new budget and found someone who will watch the kids for much cheaper (she doesn't need to know how much.)

Answer 3

"We have decided it's best for our family to switch to a different day care arrangement.  The kids will be starting at their new place on Aug 1st.  It's less expensive and it will be good for their social skills to be with other kids."

Don't get all into the she-said stuff.  That will only make matters worse.

Answer 4

I currently run an certified in home day care center and all that I require from my parents is that they give me two weeks notice in writing. They don't have to explain anything to me unless they want. I would just give her notice that you are changing day care and if she ask why you can just let her now that you found someone who is going to claim it on there taxes. If you feel you need to address the other issues I would let her know that you don't appreciate her telling your sister things that don't affect her. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

I totally feel your pain. I know it's hard to do this sort of thing.

Instead of hurting her feelings and telling her the truth, you can tell her that because of the nature of the economy, your accountant wants you to keep receipts of how you spend your money, and since she's not licensed, you need to UNFORTUNATELY find someone who is. Try and not to tell her in person to avoid the confrontation.

And remember, try and not be emotional and don't say too much. Try and be stoic, and just say what you mean... mean what you say... no sugar coating either :)

good luck

Answer 6

Well, you can turn it in on your taxes.  All you need is her name, address, and social security tax.  Keep a receipt book, and give her a receipt each time you pay her.  Pay her by check, and clearly write on the memo: babysitting.

If she is unwilling to give you her social, so you can report your expenses, then tell her you'll have to let her go.  On her last day you can also mention that you didn't like her airing your pesonal family matters.

If it is extremely hard for you to confront her, then put it in writing and include it with her last payment in an envelope. Leave it open, by saying that you'd be pleased to answer any questions or concerns from her.

The next time you hire, make a simple hiring sheet that spells out the baby sitters duties, pay that you agree upon, and that you expect that he/she keeps family matters private up to what is mandated by the law, and a place that one can provide the info you need for taxes.  Have him/her sign it.

Answer 7

Confronting her about it is going to be hard, but sometimes you have to do whats best for your family.She is telling your sister things that is none of her business.That's your sister,she has got to know its going to get back to you.You can tell her that your thinking about hiring someone else to baby sit that is licensed so you can claim it on your taxes,to avoid any confrontation.Or you can just flat out tell her that you don't appreciate her talking about your family to your sister and you going to replace her with someone that takes their job seriously.