Advice on home educating?

Question

I have just de-registered my 11 year old daughter from school.She has suffered to many months of bullying and torture.I have decided to teach her myself at home,but some people are advising me to give her a cooling off period before i start any education with her.Is this right and what would the LEA think of this.Any advice would be helpful please.Any anti home educators with rude remarks will be reported.

Answer 1

HSmomlovinit and YSN were spot on.

My son started HS'ing while he was in preschool, so we didn't have to deschool.  Most people recommend one month of deschooling for every year they were in PS.

This is not to say you won't do any educational activities in that time...you just don't have to call them that ;-).  Do as others suggested - make learning fun.  Then you can ease into "formal" coursework over time.

I wish you all the best!

Answer 2

No, I don't think you should have a break unless you are going to do school through the summer. Get a curriculum (I suggest Switched-On-Schoolhouse if you and your daughter are very computer literate) and get started ASAP.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

What do you mean a cooling off period? That you won't teach her? Why don't you finish off the rest of the year and you will have the whole summer to think about if you want to home-school her next year or look for a different school. I support your decision to help her, but make sure she is involved in some kind of after-school program so she doesn't become isolated.

Answer 4

If school has been a rough experience for her, then yes. Definitely give her a "de-schooling" period. This will be a time for her to get over the things that happened in school and stop associating school in general with something very unpleasant. It is also a time for you two to get to know eachother on a new level as she'll be home much more often than she used to be and you'll have a lot more time together. You'll have a chance to see how she likes to learn and how she learns best, find out if she's a very creative thinker who needs lots of freedom in that area, or very logical and likes lots of structure, or if she's somewhere in between. You'll be able to discover her interests, goals, dreams, and talents, and use all of this information to your advantage when you do finally start a schooling routine. Above all else, this will be a time for her to rekindle her natural love of learning with the help and encouragement of someone she loves and respects. Some say one month for every year in school, but I've also heard people say one week for every year in school. I believe it depends on the child. I myself had been in school for 8 years but only needed a little over a month before I was eagerly starting into the curriculum we'd put together Now if the idea of letting your kid sit around and do nothing for a large chunk of time sounds a bit scary to you as a parent, well....you're going about it the wrong way. You don't have to spend all this time just letting your child sit in front of the TV watching cartoons all day or IMing on the computer. The idea is to not force the new schooling environment on the child right away. So don't take your child home and expect her to sit down the first day with a mathbook doing algebra drills or diagram sentences for an hour on end. For the first week or so, let her relax. Let her watch TV within reason, go for walks, play outside, read for pleasure if she enjoys doing that... Let her come with you to run erands and just enjoy eachothers company. After a little while doing this, offer her a trip to a neat educational place like a museum, hands-on science center, a zoo, an art studio, or any place that offers educational tours and activities for kids. Take her to the library afterwards and let her get books about something she heard about and became interested in. When at home, watch things like Animal Planet or Discovery Kids if you have those channels. Bring her some educational toys to play with like brain teaser puzzles, craft kits that will get her thinking creatively and learning a new skill, educational omputer games, cranium... get her one of those neat National Geographic science kits, or google Home Science Tools and see if there's something on the first website that comes up that she'd like (there are great perfume/soap making kits or ice cream or bubble making kits that teach a lot about science while the child thinks she's just having fun). Get her playing and enjoying herself but still learning. Her natural curiosity will get her asking you questions or wanting to know more about certain things. She might find that she likes certain subjects and wants to read more about them when you go to the library. Start making library visits a scheduled thing... Every other Monday or something like that. This is the first step into a schooling routine. Make outings to educational places a routine thing as well. If she's interested, sign her up for a club or class in the community.. Art, music, a class at a museum, or a club at the library, etc. Then just move on from there when it comes to intrducing a curriculum. Use what you've learned about your daughter to make the decision and keep it an enjoyable experience for the both of you. Show her that school does not need to be unpleasant and  it wont be. Just ease into it gradually. Oh, and this de-schooling period would be the PERFECT time for you and your daughter to join a homeschool support group or co-op. Use google to find one in your area. A group like this will offer you so much support and so many social and academic resources as you make this transition. Good luck!

Answer 5

A recovery period is usually recommended when a child is taken out of school, particularly where it's be a traumatic experience. Most people seem to think one month for every year at school but it really does depend on the child. When she's ready, she's ready, and if you try to push her before then she'll probably just refuse to learn.

Enjoy the nice weather, go out and do fun things together and don't worry about anything 'educational' before September. Maybe see if you can make contact with a local HE group even if you don't go along to any gatherings it's nice to have that lined up for later and be in contat with people who know what your LA is like.

Your Local Authority will probably tell you all sorts of fairy stories about their 'duty' to visit your home or see work your daughter has done. None of this is true! Just keep in mind that they and their school have let your daughter down. Read up on your rights, stand your ground, and don't let them bully you.

And enjoy watching your daughter turn back into the child you thought had vanished forever.

Answer 6

You might want to do some un-schooling activities instead of letting your daughter have a complete break from schooling.  You could do educational, but fun things together, that aren't in a lesson plan.  You can do things that your daughter's interested in - like a particular science lesson, or history topic.  It all depends on how well  your daughter will adapt to homeschooling, and how well she learns - and you know her best to know the answers... but being in a similar situation a few years back, I went the unschooling route to build up my daughter's confidence for a few weeks before we tackled what I would consider legitimate lessons.  I also did things that taught, but my daughter thought we were doing something fun vs. actually doing a lesson - like cooking and baking to throw in some math and science.

Answer 7

I'm not even sure what the LEA is. LOL! We are in the U.S. so if that is in another country I would check to see what their regulations are. If you can let her have a cooling off or deschooling period then that would be great. Even interest lead learning or simply reading about different things will help her to still learn while having fun. ;)

Answer 8

If she has experienced trauma and misery, I would have no qualms whatsoever about giving her a "cooling down" period.  It would probably do you well, too.  After six or seven years of involvement in school environments, you and her could both use a few months getting your minds out of an institutionalized way of life.  All of my kids are way ahead.  Yours probably will advance quickly as well while she's being taught one on one and being allowed to explore the things that interest her.  There's really no worry about her falling behind.  So go ahead and let the poor kid have a break.  The school year is almost over, anyway.  You could spend the rest of the school year deciding what curriculum you want to use.  We use Sonlight.  We really like it a lot.  It's especially good if you and your child both love literature.  Here's there link:

http://www.sonlight.com/

All the best to you.  If it happens like it did with us, you'll see a difference like night and day within the first month.

Answer 9

She *needs* that time off if you're going to homeschool successfully. She was just in a terrible situation; of course she needs time to recover. If she were twenty years older and had just been through a divorce, you wouldn't expect her to show up at work the next day, bright and chipper. So, why should it be any different in this case?

After my parents pulled me out -towards the end of the year- they didn't do any schoolish stuff for several months. I slept a lot, binged on TV, and spent a lot of time doing what a lot of people would call 'nothing.' After a while I realized something: it was really boring. I wanted to learn things and be productive, so I did and was.

Use this time to figure out how you're going to teach her, and how to set things up in your house. Don't be afraid to be flexible; let her work when and where she wants. I know one family whose kids all work off of clipboards, on the subway. Their 13-year old is literally doing calculus, so I guess they have to be doing something right.

This is my personal homeschooling philosophy; feel free to ignore it:

Would this [assignment, curriculum, random idea] be reasonable if someone expected it of *you*?

You might think it's a great idea to have your kid read Pride and Prejudice, then watch the movie, and write a report comparing to two. Okay. So, if your husband told you you had to take notes on a movie and write a report about it, would you think that was a great idea?

Kids want to learn, but we don't always want to do a lesson. There *is* a difference.

Answer 10

How many days are left in this school year where you are anyway? 5? 10?

I'm not saying leave her in a bad situation - take her out. Now. Why allow her to suffer even one more day.

What would the LEA think about taking a cooling off period???

The great thing about homeschooling is the flexibility in scheduling and approach.  Here are some ideas:

- finish up the few days in this "school year" slowly over the summer

- finish up at the beginning of the next "school year"

My Favorite & What I Would Recommend  - make the remaining few days of this year light and enjoyable (videos, field trips, journaling, drawing, cooking, reading*, a special interest project**, getting involved and connected with other homeschoolers)***

* Just let her sit on the porch swing or under a shade tree with an enjoyable book or two

** This could be just about anything that interests your daughter - gardening, hiking, arts, crafts, photography

*** In our area, 4-H programs are just getting underway. My DS is taking archery and that will count as a 1/2 credit of PE for him next year.

Final note: A common "mistake" with new homeschoolers (including us) is to try to replicate PS at home with a rigid schedule and such.  It causes burn-out, is much less enjoyable and you don't acommplish any more than with a more relaxed approach

UPDATE: Depending on your state laws, it may not be any of the LEAs business - and should not be IMHO.  Some states are more heavily regulated than others.

Answer 11

She will absolutely need time off. Encourage her to read, cook, garden etc, but otherwise leave her be. You'll know when she's ready to start schooling again. If she's dragging on too long, more than a year, then it's time to start introducing some subjects.

Don't tell anyone anything if you can get away with it. Otherwise, you are 'unschooling.'

Answer 12

Yes, if she's had an extended traumatic experience at school, she will very likely need a cooling off period - we fondly call it "deschooling". :)  The purpose of this period - whether it is a few weeks or a few months - is to give the child time to transition into a new way of learning.

Your daughter has likely learned over the past several months - and even years - that she can't get ahead, that she can't have a voice, and that her thoughts don't matter.  Jumping straight into school will likely cause her to carry over those thoughts into her home studies.  Giving her a few months off - just consider it an early summer break - will give her a chance to realize that she is smart, that she can learn, that she does have opinions and the ability to follow them, and that what she thinks, how she learns, and what her interests are *do* matter.  

Once she is past this transitional time, you will see a whole new girl standing in your daughter's shoes - one who is excited to learn, is happy with herself, and who surpasses your goals for her.  At the very least, you won't see the bullied 11yo who you had to pull from school - you'll have your daughter back.

I'm in the US, so I can't speak for what the LEA will think, but as far as I am aware you don't have to follow the government school calendar.  As long as you meet the requirements, I really don't think they would have a reason to confront you.

Deschooling is a normal and widely accepted practice - my son came from a good school experience overall, and we still had a period of deschooling.  Home education is a transition - a good transition, but still a transition.  Even adults can have difficulty adjusting to large transitions; children generally need more time in which stress is lowered in order to adjust.  That's all the cooling off period is - a chance for her to adjust and learn to be herself again.

Best of luck!

Answer 13

School is almost over for the year and chances are if she had stayed in school she would not have learned anything anyway.  So an extended summer holiday would not be unreasonable.   You could use this time to do fun things.  Museums, fairs, historical sites, parks, etc.  Find out her interests and research them for fun.  Get her doing a fun craft project or learn a skill like knitting or crocheting, painting etc. etc..  Let her rest but do not let her mope.  (No written stuff, that is too much like work.)   Basically unschool.  I don't know what kind of homeschooling you have planned but it would also give you time to research materials, philosophies etc. so you will be prepared for the fall.

And as for your warning about reporting rudeness--RIGHT ON!!!!