Advice on adopting my daughters unborn son?

Question

our daughter decided she couldnt go through with a termination but asked if we her parents could adopt her baby as she can not cope with more children

Answer 1

Do you want to adopt the child? Are you in a position (both financially and circumstantially) to spend the next 20+ years raising the child? Are you the best person to parent this child?

If the answer is yes, go for it. If not, there are plenty of couples out there who would give anything for a baby to adopt, who will be able to love and care for and support the child for life. There is always an answer, so you shouldn't feel you have no alternative.

Answer 2

Guardianship would be a better option in this situation.  Calling grandma 'Mom' is just too messed up.

I hope it works out for you guys and it's wonderful to keep the child in the family

Answer 3

Why would the parents just not help raise the child?

Instead of making it all weird screwed up for them...?

Answer 4

I think you should convince her to have another couple adopt the baby. Many good and loving couples are on long waiting lists and have the resources to give the child a wonderful life.Do you really want to have to deal with raising another child for the next 20 years?

Answer 5

I think you have to wait until the baby is born and the father has to sign away his rights to the child.Unless she doesn't know who the father is, then you'll probably need a lawyer.

Answer 6

I say adopt the child. And I say this because if my grandparents had adopted me and my sister, we wouldn't have lived in grouphomes and foster care growing up!

Answer 7

Can you not give her support as apposed to officially adopting the child............she may change her mind at some point in the future which will make life for all concerned very difficult.

Answer 8

I agree with heather. I think that keeping things as honest and as open as possible, is going to be best in the longrun. I think that keeping the child in the family is also a really positive thing.

There are many things to look at. You must see how your daughter feels at the time of birth etc and not make any quick descisions right now. I cant say too much as your situation seems more than just adopting your granson.

Good luck in whatever you decide is best.

Answer 9

Grandparent adoptions happen quite frequently. You and your daughter should look for an adoption attorney to get things moving.  

Good luck!

Answer 10

I think you should and have you daughter visit her son on a regular basis, like she is the grandmother. The child will still stay close to his mother and your daughter still gets to see him.

Answer 11

Why can't you just raise him?

Answer 12

What does "cope" mean? Financially? I never understand parents adopting the children of their children. Why not guardian? assist in raising? be really involved grandparents? I just don't understand the reason for termination and transfer of parental rights severing the relationship between the adoptee and his family?

of course, I do understand the necessity in lives of drugs/abuse and unstable relations etc.

Answer 13

Seek proper legal advice

Answer 14

You should speak to social services - they'll be able to help you and tell you what needs to be done. Since you're a family member, it won't take long.

I think it's a lovely idea that you want to adopt the baby. Good luck and I hope the baby brings you years of joy growing up.

Answer 15

Once the child is born she might change her mind.

Support her through the pregnancy because having Grandparents adopt one of her kids could be really confusing for the poor kid.

Answer 16

i don't know much on this subject ! me & my husband have just been to seek legal advice today in regards to him adopting my daughter from my relationship before. and its going to be a drawn out thing as i need consent from her natural father and i dont no where he is ! if your daughter is giving consent i think it would be a lot quicker ! where do you live ? are you in the uk?

if you are plz get back to me & i will tell you what social services & that have send

good luck

Answer 17

Hope this helps...

http://www.adoptionbygentlecare.org/serv...  

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Adoption-Issu... http://www.adopting.org/

http://aplink.wordpress.com/2007/12/14/l...

http://www.usmagazine.com/dad_devastated... http://standandbecounted.us/

Answer 18

cope with MORE children?

well tell her to get fixed after she gives birth.

you could raise it and she still be the mother. i think that would be best, so when the child is older, the real mother doesnt decide to break the news to it and confuse it.

if you can afford it and are able to do it, why not? its better that having your daughter raise it without loving it, etc. or it going to a strange foster home!

maybe you and your daughter should seek therapy toghether, they are trained to help you see the whole picture..

Answer 19

It needs to be a decision you and your husband really think about and consider.  It has got to be something you both want to do, and are capable of doing.  Other than that I am not sure what else to say, other than good luck and best wishes!

Answer 20

It's a foetus until birth. Get your facts right.

And did you coerce her not to go ahead with a termination? You are sick.

Answer 21

I think it a good idea to adopt your daughters baby rather someone from the outside to come in and adopt. Anyway whether you adopt or not you still going to get involve in this childs life as you are going to be a grandmother. if she doesnt want anymore children then she should consider family planning.

Answer 22

do wot you think is best seek advice found out where you stand you never know she might change her mind when baby is born

Answer 23

I wouldn't adopt that's too final, as you said she already has children and i guarantee she will change her mind when she has this one, why cant you tell her you will stand by her and help as much as she needs you not just with the baby but with all the kids, its sort of letting her off lightly into thinking she can just give you the baby to raise, what will that child think in years to come that her sister is really her mother and she raised his other brothers and sisters but not him!

Raising kids is HARD end off, if you have one or two you may as well have the three because being a mother is only as difficult as you make it!

I'm sure shes a great mum but she just needs a push in the right direction not wrapped in cotton wool, make her see sence and it WILL work out for her with obviously her parents support xx

Answer 24

well, for sure keep the child in the family.  i would suggest finding out about things like medicaid and such before taking legal action to adopt.  if the baby is kept in the mothers name, it may qualify for more assistance with "temporary guardianship".

Answer 25

i would go and seek legal advice that the best thing to do but you should raise him up so she can still be in his life and be there for him when she is ready

Answer 26

Your daughter and the father must sign away their parental rights.  You need to contact a family lawyer and they will be able to guide you.  You may want to consider legal guardianship at first since it is something that can be done quickly.  Then you could work on the adoption.  But either way you will have to hire a family lawyer.