Advice on how to tell a 4yr old?

Question

hi everyone. i am currently 4 months pregnant and myself and my partner have tried in vain to tell our 4 yr old son that there is a new baby on its way. he gets very annoyed when we even breach the subject. he is a little boy who is used to undivided attention and is probably very spoilt! he is a beautiful child who has a lovely nature but to see him so distressed is killing us. please help!we have told him that we wont love him any less and that nothing will change but nothing seems to be working...has anyone been in the same situation? we cant bring him to scans etc as they are during school hours but we do show him..what can we do?

Answer 1

he might be mad right now but if you keep tring to talk to him and always inclued him is doing stuff for the baby. Like painting to babys bedroom, have him make an t-shirt that say something like im a new big bother or something like that. also let him feel your tummy and stuff like that.

Alway make sure you and partner always spend time alone with him playing games or reading an book while the baby is sleeping or something like that!

Answer 2

My oldest was 6 when I got pregnant the next time and she hated it.  For six years all the attention had been on her and she was beyond spoiled.  We sat her down and explained to her that the baby was going to be here around Christmas and she would just have to accept it because it was a part of us just like she was.  We made sure to keep trying to get her involved, tried to get her to help set up the nursery pick out names etc but for the 9 months she was a brat.  When her little sister was born from the very start we got her involved but didnt force her to do anything and kept telling her over and over that now she was a big sister and the baby would look up to her.  It took a few weeks but soon she was doing more and more with the baby and now they are 16 and 10 and have a great relationship.  Your son is only four so to him if he doesnt want it you can just take it back, keep stressing to him that you love him and how he will be the big brother and a hero in the babies eyes, try getting him involved and he will come around.

Answer 3

Hi there.

You might just have to accept the fact that your son may never accept the situation.  There is nothing you can say or do that will make him feel differently.  All you can do is wait for him to see for himself that having and little brother or sister isn't that bad! In fact, I think he will change his mind and be very pleased about having a new sibling to play with!

All you can do is prepare.  Make sure you have everything set up and ready for the baby, that way he can see the process is already happening.  

Once you have the baby, let him hold it.  

I'm sure that everything will turn out just fine.  It sounds to me like you're already doing everything you need to.  Don't worry yourself too much!

Take care.

Answer 4

Just make sure you make plenty of time for him once you bring the new baby home. He will notice mommy's tummy getting bigger during the pregnancy. Make sure you include him in things like picking out an outfit for the baby or buying a toy for the baby. Let him touch your belly when it gets bigger and tell him there's a baby growing in there. Once you find out the s*x of the new baby let him know that he's having a brother or a sister and what the baby's name is going to be so all of you can start referencing the baby by name and it makes it seem more real to your 4 year old.

Good luck with this. I'm worried about this happening in a way when I decide to have another child and I'm not even pregnant again yet and my son is 7 years old. :)

Answer 5

I wouldn't mention anything like "we won't love you any less" that might put the idea in his head that maybe you won't. Try to only say positive things. Maybe what a wonderful big brother he will be, how he can help with the baby, try to involve him in decorating the baby's room, picking out clothes and toys, etc. Make him feel important and make him think he is making some choices as well.  Maybe get some story books from the library about this sort of thing.  Just really be positive and he will pick up on that.  Good Luck.