Advice on convincing my mother?

Question

i've been seeing this guy for about a month now, and he is basically everything that i could ever ask for. he's in college and i'm in high school. we spent the last month of summer together, and are doing fine even though we are an hour apart. we talk all day, mostly through text messages, and i've never had anybody as great as him :)

theres only one problem. and thats my mother. although she pretends to like and get along with him while he's at my house, and i honestly think that she DOES like him, she denys it, just like every other guy that i've dated. she always finds something wrong with them.

today she talked to one of her co-workers about the guy i'm seeing. this person used to go to school with him, and was telling my mom bad things like that he was gross, and alot of other things that i just don't want to hear. it turns out that this person just doesn't get along with my boyfriend, and i'm guessing thats why she was running her mouth. it angered me that my mom was involving other people in my relationship. i voiced my opinion, but all she did was get mad at me and thats where we stand now. i want to keep seeing this guy, and for once, i'm not going to let her take him away from me. this is what she always does, she gets dirt on the person i'm seeing until she doesn't let me see them anymore and i'm sick of it. i want to be with somebody because i want to, and if it was my moms choice, i wouldn't be with anybody because nobody is good enough for her.

how do i talk to her about all this?

Answer 1

You can sit her down and be like mom I really like him and I respect your feelings and opinion but I'm trying to be responsible and make decisions for myself and i would appreciate it if you would respect me. and if that don't work remind her that there are many girls and guys out there who's going behind their parents backs and you're trying to be straight with her!

Answer 2

well, are you a senior, or a junior? what is his year?

no matter the difference, i believe if you keep a good head on your shoulders and really believe he is a good guy, than good luck.

Answer 3

Tell you you are not influenced by the outside,

that should do.

Answer 4

Sounds like your Mom is trying very hard to protect you from making a mistake or steer you toward a boy she might choose herself.

Neither thing is a good idea.  If she raised you right and you know right from wrong you should be able to make choices and find out for yourself. If you don't learn from some mistakes; and he may not be a mistake~I don't know him so I can't say.  But you have to be able to learn somehow.  

If we learned from books or strictly Mom we can't be independent.

My daughter dated an older boy while she was in high school and was very open and frank with me about her relationship.  She did OK and they are still going strong now that she is in college too.

I wanted to let her make her own choices because I felt I had given her the tools to do it.

You are right that Mom should not talk outside of home to others about the boy you like but that must be her way of doing things.

Listen to what she says and try to understand why she wants to protect you.  But you have to learn to choose a boyfriend/person you want to be with forever, by making mistakes.

No one is ever good enough for a Mom's little girl. That is understandable but not real life.  

You know if he is good or bad right? That's what matters....as long as you keep your wits about you.

:)